About DH aversion to some foods

[Hereinthismoment]

DH has some foods he really hates, not just he doesn’t like eating it but can’t stand the smell or appearance or anything. Problem is they are fairly standard recipe sort of items so hard to totally avoid.

Hes just been making ugh disgusting type noises again.

I think it’s really rude and he should stop. But wondered what others think.

If I was at work or in a restaurant and someone starts making sick noises or declaring how disgusting peoples food choices were it would put me right off eating.

I also have several food allergies. So people making ‘ugh that’s disgusting’ noises at the food I can eat would really piss me off.

So where do you go from there? If it were my dp I would be restricting my food. He would either have to find a way to cope or leave.

What are the foods?

I eat in different rooms to my triggers. I can't be in the same room as some of them.

I've always been like this and I'm so glad as an adult it's not acceptable to batter me for it like I was as a child.

Just give a few examples.

Oh my gosh this is me with mushrooms. The smell makes me physically feel ill, the look of them, just being in the same room as them cooking 😭

And anyone in this thread who has “sensory issues” meaning they stand over someone cooking and go “urghhhh disgusting” needs to bloody grow up too.

Where does the op say he stands over her?

I have ARFID so there is a lot of food I can’t tolerate but even I can put up with them being visible.

One food I absolutely cannot stand the smell or even the feel of is bananas. I still bought them for my kids and fed them to them when they were toddlers

I have aversions to foods and smells, but I take myself out of the situation, I don’t make a fuss 🤣

@Soubriquet I have some foods I can't even look at.

Everyone is different.

One food I absolutely cannot stand the smell or even the feel of is bananas. I still bought them for my kids and fed them to them when they were toddlers I had to have a procedure to look at my heart, it’s like an endoscopy but with a far bigger probe, it’s called a T.O.E. Anyway before you have it they give you a throat-numbing spray which makes you feel as if you can’t breathe. It tastes like banana. Last time I had a t.o.e. The lack of being able to breathe made my blood pressure drop and my heart rate rise and I ended up in ICU. Since then even the thought of bananas gives me a physical reaction. Fortunately I don’t have toddlers but if i did they would have to forego bananas in my presence.

My Df is like this re all vegetables. Fine he doesn’t like them but he comments every time “yuck, can’t believe you eat that…” yet dd doesn’t eat one type of meat through choice and he says we pander to her. We pander to him all the fucking time and dd eats everything I put on her plate apart from that meat (which she likes but chooses not to eat and has since age 4 - I respect her decision and she never expects us not to eat it).

I'm taking dm out for dinner as a birthday treat just us so she doesn’t have to tolerate DF’s ridiculous and embarrassing comments and lack of discretion about his fussy eating.

rant over.

There is never any need for performance gagging from one's own DP.

There are a number of other options available to the performance gagger that will remove themselves from the situation, involving the magic of self-removal.

Is it possible to do anything to get over these types of aversions, if they are so multiple that they are seriously restricting the diet? (Assuming someone wanted to get over it?)

While I was pregnant nobody even brought them into my house because they didn't want to distress me but even now I'm not pregnant any more and the smell still makes me sick. I can tolerate chicken but garlic is out and nobody uses it here because of that. Why would my loved ones want to see me retching from a smell

There are an awful lot of foods I don't like for smell/taste/sensory reasons.

I do not make noises when other people eat them

He needs to pack it in

I couldn't live with someone like this. I'm afraid we'd be incompatible.

How have you made it as far as you have in this relationship?

I've tried all my life. I've never got over it. I do have ASD and adhd.

My parents were told by the gp to force feed me. So they did. I remember being held down and my mouth forced open and food rammed down my throat until I retched and wet myself. I would have been maybe 10 or 11 when that stopped. Not that it happened every day but it used to happen certainly once or twice a month. When I hadn't "behaved" and eaten what was put in front of me. Or when I'd made disgusting noises or a fuss about not eating something.

Do you never eat out, @romdowa ? Not trying to give you a hard time here, I’m honestly wondering.

I have foods I dislike personally but I honestly have never made a big thing of other people eating them, and it is really unpleasant for the person who is eating. Hard to explain but it’s almost like you’re doing something wrong or revolting when you’re just eating. In turn, I think that once someone is self conscious and sort of feeling like they are doing something bad or wrong - and no matter how logically you know eating salmon or mushrooms or an egg or whatever is not someone making a drama makes you feel you are - it’s kind of hard to not have food issues yourself.

Yeah but @speluncean i have to be honest here, there’s a world of difference between that and gagging and making a big deal about someone else eating.

This may sound harsh but the world doesn’t revolve around those with food issues. I’d never make you eat a type of food but FFS let me eat them without the melodrama of the opera

I can't be in the room with scrambled eggs. I can tolerate boiled and fried. Poached is pushing it and scrambled is a hard no.

I can't stand mushrooms. I struggle in the supermarket I have to walk past and not look.

My house should be a safe space for me.

I would leave the room. I might - might - make an involuntary noise but I honestly can't help it. But I would leave the room.

I have safe restaurants I go to if I'm eating out. I like chain ones coz you know what is on the menu.

Pretty unpleasant for him if the house is open plan, as no way to get away.

What is the list of foods?

Ugh. Thanks for the heads up. I actually have an endoscopy booked in for the 19th and I’ve already decided to have the sedation. This just confirms my decision.