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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That's my bench - was aibu

295 replies

Blueysmumagain · 17/07/2023 06:17

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 17/07/2023 07:08

Two sides if another free use that one, having said that no one’s owns a bench or a parking space outside a house.
Maybe she preferred that bench

Cadburyscreamegg · 17/07/2023 07:10

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/07/2023 06:30

When I'm on a bus and there are plenty of spare seats, it's weird when someone sits next to me. If it's crowded, it's not weird.

You were a bit weird.

Any reason you chose that one?

I had this same exact thought lol. I don't think she was the weird one , I don't understand why you would choose one with the pram sat next to it if there was plenty more empty.

Popworld · 17/07/2023 07:11

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/07/2023 06:30

When I'm on a bus and there are plenty of spare seats, it's weird when someone sits next to me. If it's crowded, it's not weird.

You were a bit weird.

Any reason you chose that one?

It was an empty bench . Why is it wierd to sit on a empty bench🥴

Peacoffee · 17/07/2023 07:11

Pram is the same as using a coat or bag.

Yeah just seems weird to say you wouldn’t sit there if it was a coat or a bag but to do it with a pram.

Megsh85 · 17/07/2023 07:12

Why do people do this? Sit next to you on the bus/in cinema/train/benches when there are loads of others free?’ I don’t get it. Why did you do that?

Peacoffee · 17/07/2023 07:12

Popworld · 17/07/2023 07:11

It was an empty bench . Why is it wierd to sit on a empty bench🥴

Show quote history

Someone’s belongings were right beside it which quite obviously suggests someone has been using it and had to get up for whatever reason. Maybe her child fell or wanted her to go watch something.
Its weird to sit there when there was no pressing need and lots of free tables.

Vallmo47 · 17/07/2023 07:13

She was rude but if there were many others I would have gone to one of them as obviously there was plenty of choice.

Popworld · 17/07/2023 07:14

Peacoffee · 17/07/2023 07:12

Someone’s belongings were right beside it which quite obviously suggests someone has been using it and had to get up for whatever reason. Maybe her child fell or wanted her to go watch something.
Its weird to sit there when there was no pressing need and lots of free tables.

Show quote history

Your right. Its a bit early . My apologies @MrsTerryPratchett

Amby1 · 17/07/2023 07:15

I think she overreacted, but why would you choose to sit at the bench with a pram next to it when others were free? I find people who do this sort of thing and encroach on the personal space and privacy really weird. It's like people who come and sit at the table next you in an empty restaurant...

AcrobaticCardigan · 17/07/2023 07:15

It’s very odd to have sat on a bench someone was clearly using when there were other free benches around.

Elbowsandknees · 17/07/2023 07:18

What everyone else said. The pram was the equivalent to leaving your coat on the seat in the cafe whilst you go to the loo. It was to let other people know someone was sitting there. I guess she preferred to have a more private conversation with her friend by not having other people sit right next to them.

There were other empty benches. You should have sat there.

GiraffeLaSophie · 17/07/2023 07:19

Why did you go and sit at a bench that was obviously being used by someone else when there were plenty of empty ones?

I wouldn’t have said anything to you, but I would have moved my pram and gone to sit somewhere else because I don’t want to share a bench with strangers when there are lots of other ones. Which is a fairly standard opinion, I think.

ItsMyUkelele · 17/07/2023 07:21

I'm assuming the OP sat at that bench because it was a 4 person bench and the other ones were smaller?

I think Pram Lady was a bit OTT.

Amby1 · 17/07/2023 07:24

Amby1 · 17/07/2023 07:15

I think she overreacted, but why would you choose to sit at the bench with a pram next to it when others were free? I find people who do this sort of thing and encroach on the personal space and privacy really weird. It's like people who come and sit at the table next you in an empty restaurant...

I've just reread this and realised I've missed words out, it's far too early for me to be typing.

Berklilly · 17/07/2023 07:29

You deliberately picked a bench that was being used. Just use any other free bench!

Our local playground only has 2 benches so of course I expect the share a bench, but if you don't have to, why would you try to force that...?

DoctorWoo · 17/07/2023 07:34

Were you trying to make a point?
I can't think of any other reason why you'd pick the one bench that someone else was clearly using, even if there still a little space left. Two groups of people wouldn't usually share a bench of loads of others are empty.

DoctorWoo · 17/07/2023 07:34

*if

Wigglywoman · 17/07/2023 07:39

Maybe she found it weird that 2 people sat on the bench with a pram rather than empty benches? It would have probably worried me a bit because I had PPA, and I would wonder why they wanted to be near my pram instead of on an empty bench?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2023 07:40

Berklilly · 17/07/2023 07:29

You deliberately picked a bench that was being used. Just use any other free bench!

Our local playground only has 2 benches so of course I expect the share a bench, but if you don't have to, why would you try to force that...?

It's not being used if it's empty and there's just a pram abandoned in the general direction of it.

If someone's playing with their kid, that's where they are, not using a bench.

mangochops · 17/07/2023 07:40

Why on earth would you choose to sit on a bench which obviously had people's belongings on it/near it when in your own words, there were plenty of other free benches available. Your behaviour was odd, her reaction was a bit OTT but I understand why tbh. Why crowd onto a single bench unnecessarily when others were available?

ThatFraggle · 17/07/2023 07:42

You're that person who parks next to me in an empty car park.

MNRando · 17/07/2023 07:43

Plenty of free benches, yet you chose the one someone was obviously going to return to with their children. Why?

Peacoffee · 17/07/2023 07:43

OP sounds like the sort of person to sit there just to make some sort of passive aggressive point.

Zonder · 17/07/2023 07:44

mnitg · 17/07/2023 06:22

If there were plenty of benches free why did you go to the one with a pram?

I'd not have said anything but would have thought it was odd.

This.

It's obvious if someone leaves a pram there that they were sitting there. I would have gone to one of the other empty benches. Odd to choose the one that was clearly occupied.

Having said that, she also overreacted if there were lots of benches.

Defiantjazz · 17/07/2023 07:45

If there were plenty of benches free why did you go to the one with a pram?

Yeah, I mean she over reacted but if there were plenty of benches free why’d you head for the one someone else laid claim to (rightly or wrongly) ?

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