AIBU?
How do some intelligent men not fucking get it??
Ishefuckingkiddingme · 19/03/2023 11:52
DH is an intelligent human being. How is it that any intelligent human being has managed to fuck Mother’s Day up to this extent?
A few weeks ago, he asked me what I want to do for Mother’s Day. I said I’d like a day to relax, maybe lunch or afternoon tea with my DM or something like that. He said everything would be booked up and overpriced on mothers day so that was a clear no.
This morning at 6.30, DS wanted a toy that was left in the car and I asked DH to get it, he responded with “why is that my responsibility?”. No card, no cup of tea, no breakfast in bed - nothing. Every Sunday we do a dog walk and go to a cafe. Cafe opens at 8 but is heaving by 9 so DH is then hurrying me along to be out of the house early. In the cafe, DH goes to save a table and I go to order wrangling DS. DH and I order the same thing but they only have one left so I order something else for one of us - I tell him that and he makes no offer for me to have the thing we both originally wanted. He then tucks in and I manage DS and DD - by the time he’s finished, I’ve barely touched mine so he had over half of my food too. DS then sees something outside and runs over to the window, I go to retrieve him and when I get back, DH tells me that he’s had to get up to deal with DD “because she was so sad” and I wasn’t dealing with it (because I was on the other side of the room with DS!!). He’s purchased a book off Amazon that you’re supposed to gap fill with phrases like “I love my mummy because ” but he hasn’t filled it out. No card, no flowers, no dinner cooked, nothing. …and he’s just told me he thinks I should go to the gym. How hard is it for an intelligent, decent person to buy a bunch of flowers, fill out a card, make a cup of tea and not criticise me for one bloody day of the year?!
Happy Fucking Mother’s Day everyone!
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
DismantledKing · 19/03/2023 11:53
Well, he might be intelligent but he also sounds thoughtless.
Naunet · 19/03/2023 11:54
It’s nothing to do with intelligence OP, it’s that he doesn’t care, you’re not important enough to him.
Paturday · 19/03/2023 11:55
He doesn’t appear to be very intelligent. Why are you saying he’s intelligent? His EQ is on the floor, clearly.
Sorry you’re having a shit day!
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 11:56
Did he forget it's today? It's early this year and I noticed in a lot of shops they were selling the cards etc under the signs that say 'Mother's Day" but none of the signage actually had the date on.
CrapBucket · 19/03/2023 11:56
I have a part time cafe job and I see this endlessly. I always want to tell the dads to fucking well step up. But I also want to keep my job!
So many shite men out there. Its not good enough.
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 11:56
Why have you used the word decent to describe him?
If he parents this shit the rest of the time it would piss me off more if he nailed it on mother's day as at least then he would show he is capable.
Is this his standard level of parenting/husbanding?
determinedtomakethiswork · 19/03/2023 11:57
Clever is not equivalent to kind or thoughtful. You are married to a complete prick, that's the problem.
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 11:57
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 11:56
Did he forget it's today? It's early this year and I noticed in a lot of shops they were selling the cards etc under the signs that say 'Mother's Day" but none of the signage actually had the date on.
Gosh, yes, and without dated signs, how can we possible find any information?
DismantledKing · 19/03/2023 11:58
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 11:57
Gosh, yes, and without dated signs, how can we possible find any information?
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 11:56
Did he forget it's today? It's early this year and I noticed in a lot of shops they were selling the cards etc under the signs that say 'Mother's Day" but none of the signage actually had the date on.
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Ishefuckingkiddingme · 19/03/2023 11:59
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 11:56
Did he forget it's today? It's early this year and I noticed in a lot of shops they were selling the cards etc under the signs that say 'Mother's Day" but none of the signage actually had the date on.
Definitely didn’t forget because we saw my DM yesterday and I gave her flowers and chocolate and cards and things from DD and DS etc. So, no chance he’s forgotten unfortunately.
Purplecatshopaholic · 19/03/2023 11:59
I’d tell him what you have just told us! I don’t know why so many men don’t get it either! I do think it becomes unconscious over time from years of strategic uselessness so they don’t get asked to do stuff..!
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 19/03/2023 12:01
He’s a prick. How old are your children? How was the empty book presented to you? (I bet it’s the number 1 result that comes up on Amazon if you search “Mothers’ Day present”)
LauraNorda · 19/03/2023 12:01
Are you saying that you would be happy if he treated you OK for 1 day of the year but like shit for the other 364?
aureus3012 · 19/03/2023 12:02
I would go out....literally just get your stuff, walk out the door and go wherever you will have a good time. Text him and tell him you will be out until x time, turn your phone off and enjoy it. Whatever happens, I hope you have the day you deserve and that he has the day he deserves!
Scalottia · 19/03/2023 12:03
Why are you with him? Stop putting up with it - simple solution.
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 19/03/2023 12:03
Oh and the thing about scoffing the first choice cafe item while you got the fallback choice- that is prickish any day of the year, not just on Mothers’ Day. Basic courtesy requires him to at least offer it to you, even if he hopes you’ll say “No, you have it dear”.
Ishefuckingkiddingme · 19/03/2023 12:03
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 19/03/2023 12:01
He’s a prick. How old are your children? How was the empty book presented to you? (I bet it’s the number 1 result that comes up on Amazon if you search “Mothers’ Day present”)
3yo and 7mo. I haven’t had the book yet, I’ve been told that it exists. He said he hasn’t had time to fill it out (even though he’s a teacher and was striking for two days this week with me working and DD and DS both at nursery…). I know the one he’s referring to because he left it on show in the kitchen.
MobyJeff · 19/03/2023 12:03
His housekeeping machine is making an odd moaning noise again. Maybe it needs something, attention? Oil? Hitting with a wrench? How annoying. Maybe he’ll deal with it later after he’s attended to more important things.
Ponoka7 · 19/03/2023 12:04
Part is that he doesn't care enough and the rest because you let him get away with it. You should have claimed the one item and told him that because it's mother's day, could he get the toy. Don't play the martyr and do anything for father's Day or his birthday.
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 12:05
@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I saw cards in shops so googled the date myself but a lot of people don't actually go into shops these days (buy everything online) so it's easy to miss things -however it seems from what @Ishefuckingkiddingme has said he's just a useless twat.
Sorry OP 💐
incitethismeetingtorebellion · 19/03/2023 12:06
No opinion on his level of intelligence but he sounds like an absolute arsehole.
DevantMaJardin · 19/03/2023 12:07
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 11:57
Gosh, yes, and without dated signs, how can we possible find any information?
Needmorelego · 19/03/2023 11:56
Did he forget it's today? It's early this year and I noticed in a lot of shops they were selling the cards etc under the signs that say 'Mother's Day" but none of the signage actually had the date on.
Actually I disagree. The internet is so awash with the Americanized version which is later in the year, I've got the dates mixed up for mother's and father's day before just because if you ask the wrong question you can get the American dates instead of the British ones or vice versa.
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 19/03/2023 12:07
Oh let me guess is he a teacher of something manly like chemistry and in a terribly important position on the SLT?
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