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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you had your first child..

208 replies

over30sclub · 01/03/2023 23:24

Disclaimer - not a real AIBU I couldn’t find another topic where you can vote

I’ve recently turned 30 and been TTC for a while (not happened yet :D) and it seems like every single person I know from school or in my age range had children ages ago (friends with children 10+ for example). All of my close friends have children - albeit younger - but I’m starting to think that I’m in the minority and I’ll be an older mum at the school gates, if and when it happens.

So.. I wanted to get a gauge outside of the small world that is my friends and Facebook, how many of you had your first child before 30??

YABU - I had my first child at 30+
YANBU - I had my first child younger than 30

Ps no judgment or one ups - neither is better or worse, I’m just curious to see the %
Pps I’m a semi regular poster - name changed as I picked a rubbish one before and was sick of it 😂

OP posts:
Sunriseinwonderland · 02/03/2023 06:55

I was 21. I was doing my medical degree. I had a few weeks off snd went straight back. The energy I had in those days.
Luckily DS was an exceptional baby and a very happy baby.

Oysterbabe · 02/03/2023 06:56

I had mine at 35 and 37.
Not a single one of my uni friends had a baby before 30. All the school gates I'm completely average aged.

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 06:56

31, was unexpected but not unplanned

smileladiesplease · 02/03/2023 06:57

Ds1 25
Ds2 27
Dds 3/4 twins 36.

HappyBinosaur · 02/03/2023 06:58

I had my first at 25. Looking back it feels very young but I was married, had a good degree and was a qualified teacher. I had my others at 27 and 32.
I have progressed in my career and completed a second degree and MA whilst working. I worked part time for a few years but used some of that time to study too so although I didn’t progress in my career in my twenties, I was able to do this in my thirties.
I was definitely the youngest in my social circle to have a baby.

Meandfour · 02/03/2023 07:00

I had my 4 at 22, 26, 28 & 31.

Tallulasdancingshoes · 02/03/2023 07:01

Had my first 2 days before I turned 31 then had my second at 34. I would say this was fairly average for my friendship group.

Crunchymum · 02/03/2023 07:03

32 for DC1

TellSomeoneElse · 02/03/2023 07:05

I don’t think you’ll be an ‘older mum’ really, just possibly older than some of the others, if that makes any sense at all!
I was upper end of 27 when I had my son, altho we’d started trying when I was 25. There doesn’t really seem to be a normal, such is the way with most things really. Best of luck with TTC, it can be bloody hard sometimes but a million times worth it in the end 😊

TheClitterati · 02/03/2023 07:05

40 & 43.

Crumpetdisappointment · 02/03/2023 07:07

just turned 29 although i had my second two aged 31 and 33

Reugny · 02/03/2023 07:12

TheClitterati · 02/03/2023 07:05

40 & 43.

I went back to work on a Science Park and lots of the women in scientific and technical positions had their child in their late 30s and 40s. The other women in areas like sales and marketing had them in late 20s and 30s.

HistoryFanatic · 02/03/2023 07:17

30 but that was due to years of TTC.

HistoryFanatic · 02/03/2023 07:19

35 for the second.

Buddythecat1 · 02/03/2023 07:22

I was 20. Had my 4th at 28 and I'm completely done.
Wishing you all the luck in the world

FatCatt · 02/03/2023 07:22

Most of my friends had their first between 18-23. I think there are 2 of us out of my school class of 21 girls that don’t have kids yet. I’m hoping for my first in 3 years at 27/28. I’d have loved one earlier but I did a 6 year vet med degree

custardbear · 02/03/2023 07:22

First 37
Second 40

I started ttc late, 33, and had issues with both miscarriages and also conception for a while too ... got there in the end! What worked for me was loss of weight (I'm a little over weight and oestrogen resides in fat so it's good to lose or put on a bit if you're under or over weight accordingly), upped my exercise, water intake and both times I was also distracted by things going on in my life. I also found Agnus castus was good for me

GarveySister · 02/03/2023 07:24

But of my close friends, ages for having first child were 34, 35 & 36

londonrach · 02/03/2023 07:24

41 and I wasn't the oldest...most my mum friends are 35 to 42 having their first...I'd have liked her earlier but didn't happen.... easy natural pregnancy and birth for me...

Situaciones · 02/03/2023 07:25

My first child was born when I was 34..

Badgerandfox227 · 02/03/2023 07:25

33 and that’s pretty normal amongst my friends. Those I know who had their first in mid 20’s had ‘surprises’ rather than planned pregnancies.

TenoringBehind · 02/03/2023 07:26

34 and 36

Several miscarriages at 39 and 40

Ringmaster27 · 02/03/2023 07:27

I had mine at 20, just turned 22 and 24

RosaBonheur · 02/03/2023 07:28

I had my first at 35 and my second at 36.

Not a single one of my close friends had their first child before turning 30. Out of my friendship group from university I was the first. Another had her first baby at 36, another is pregnant at 36 (both IVF after a long time TTC though) and another is just starting to TTC now at 35.

FannythePinkFlamingo · 02/03/2023 07:28

First at 25, second at 27. This is in line with most of my contemporaries at the time - late 1990s.