Would you date a Met detective?

[singleforareason]

A quick poll. I suspect I’m being a little unreasonable. Not that I assume the toxic culture of someone’s workplace is any indication of their individual character but from Stephen Lawrence to Bibaa Henry, Nicole Smallman and Sarah Everard would anyone not see this job as a red flag?

Well this is depressing! My wonderful, kind, hard working and incredibly moral daughter is a Met Detective!

Yeah i'd date him, but not look to settle down.

I doubt it.
I have known 3 people married to coppers. Everyone of them ended in divorce due to said copper shagging a colleague. Could be coincidence of course.

I should have specified male met detective. I wouldn’t have the same qualms about a female officer.

Foot size and what football team someone supports are an accident of genetics or geography.

Different personality types are attracted to different jobs. So people in some jobs for example are more likely to be extroverts or to have attention to detail. Or be violent misogynists

So not really the same

I've no doubt there are some good people but likely the minority based on personal experience and high profile stories. I would never take the risk.

What a ridiculous post . Total contradiction in your OP 'Not that I assume the toxic culture of someone’s workplace is any indication of their individual character '- well it clearly is ,By the sheer fact you have created this post!

The female Met detectives aren’t the ones flashing, raping, beating, and murdering people. Surely she feels as bad as anyone about the disgraceful, disgusting behaviour that’s been going on.

Me neither.

This.
Armed forces would be an instant (polite) no.

Actually not dating a police officer and not dating a football fan are both valid.

Police officers are known for higher rates of domestic violence. There is a known link between a football team losing and a higher rate of domestic violence. Both are fair choices (especially given how often sheffield Wednesday lose....)

Whilst being a police officer or a football fan (and I mean the sort of football fan who is so passionate that he gets upset enough that he might have to beat women up to feel better as opposed to someone who casually follows a team) doesnt mean they are going to abuse you, abuse rates are high. Why not avoid those who are higher risk?

When the only thing that really keeps a women safe in a hetrosexual marriage is the morals and temper of the man they are married to, its completely reasonable to go for a lower risk option.

This also

Yes if I liked them

Apologies for the lack of clarity in the first post.

While I’m confident there are individual exceptions, I don’t know if I would personally take the risk or not. Is that unreasonable? I thought it probably was but was interested to hear how others felt about it.

Ive dated a few officers over time and I knew a lot via my job. Almost all were cheaters or nutters. Id never date a copper or a fireman ( too much time on their hands so become nutters )

Nah. I'm not into men in a uniform.

It's not just the racist misogynist murderers amongst them though, it's all the seemingly "good men" who help cover up all their mates' misdeeds.

Why not?

Totally agree. I don't think every nurse has Beverley Allit tendencies or every doctor Harold Shipman. I know some amazing police officers who genuinely want to make a difference but equally I'm aware there are or have been some wrong uns. My own father was in a similar role and I am in awe of how brave these people are. They literally are the folk running towards the danger when we're all running the other way. There are racist, misogynistic and murdering bastards in every profession so if I was yfs I wouldn't rule out dating a police officer even an mpo.

I'm married to one and I thank my lucky stars every day that I found him and didn't have to date all of the other awful men that get mentioned on this site.

You know who I wouldn't date though? A man that likes / watches / enjoys football. The DV stats associated with those guys....

Nope. Not a chance. Never met a copper who hasn't cheated.

I just wouldn't dare a cop full stop.

The long hours, shift patterns, compassion fatigue, close working relations, high percentage of affairs within police force workplace. Even when they don't have affairs, the job becomes the other woman as the force will expect so much from them.

I think I would quite like to know their stance on the recent findings and the news stories you mention. How do they put up with that culture?

I wouldn't date a man that didn't like/watch etc football. Because I really love football.

Because as a black woman with black brothers and a black father who have all been discriminated against by the police I just wouldn't go there.