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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About DH aversion to some foods

219 replies

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 19:59

DH has some foods he really hates, not just he doesn’t like eating it but can’t stand the smell or appearance or anything. Problem is they are fairly standard recipe sort of items so hard to totally avoid.

Hes just been making ugh disgusting type noises again.

I think it’s really rude and he should stop. But wondered what others think.

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 05/07/2023 21:26

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:12

I've tried all my life. I've never got over it. I do have ASD and adhd.

My parents were told by the gp to force feed me. So they did. I remember being held down and my mouth forced open and food rammed down my throat until I retched and wet myself. I would have been maybe 10 or 11 when that stopped. Not that it happened every day but it used to happen certainly once or twice a month. When I hadn't "behaved" and eaten what was put in front of me. Or when I'd made disgusting noises or a fuss about not eating something.

Oh gosh that's cruel.
What a horrible thing to put your child through.
Sorry for bringing that memory back, speluncean

jannier · 05/07/2023 21:26

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 20:14

Downstairs is open plan to hard to avoid.

Do all of you make these same noises involuntarily when eating out? I don’t wish to sound cynical but while the feeling may be involuntary the noises are not!

If he's gagging it's involuntary does he have any other issues

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:27

wildfirewonder · 05/07/2023 21:24

Pretty unpleasant for him if the house is open plan, as no way to get away.

What is the list of foods?

No way to get away? It’s food, not a serial killer.

Mushrooms. Fish. Eggs. Peppers. Garlic. Cream. There are more.

Tbf he normally doesn’t comment but lately has started to. It’s a pita.

OP posts:
ThatFraggle · 05/07/2023 21:28

How did you get past date 3?

Did you never go on a date in a restaurant (where others will be eating chicken, garlic)

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 05/07/2023 21:29

I'm like that with lamb. The gagging is involuntary. If I actually put it in my mouth I do get sick. But the smell is enough. Not a fan of the look of it either. I also can't eat something that's touching it because it catches the taste and then we go back to issue number 1.

As a result OH very rarely cooks it in the house, all doors and windows open and I get a warning beforehand. I still sometimes need to go sit in the garden until it's cleared out. And I do sometimes comment too not just make noises. Just like someone who is in pain might say fuck this hurts, rather than just moan. "Fuck me, that reeks!"

AutumnCrow · 05/07/2023 21:29

If he's got the ability to formulate and express comments and performance gag, he has the ability to remove himself.

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:30

@Bluetrews25 it wasn't their fault. They genuinely thought they were doing the right thing.

I remember being sent to bed with bread and butter. I'm coeliac and dairy intolerant. You can imagine how that went 😂.

I'm so glad things have moved on in terms of understanding of Neurodiversity

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/07/2023 21:30

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speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:31

I couldn't cope if someone was scrambling eggs in an open plan house. I would have a panic attack I think. I'd be in bits. It's making me panic even thinking about it

gamerchick · 05/07/2023 21:33

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:31

I couldn't cope if someone was scrambling eggs in an open plan house. I would have a panic attack I think. I'd be in bits. It's making me panic even thinking about it

Maybe you should hide the thread if you're triggered. It's easier than leaving the room even. You have some control believe it or not

MWNA · 05/07/2023 21:34

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:31

I couldn't cope if someone was scrambling eggs in an open plan house. I would have a panic attack I think. I'd be in bits. It's making me panic even thinking about it

Did you not see where she was pissed off with you earlier?
Why are you going on and on so much?

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:35

I am sorry. I was answering the points made.

I get it wrong all the bloody time.

AutisticLegoLover · 05/07/2023 21:36

@MWNA did you not see where are says she's has ASD and ADHD?

@speluncean I get you. Hide the thread for your own sanity Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 05/07/2023 21:38

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Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:38

I was very snappy @speluncean and I’m sorry for that but DH has annoyed me and TBH, voluntary or not it isn’t hard (surely) to realise someone gagging and all the rest of it around you is unpleasant? I was actually thinking tonight is this how some eating disorders start, with people being made to feel they are doing something wrong or bad by eating!

Anyway, I’m sorry for being a dick but you were ummm … no way to put this nicely, taking over the thread a little bit?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 05/07/2023 21:38

Time to have a chat with your bloke OP. Tell him it's time for seperate meals maybe and he can make and eat his own tea at a different time. For the sake of your marriage type of thing.

ttcat37 · 05/07/2023 21:39

Has he always been like this or is it a new thing? If a new think, perhaps he needs some sort of therapy? If he’s always been this way, surely you knew? Do you think he’s being genuinely disgusted or just being a fussy fucker?

I can’t stand the smell of beef at the moment (pregnant) so DH cooks it on the bbq. Might work for you?

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:39

I have actually said to him a version of my post above ^^ and he’s apologised so that’s a start. I’ve decided he’s still a twat though Grin

OP posts:
bonfirebash · 05/07/2023 21:41

I think it's fair enough if it's maybe one thing
I can't be near pistachios and I will throw up so they don't come in the house

But multiple things no, and even if you think ew then you shut up and be an adult especially around children because they're going to pick up on it. I worked with someone who was constantly fake retching over my food and commenting - stuff like feta, salad, raspberries until I told her to stop commenting or if it bothered her that much to leave the room as she was putting me off my food

My dad doesn't like peppers, but he just picks them out and puts them on the side

Clementineorsatsuma · 05/07/2023 21:41

Daffodil92 · 05/07/2023 20:43

And anyone in this thread who has “sensory issues” meaning they stand over someone cooking and go “urghhhh disgusting” needs to bloody grow up too.

But he doesn't. The OP used those words to describe the noises he makes.

MotherofGorgons · 05/07/2023 21:41

I couldn't put up with this. Life is too short.

speluncean · 05/07/2023 21:42

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:38

I was very snappy @speluncean and I’m sorry for that but DH has annoyed me and TBH, voluntary or not it isn’t hard (surely) to realise someone gagging and all the rest of it around you is unpleasant? I was actually thinking tonight is this how some eating disorders start, with people being made to feel they are doing something wrong or bad by eating!

Anyway, I’m sorry for being a dick but you were ummm … no way to put this nicely, taking over the thread a little bit?

I'm sorry @Hereinthismoment I'm autistic with multiple food aversions and issues and as a result food is one of my triggers and I reacted.

It may be that he can't help it and is similar to me and it would be worth exploring diagnosis in case that is indeed what it is

MWNA · 05/07/2023 21:43

AutisticLegoLover · 05/07/2023 21:36

@MWNA did you not see where are says she's has ASD and ADHD?

@speluncean I get you. Hide the thread for your own sanity Flowers

Irrelevant. She was being annoying.

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:44

Yeah - I have foods I don’t like, but seriously. I do wonder how some people go through life, as I bet they wouldn’t start ‘involuntarily’ retching if it was a Ronnie Kray equivalent munching on one of their hated foods!

OP posts:
wildfirewonder · 05/07/2023 21:44

Hereinthismoment · 05/07/2023 21:27

No way to get away? It’s food, not a serial killer.

Mushrooms. Fish. Eggs. Peppers. Garlic. Cream. There are more.

Tbf he normally doesn’t comment but lately has started to. It’s a pita.

What I mean is this would be less of an issue if you were cooking in a different room.

Some of those - fish and garlic - do smell quite strong.

It is hard to judge really because you come across as so arsey it is hard not to assume he is the injured party!