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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

522 replies

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:38

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

OP posts:
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5
ParagraphOne · 03/04/2023 17:40

I'd disown a paedophile.

TrashyPanda · 03/04/2023 17:41

@ParagraphOne

Or a rapist
or a murderer

Coffeeandchocs · 03/04/2023 17:42

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Americano75 · 03/04/2023 17:43

I'm sure salvaging his career wasn't a motivating factor at all.

Blistory · 03/04/2023 17:43

It's for show.

He knew what his brother had done and didn't disown him. Now that it's public knowledge, he changes his tune.

Funny that.

WheelsUp · 03/04/2023 17:43

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Absolutely this ^^

retrosteamband · 03/04/2023 17:43

My own brother is horrific and regularly posts misogynistic shit on social media, he flits between posting about prostitutes he’s used or asking women publicly for sex…to laughing at Me Too/rape victims. I have personally cut him off for that, let alone anything further. Though I wouldn’t put it past him to do anything further

MoonOverBroadway · 03/04/2023 17:45

My cousin sexually abused another one of my cousins when she was a child (I believed her regardless, but he was convicted and served time for it).

I have never spoken to him again, and never will. He is dead to me. No brainer.

unclebuck · 03/04/2023 17:46

So, the great distancing begins. It is surprising he choses now to disown him rather than when he discovered he was a predator - he has chosen when we FIND OUT about it.
Philip Schofield defended Jimmy Savile way beyond any reasonableness and will be receiving very very expensive legal advice.
I wonder what he will be doing next? Ditching his wife and finding an age appropriate long term male 'partner' is my bet. Someone in academia, a DR, a Lawyer, in his 50s.

gogohmm · 03/04/2023 17:47

He can't win, if he had said, he's still my brother, he'd be criticised for that. I don't think i could have a relationship of any kind with someone who has committed such an offence either

AuntieMarys · 03/04/2023 17:47

I would disown members of my family for that. Including my son

Boogismyname · 03/04/2023 17:47

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Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:47

retrosteamband · 03/04/2023 17:43

My own brother is horrific and regularly posts misogynistic shit on social media, he flits between posting about prostitutes he’s used or asking women publicly for sex…to laughing at Me Too/rape victims. I have personally cut him off for that, let alone anything further. Though I wouldn’t put it past him to do anything further

I could see myself cut off my brother's for that. But I don't think I could completely disown? I mean, I'd stop speaking, let them know I cant/wont continue to communicate with them. But ultimately, I'd still see them as my sibling and if they ever needed me, Id b there. I think there's a difference between cutting off/going NC, and saying you no longer have a brother(?)

OP posts:
Coffeeandchocs · 03/04/2023 17:48

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This is what I was alluding to but now you’ve stated it all the thread will probably be deleted soon.

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 03/04/2023 17:48

It's one of those questions I genuinely can't answer hypothetically. It would depend who the family member was and the exact circumstances of what they'd done.

Tomkirkman · 03/04/2023 17:48

I used to think that. When a family member of yours does commit a disgusting sexual offence, you may find you change your mind.

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:48

I disowned my brother for less. Were I to discover he was also a paedophile, I'd shop him to the police if they didn't know and at the very least disown him if they did.

Redshoeblueshoe · 03/04/2023 17:49

I think he only said it to save his career

Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:49

AuntieMarys · 03/04/2023 17:47

I would disown members of my family for that. Including my son

Wow. Would you? Ok, I mean I totally understand why. But I can't imagine disowning my son. But maybe I would.

OP posts:
Redannie118 · 03/04/2023 17:50

My brother is a clinically diagnosed psychopath. Defrauded my dying father to the tune of 20 thousand pound. Never sees his kids. Threatened his wife with a knife and headbutted her in the street. Abuses the whole family and if anyone pulls him on it, threatens suicide. I cut him and my narc mum ( who defends every single thing he does- when he threatened his wife with a knife it was because she was always nagging him !) Saying you couldnt ever disown a family member who did something awful is a cause for concern OP.

Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:51

Tomkirkman · 03/04/2023 17:48

I used to think that. When a family member of yours does commit a disgusting sexual offence, you may find you change your mind.

Interesting. I did wonder if what I think would actually be a reality if it actually happened. I hope it never does

OP posts:
readbooksdrinktea · 03/04/2023 17:52

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Definitely agree with this.

Yepanothernamechange · 03/04/2023 17:53

Yep I would do the same. I have a ex cousin that's a convicted nonce and I wouldn't acknowledge him in the street or piss on him if he was on fire. I think Schofield is probably thinking more about his career her than the child involved. As people have alluded to - not so squeaky clean himself. Grubby grubby grubby

WheelsUp · 03/04/2023 17:53

I find it shocking that there's nothing that would make you disown a sibling. There are some really nasty pieces of work out there like the person who's been sent down today for killing a NINE year old over gang crap. I could
not "be there" for someone who knowingly inflicted such pain and suffering on an innocent.

Unsure33 · 03/04/2023 17:54

unclebuck · 03/04/2023 17:46

So, the great distancing begins. It is surprising he choses now to disown him rather than when he discovered he was a predator - he has chosen when we FIND OUT about it.
Philip Schofield defended Jimmy Savile way beyond any reasonableness and will be receiving very very expensive legal advice.
I wonder what he will be doing next? Ditching his wife and finding an age appropriate long term male 'partner' is my bet. Someone in academia, a DR, a Lawyer, in his 50s.

This . Why did he not disown him in 2021

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