Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

[DancingWithMashedPotato]

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

If you would defend and explore that - the exploitation of children - CHILDREN - then in my eyes you are just that - scum and enablers.

I think there would have to be mitigating circumstances for a serious crime to not destroy my relationship with someone.

With something like murder, there could be a set of circumstances where it was self-defence.

I can't think of a scenario where child abuse is less awful than it is. So, disown.

I’m feeling really unsettled about it all, cannot believe they’d let him return to tv after this.
Does anyone also find if really odd that both brothers share similarities in this, I’m wondering what they’re upbringing was like

*Their

These kinds of online child sex offenses are not victimless like the criminals and their families like to think. At some point in the chain, a child is being abused. Yes, the criminal has not always produced the images but they enjoy and share them. Without demand, there is no need to circulate images. Your brother is more complicit in that respect then you realise.

Is it ok as long as it's not your children or when it's some foreign kid? If the crime were different, if it were your child, would you have still forgiven him then? If not, why would you be happy to be living in a bubble trying to understand someone who has been involved in causing such trauma for a child for the rest of their lives?

I agree.

I think a lot of people on this thread have not read my posts. Or maybe haven't understood what I've said or have missed bits. So just to reiterate what I have said multiple times already ...

1. I think serious crimes are extremely bad. I think child abuse is horrendous, sickening and deplorable.

1. I would never ever condone any serious crime. Ever.

1. If anyone commits a serious crime, they deserve the consequences in my opinion.

1. If a sibling or child of mine committed a serious crime I would want them to face the consequences. I would want them to go to prison. I would never want them around my children. I would feel angry, sickened, confused, upset and a wide range of other emotions

1. If a sibling committed a serious crime, I do not know how I'd react but think I would not disown them. I think I'd probably visit them in prison. BUT I don't know this. It's hypothetical and never happened and I may very well disown them if it actually happened. I don't know. I don't think anyone knows really.

1. Not completely disowning someone and visiting them occasionally in prison is very very different from inviting them round for a BBQ with the kids. Of course I would never do the latter. I am definitely not saying I'd have them anywhere near my children. I am saying I would possibly not disown them and that would likely look like me visiting them, occasionally, on my own, in prison or their own flat somewhere far away from my kids.

1. A poster asked if I'd disown my own son if they committed a crime against their sibling. This is a v v tough question, horrible to think about, and most parents would find this hard to think about. I don't think I could completely disown a child of mine. However, if my other child wished me never to have contact with the perpetrator child, then I would respect that and not have contact with the perpetrator. However, I think I'd find that hard. I would want want (I think, but I don't know) to occasionally visit the perpetrator child in prison. Because they are my child. But I get how complex this is, and if my other child didn't want me to do this I'd not keep contact with the perpetrator child. (But this all hypothetical and unless it happens I don't think we really know what we'd do).

1. A poster asked if I'd disown a sibling that abused my child. I initially said I think I wouldn't disown them. On reflection I changed my mind and said I think I would disown them. Thinking about this question to be honest made me feel quite ill. It's not something a person normally thinks about and I think the situation would be horrendous and I would be completely devastated and thinking of it has just completely fried my brain.

1. I would never ever cover up abuse in the family or anywhere. I'd never make a relative have any contact with a known abuser. I'd never encourage someone to keep abuse secret. All perpetrators need to be held to account, and face the consequences. All victims deserve to be protected, believed and not silenced. I've never said anything to the contrary.

10. Saying that I would not completely disown a sibling that committed a serious crime, and that I might visit them in prison, does not make me any of the sick or dangerous things I've been called. I don't even know this is how I'd act. Maybe I would disown them. Disowning someone is not some great indicator of virtue. There is no reason to hate me, be scared of me or see me as a threat. I am simply saying I don't think I could completely disown a sibling that committed a serious crime, but that I don't know because it's never happened and hopefully never will. Obviously serious crime is a broad category and there may be some crimes where I would disown a sibling or child. I just don't know. I don't know where the line is for me and hopefully I'll never have to find out.

And if you can attack someone you've met, and call them scum and a danger to society without understanding or fully reading what they've actually said, then you are not really a particularly nice person either. I am no danger. There is not one single dangerous bone in my body. In fact, if you were in danger I am probably the kind of person you'd want around. You don't know anything about me or what I'm like.

you've never* met...

