About DH aversion to some foods

[Hereinthismoment]

DH has some foods he really hates, not just he doesn’t like eating it but can’t stand the smell or appearance or anything. Problem is they are fairly standard recipe sort of items so hard to totally avoid.

Hes just been making ugh disgusting type noises again.

I think it’s really rude and he should stop. But wondered what others think.

This would be such a turn off for me.

My DH can be fussy but I told him to just pick whatever he doesn't like out and put it at the side of his plate and not make a big deal of it in front of the kids.

If your OH has such an extreme aversion then I'd suggest him doing all the cooking and meal planning.

If he is like me he genuinely would. I would. I can't help it.

I used to even when I knew what I'd get for doing it.

I’d have to eat his food all the time though! And this is it, I actually don’t like a lot of the foods he likes, I just don’t start commenting on how revolting they are (they aren’t tbf just not what I’d personally choose!)

You don't come across arsey. You come across as incompatible.

I feel for you Speluncean I'm not keen on being touched and my parents used to sit on me and hold me down to cut my nails and hair. It is traumatizing to be physically restrained.

OP I'm the fussiest of fussy fuckers. I know that some of my food preferences are utterly ludicrous. For example I can't eat certain colours of cheese. I can eat a poached egg but not scrambled. Strawberries yes, strawberry flavoured things, god no. The list goes go.

However I do think your husband is completely unreasonable. He just needs to absent himself if you are cooking something he doesn't like. Have you told him how annoying he is being?

Is it the smell of the specific foods cooking that he objects to, which might be fair enough if there is a strong fishy smell, for example? Or does he just react to the very idea of them being in the house or seeing you eating them? In which case he is being a dick about it.

If it is the smell, can you get a stronger extractor fan or do anything else to make it less offensive for him?

DD when she was younger had sensory issues including a very strong aversion to the smell of cheese and eggs, to the point of retching or sometimes vomiting, so I avoided cooking strong-smelling cheesy things and so on while she was around. She has now grown up a bit and works in restaurants so has had to become more tolerant.

Tad extreme. I know LTB is common on here but if I did so every time any of the human race irritated me I would live the life of a hermit.

I would never marry anyone who didn't like garlic or spicy, herby foods. I would truly be incompatible because that's all I eat. This opera would drive me mad. But then I don't like drama.

It's interesting isn't it? I have strong aversions, one in particular. I can't eat my food if someone else is eating this item as I get my wires crossed neurologically and feel as though I'm eating the despised item myself. It's like synaesthesia. My food smells and tastes and has a texture like yours.

I'd leave the staff room. I can just about cope of the room is a reasonable size and I'm not eating myself. I'd struggle if someone ate it in the car with me, though.

I've never made noises or said anything around someone who's eating.

I think he can probably choose to control it but relaxes because it's his home.

Probably a bit more dramatic to divorce someone for a one off row than to make the noises in the first place, though!

Why don't you develop a loud aversion to his food?

Yep.
There is one food that DH likes that makes me feel ill. It’s the smell of it cooking which is very strong. Occasionally he cooks it for himself and I just stay away. I wouldn’t dream of making a fool of myself by making noises or saying his food is disgusting.

Yeah, do it back to him, the fucking arse.

Making noises or in any other way implying that someone else’s food is disgusting is downright rude. It’s totally avoidable by him absenting himself from the cooking area. I’d suggest he is assessed for a sensory processing disorder if the aversion is so strong he can’t control his responses, because I don’t believe that’s normal in a neurotypical adult.

My friend does she's physically sick it extends to seeing children put sand or playdo in their mouths as well as foods she can't tolerate

Leave the bastard then date a competitive eater.

What a load of ableist shite.

Because everyone else likes it, they are common, standard recipe ingredients, and he could cook something different for himself if he wanted to? Jeez.

I see that Mumsnet has immediately diagnosed him with a condition based on a single behaviour without ever having met him.

OP, if he's repulsed by perfectly ordinary ingredients that crop up in a lot of recipes, then he needs to leave the room instead of gagging and making noises. He's being rude and childish. I appreciate that he can't help finding things gross, but I would be irritated by his insistence on vocalising that too.

One of my nieces eats a very limited number of things because she has a fear of certain foods, which she can't help. She's an adult now but when she was in her teens she would invariably pull faces and say 'Ewww' or make gagging noises at things other people were eating (which her mother also does) but her dad and my parents made it clear that it was rude and off-putting for other people and that she needed to stop. Which she did. She still has major issues with food, and will sometimes just go and sit somewhere else while other people are eating if it's really bothering her, which of course is absolutely fine. Nobody wants her to feel she has to sit there feeling anxious and revolted, poor girl.

Again, I ask, did you never go on a restaurant date with him?

Or when you suggested 'Let's meet at the Stag' and he said, 'I can't be around chicken, or garlic or mushrooms or cream.' you still decided, 'let me continue to date this guy?'

I do. I try really hard not to but I do.

If you can't stop yourself from gagging and vocalising your disgust in restaurants while other people are eating, then I would say that perhaps restaurants are not the right environment for you?

It's incredibly rude to negatively comment on someone else's food, or make childish noises. I wouldn't put up with that in my home.

Every time a woman expects any kind of normal life on MN, she is castigated as ableist and forced into a support animal role.

One golden rule of MN: if any post mentions GDPR, safeguarding, or ableism, it's probably bollocks.

Fil once microwaved kippers when he was staying. I had to leave the house after chucking up. I'll unfortunately never go back to Portugal because of the smell of sardines. I cannot stomach it. Also sunflower oil used
For frying.

DH wouldn't cook them in the house and neither would I if it was the other way round.

I think it's hard to understand an aversion to a dislike of you don't have any.