That's my bench - was aibu

[Blueysmumagain]

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

If there's empty benches, why sit on the one with the pram. Sorry I'm with her

Of course she can’t bagsy a bench with her pram, and her ranting was unreasonable - but why did you choose that one of all the empty ones?? That’s makes you seem like an arsehole trying to make a point.

You were both being unreasonable. Not her bench but also weird to chose the one with the buggy. She probably thought you did it deliberately to be annoying and I can kind of see why.

YABU

YABU if there were plenty free I wouldn't have picked the one with the pram.

If there was plenty of free benches why pick one that was obviously occupied?

Odd benefit from you when there were plenty of other benches to pick the one that someone else was obviously using as they had left their pram there. Was it in a particularly good spot or something? Her reaction however was completely over the top.

Behaviour not benefit

She might have seen your behaviour as passive aggressive, hence her response. It's a bit like asking a person on a train to move their bag so you can sit next to them, even though there are loads of spare seats.

YABU. You must have known that, if only subconsciously as you purposely sat on the bench with the pram. I’d have been annoyed if I was the woman too. Yes, technically it’s not her bench but clearly etiquette suggests you sit on another bench. No wonder the woman was talking about you. It seems unnecessarily mean and adversarial to do what you did.

I would have just presumed it was a convenient place for her to put the buggy on arrival, and then she’d gone off after her child, not that she’d purchased the land and now owned it and the bench!

She was U, don’t worry. Plus she could have shared. Or her friend could have saved the space if they were that bothered. People get up and move all the time on park benches (unless they are parents that never look/get up and check or play with their own kids once in a while). No one has a claim on it, especially with something placed next to it!

People take minor annoyances more poorly when they're low on sleep. She was probably just annoyed in the moment.

I don't understand why you had to share her bench instead of using a different one, that's really odd behaviour. Obviously you wouldn't expect her to sit there crammed in with your lot, so you think that you wanting to use the bench trumps her already sitting there.As others say, it's like sitting next to someone on an empty bus or in an empty restaurant. Were you trying to make some sort of obscure point that nobody else can understand? What was it?

Pram woman was a mardy arse.

Presumably you sat on the bench that was nearest to the equipment that your child was playing on? Entirely normal and acceptable.

I’m not sure how the other posters haven’t figured this out for themselves?

If all the benches were taken, fair enough. But as others said, it’s strange you would take the one bench with someone’s belongings on when there were others free. I would have presumed someone had dumped the pram to wrangle her toddler / family over so used another bench.

You did nothing wrong. So what if there was a pram near it.
Rude, entitled woman.

With nothing on the bench itself, I'd have assumed the pram was just there to be tucked out of the way. Wouldn't have occurred to me that it was bagsying the whole bench.

Reserving a bench isn’t a thing. However, cannot understand why you wouldn’t have chosen a bench without a pram by it. If there’s plenty free then no reason to share.

Yup 🙄

You haven't "figured it out" though, have you? You have merely made an assumption in the OP's favour in the absence of actual clarification.

Why did you choose the only bench with a pram next to it?! Plenty of space as you say odd thing for you to do!

I don’t think people are not figuring it out, it’s that we still don’t think it’s normal to sit at it if other people are using it which is obviously the case in this instance.

Was that the only bench in the shade?

@GiraffeLaSophie

No-one was SAT on the bench. Therefore, it wasn’t being used.

A pram happened to be placed to the side of the bench. So what?

If the bench was nearest to the play equipment that my child was on and someone was sat on the bench, I’d still sit on the bench assuming there was space.

It’s completely bizarre that people think they’re entitled to own the empty seats that are next to them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If there were plenty of benches why would you choose the one that someone clearly was planning on using?

Found the OP and she’s a train weirdo too.

People like to have space until they need to move up. It’s human nature.