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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you date a Met detective?

285 replies

singleforareason · 04/06/2023 22:29

A quick poll. I suspect I’m being a little unreasonable. Not that I assume the toxic culture of someone’s workplace is any indication of their individual character but from Stephen Lawrence to Bibaa Henry, Nicole Smallman and Sarah Everard would anyone not see this job as a red flag?

OP posts:
OneTC · 04/06/2023 22:30

No I wouldn't

Chowtime · 04/06/2023 22:30

Sure, if they were a nice person I'd date them.

SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 04/06/2023 22:33

If I liked them I'd give them the same chance as anyone else.

CrapBucket · 04/06/2023 22:34

Having been married to a police officer I’d give the whole lot of them a very wide berth tbh

itwasntmetho · 04/06/2023 22:34

no.

Stratocumulus · 04/06/2023 22:34

I’d take it really slow.
Id have my antennae up.
Id be I’m my guard & would be inclined to do some research.
I’d be doing all this regardless of his occupation,
Im a cautious type. 🙄

SundayFundayz · 04/06/2023 22:35

I’m married to one.
He could do better at housework but all in all he’s a pretty decent bloke and certainly not a racist/misogynistic murderer (as far as I’m aware. Sure I would have noticed at some point in the last 20 years).

OnMyWayToSenility · 04/06/2023 22:35

ABSOLUTELY NOT

flyingtherag · 04/06/2023 22:35

I’d like to say no. I’ve had very poor interactions with police and have lost more trust as I’ve got older.

QueenOfHiraeth · 04/06/2023 22:35

Met detectives are like any other group of people, there's good and bad in there so, unless you have concerns that this person is a bad'un, why not?

MaryPoppinPills · 04/06/2023 22:37

Not a chance. Been there done that.
Little tip when they say "I know the met have a bad rep but I'm not like that" they are.

SixKeys · 04/06/2023 22:37

I wouldn't date a police officer full stop.

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 04/06/2023 22:37

CrapBucket · 04/06/2023 22:34

Having been married to a police officer I’d give the whole lot of them a very wide berth tbh

Snap!

ScatsThat · 04/06/2023 22:38

Impossible to generalise. It's like saying would you date someone with size 10 feet or would you date someone who supported Sheffield Wednesday. Being a police officer doesn't automatically make someone a good or a bad partner.

Fairislefandango · 04/06/2023 22:38

I wouldn't date a police officer full stop.

Me neither. Or anyone in the armed forces.

AssertiveGertrude · 04/06/2023 22:38

No

YukoandHiro · 04/06/2023 22:39

I'd go on a couple of dates but I'd be on very high alert for red flags and I'd ask them quite a lot about work to assess how they spoke about the job/their colleagues and make my judgement from that

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/06/2023 22:39

Absolutely not.

OKwhatsNext · 04/06/2023 22:40

Yes I would if I felt something. I don't think you can generalise tbh and it would be a shame to miss out based on reputation. But all you can do is go with your gut.

flyingtherag · 04/06/2023 22:41

ScatsThat · 04/06/2023 22:38

Impossible to generalise. It's like saying would you date someone with size 10 feet or would you date someone who supported Sheffield Wednesday. Being a police officer doesn't automatically make someone a good or a bad partner.

I don’t think this is a fair comparison though. The police are trained and work in a certain way.

we’ve found out they’re an internally toxic bunch. Their values aren’t what we expect in the police.

also they’re notorious for having affairs!

Goldrushed · 04/06/2023 22:41

Not a chance. I wouldn't date anyone in the police. Putting aside the high risk that they were a wrongun, our views and values would almost certainly not be aligned.

Flymetothetoon · 04/06/2023 22:43

Well judging by the coppers of both sexes in the south west it would be a hard no - but that's simply because I want to take them by the hand and ask them if they've lost their mum.

WomanFromTheNorth · 04/06/2023 22:44

Nope

KidneyWarrior · 04/06/2023 22:45

Double snap.

Original poster
singleforareason · 04/06/2023 22:45

People with size ten feet are not linked with perpetrating domestic violence in the same way as male police officers (and men in the armed services) or are they?

OP posts: