Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

[DancingWithMashedPotato]

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

I'm an Irish woman, a couple of generations ago in our communities it was common place to hush victims and carry on supporting paedophiles, minimise their crimes and keep it 'in the family' so based on that id absolutely disown anyone for this because I know the stories of the victims an the hurt it causes to see perpetrators supported. Have a look at your own reasoning on why you'd support someone who sexually assaulted a child. Really think about what that means about that person. I wouldn't make a public stand but I'd quietly disown them and mourn the sibling I thought I had.

I don’t live by the saying blood is thicker than water. I have no contact with my parents or sibling.

I’d cut anyone out of my life if they abused children.

In PSs cases, it’s for PR. He’s a hypocrite.

I would disown a rapist or paedophile without a second thought.

I don't think the relationship between siblings is based on unconditional love, really. I think the only person I could never totally cut off, no matter what, would be my own child.

Could not agree more.

TM gets more sordid by the week.

These threads have been extremely illuminating on what was always a puzzle to me.

Says someone trying to save his career

I absolutely know without doubt I'd disown / cut off contact with any family member who sexually abused a child.
I wouldn't want to breath the same air as them by being in a room with them.

I can't see how he can stand there and say that with a straight face. It is common knowledge what he's done with the runner(s) on this morning and a whole lot more that hasn't made the mainstream press. People in glass houses indeed. I'm actually shocked he's made a statement as it makes it a lot likelier people may talk publicly about him!

Unfortunately it has happened to some of us.

Think about it. How do you sit and have a catch up with a convicted rapist or peadophile and ignore what they did?

How do you check in on them, invite them to family events? When most of the time they will actually be banned from attending events with kids. Or most other family members refuse to attend if they are there.

How do you show concerned for someone who showed so little regard for another human being and pretend it didn’t happen, so you can maintain a relationship. How do you protect your kids or grandchildren? How do you ensure other family members are not at an increased risk.

You can’t. If you have no relationship with them you have cut them off.

There isn't a single person in my life I wouldn't cut off for sexual abuse. Parents, siblings, husband, the lot. You seem to be drawing a distinction between cut off and disown, to me they are exactly the same thing.

Well that is one very black pot isn’t it!

What his brother has done is disgusting. But personally - I’m prepared to be flamed - I don’t base my love and support on wether my family members always behave themselves. Especially if I myself was not very good at behaving.

I have disowned the family members who raped and abused me regularly as a child. While other family members claim to have done the same in support of me, I'm not sure if they would actually tuen them away if they were approached by them. It makes me sad that those who didn't protect me as a child may not put me first even now.

Mine would be a gonner!

Is there any of PS family who he won't throw under the bus for the sake of his career?

Um...Matthew McGreevy anyone?

I completely agree with Philip Schofield in these circumstances. I would also not care how deep it cut the perpetrator.

This will go ‘poof’

I know

Having worked in showbiz circles in another life, I'd put money on PS being told by his advisors that he had to make a public statement saying he was severing ties but behind the scenes it will be a different matter. They're close, his brother knows everything about him, cutting him loose would be too risky.

His brother will shortly be disowning him.

Oh indeed. I wonder if Philip's brother will disown him one day?

One of my bil’s brothers is a nonce. His mum never mentions him or goes to see him at his majesties pleasure, but don’t know if she has completely disowned him as it’s never talked about. The sister seems to still support him, but my bil and one of his other brothers have completely disowned him.
I’d disown a family member who was as well. I’ve seen how much damage it does not only to the victims but their own family dealing with the fallout and shame.

This.

Hes an insincere twat

I was 14 or 15 when a dear family friend told me she had been sexually abused by her stepfather - and that her mother knew about it and did nothing to stop it. I stopped speaking to her mother right then, refused to be in the same room as her. Her stepfather had died by that time, which was maybe why she felt safe talking about it.

my friend was then in her early 30s. 40 years later, she told me that her maternal uncle had also abused her. She hadn’t been able to talk about it until then.

my friend has suffered terribly with depression and PTSD. She is one of the loveliest, funniest and most supportive people you could ever meet, but her life was irretrievably altered by these two men.

so yes, even as a teen, I knew that some things are unforgivable. And this was in the 1970s when child sexual abuse was not spoken about publically.

I was in Those Shoes.
Very easy to say in principle what you would do.
Irl it was me that rang the police.
Me that told the police what my dc had allegedly done - though no doubt in my mind every word the accuser told me was true..
Me that watched as the officers tore our family apart forever as they took my dc to the police car.
Me that lives every day half a life now..
Imo not even worth mentally playing out the scenario.
Irl the horror is unimaginable..