@DancingWithMashedPotato Come back to us when it has happened to you. Because it is horrific beyond words and I know first hand. 'Oh I don't know what I'd do' attitude. You should know what you should do, but you don't. You don't know what you're talking about. I lost ALL my family to this situation so I frankly don't care care whether you think I'm a nice person or not. If you're on the fence you're defending them. It isn't acceptable. IMO.

I am not defending anyone ILoveMontyDon. I have stated multiple times that serious crime is horrendous and deplorable. That perpetrators should be punished. I've never said anything other than that. I am sorry this happened to you.

@DancingWithMashedPotato I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. I didn't mean to over-react but just a super triggering topic. Too many people defend the criminals. In my family's case, even after my cousin went on to abuse 7 other girls and was 'done' for mugging, the wider family refused to believe it. It was awful -it still is, so personal experience made me react like I did. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it - still so raw.

I have a friend who disowned a parent due to child sex offenses. I only know as she told me one night while drunk. She doesn't care if/when the parent dies. As far as she is concerned she has 1 parent as her mum divorced him almost immediately after it came out.

I'm really sorry that happened to you ILoveMontyDon. I hope you are getting some support. I know it's a triggering topic. I've triggered a few people.i think today, including myself. It's a topic a lot of people understandably have strong feelings about and I'm sorry if any of my views offend you or the topic itself has triggered you. I'm so so sorry for what's happened to you and your family's refusal to believe it. That must be horrendous. 💐💐

PS knew exactly what his brother had done for a while, since he'd confided in him. Yet he only disowns him now, after he's been convicted. The only reason he's doing it now is because the media are putting pressure on his job.

And I really don't get this part of PS's statement: “If any crime had ever been confessed to me by my brother, I would have acted immediately to protect the victim and their family." He knew full well what his brother had done and that it was illegal. If the victim hadn't come forward and reported TS then none of this would have ever come to light - PS had obviously decided to keep quiet about what he knew. He made the decision to cover for his brother, but has turned against him because it's affecting his career. I really do think PS should fall from grace over this - he was covering for a child sex offender.

It sounds like TS has lived in his big brother's shadow ever since he got that job in the broom cupboard years ago. So it's slightly ironic that this case has only had so much publicity because of who his brother is. There are far worse cases reported on by local media every week, but they almost never make the national press.

The case was sub judice, prohibiting public comment while it was ongoing, so PS couldn’t have publicly disowned him or otherwise in that time. And I took PS’s statement “If any crime had ever been confessed to me by my brother, I would have acted immediately to protect the victim and their family." to mean that he was aware of the relationship but not aware that the boy was under age. He has stated elsewhere I think, that his brother said the boy was over 16.

I feel this is the tip of a very large iceberg that is going to rear its ugly head...Ps brother,a civillian police worker ? The stage school that disappeared...more and more loud whispers. Mark my words this is going to get very ugly very fast.

@turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly But doesn’t he pay people a fortune to hide all that stuff…? It has to come out

I find it interesting that people are saying that Schofield wouldn’t know where to report that a 50 year old was abusing a 16 year old. It’s as if he wasn’t working for CBBC when Childline was launched and hasn’t done hundreds of segments with child psychologists or members of the NSPCC about child grooming and who to contact if concerned about situations like this over the years. He’s also a Prince’s trust youth ambassador. He even demanded that David Cameron investigate a list of Tory MP’s who it was rumoured to be doing exactly what his brother had just confessed to.
He will have numerous professional and personal contacts to go to who would quietly advise him as to who to contact in this situation and not one of them if half-decent at their jobs would ever shrug their shoulders and say, ‘oh well he’s 16 nothing to see here’ as everybody knows that these type of men minimise their actions constantly. If confessing to doing that with a 16 year old, it is obvious that something worse might have happened and that needs to be checked out especially as his brother worked for the police and therefore likely included in the long list of people for whom sexual activity with anyone in full time education is against the law.

When you say your sibling would still be your brother have you thought that you might not want them to be. These are the feelings my partner has. He hated that he was still related to him. He felt that it tarnished him too. That people would think he was a peado too. He had guilt as if he was somehow involved even though it had nothing to do with him.

@DancingWithMashedPotato I would think your experience of abuse may also affect your response on an unconscious level.

I know someone who knows someone at a tabloid and let’s just say P.Scho himself isn’t (allegedly) all that squeaky clean.

@sellotape12 No shit 😂

@sellotape12 yeh right! If it was a British tabloid, and was true it would be on the front page! You really think the tabloids hold back? Ha ha ha!

@OnedayIwillfeelfree Eh?