To ask when you had your first child..

[over30sclub]

Disclaimer - not a real AIBU I couldn’t find another topic where you can vote

I’ve recently turned 30 and been TTC for a while (not happened yet :D) and it seems like every single person I know from school or in my age range had children ages ago (friends with children 10+ for example). All of my close friends have children - albeit younger - but I’m starting to think that I’m in the minority and I’ll be an older mum at the school gates, if and when it happens.

So.. I wanted to get a gauge outside of the small world that is my friends and Facebook, how many of you had your first child before 30??

YABU - I had my first child at 30+
YANBU - I had my first child younger than 30

Ps no judgment or one ups - neither is better or worse, I’m just curious to see the %
Pps I’m a semi regular poster - name changed as I picked a rubbish one before and was sick of it 😂

I was 33 and 36.

Youngest to have kids in my friend group had her first at 32.

Dp was 28 and his ex was 29 when they had DSS

One and only at 45.

Just wondering where you live and education level? University educated women tend to have their first child later. I had mine at 32,35 and 37.
www.cpc.ac.uk/docs/BP29_Educational_differences_in_childbearing_widen-in_Britain.pdf

I think your real concern about being an 'older mum' at the school gates, is something that really varies depending on where you live.

In London, for example, many people have kids aged 35-40. Whereas in a small northern town, you might find more people in their early-mid 20's.

So, it's not really relevant what mumsnet say, because on here you will get people who are spread all over the place.

It sounds like you live in an area where many people do have children in their 20's, so yes you might be older than most of the older mums (but that's OK!)

40 for my one and done. I was the oldest mum in my NCT group but have never felt significantly older in mum groups or at the school gates. My daughter has two good friends in her year with mums older than me. In our circle of friends most people were mid-30s on average.

I was pregnant at 34 and gave birth just after turning 35 thinking about baby two now at 38. Most in my wider friendship group had their first child between ages of 32-39 with many of those being 35 plus. I also know a few mums having their first around 40. No one had kids in their 20s everyone had been to university and been career focussed in their 20s and 30s plus meeting the right partner.

31 34 39

29, 31 and 34.

This is so dependent on your circle. None of my friends had a baby before 30 because we’re all in professions that require long degrees and years of training post grad.

If you start work straight from school, or do a short degree with no significant training, you probably know other people in the same boat and will have children earlier in that circle.

It’s also interesting to me that I don’t know anyone who wasn’t married when they had their first child. I suppose that might contribute to being a bit later for some.

18 and 20. Have a career and I'm married to their father, for all the sardonic previous comments.

Great responses from all loved reading about all of your journeys

To answer your qs I’m from a small town in the north of England but I did move around 5 years ago to the outskirts of London so the friends I’m talking about are mainly from my hometown. I don’t have university friends as I didn’t go to a traditional brick uni but I do have a higher education after years of online study toward my chosen career. Thinking about it more, the women I work with in my office mostly do not have children or had them 35+. Obviously not a hard and fast rule, plenty of people where I live have children before 30 but interesting to think about.

First baby at 31, and I'm the first in my group of close school friends!

I had my first at 30 and I'll hopefully (currently pregnant) have my second at 33.

This completely! Unbelievable how much societal pressure impacts the way you view yourself. I look at people I work with or friends of friends 40-45+ and would never have a thought about their age or think they’re old.. so why am I worried how people view me?
Also happy birthday!!

25, so mine are grown up but I have friends my age with little ones, they were 40+

20, I was the youngest at the school gates by about 10 years.

I'm still under 30 and thinking about number 2.

I was the youngest in our prenatal class. I was 34.

You had your first child at 14???

In London my NCT group and I are all in our mid 30's with our first baby. All of us are going back to work full time.

Back in my hometown it's very common to get married and have a baby before you're 25 and then be a SAHM.

Some mums I know were quite smug about being "young mums". They then ended up divorced and then trying again for a baby in their 30's with their new partner. I personally couldn't do it all over again with big age gaps.

I had my first at 30, got pregnant first month of trying thanks (I think) due to me charting my temperatures and so knowing exactly when the right time was.

First at 17, 7th and last at 30.

I was 26, 28 and 34. At 34 I was possibly one of the slightly older Mums by DD3 but not massively so. I think its just luck who you end up with in the school playground.

I became very good friends with DD1 friends Mum who is 10 years older than me - we are still friends now the kids are 24.

With DD3, all her friends were the oldest child in their family, so their Mums were possibly a good bit younger than me but they were still freindly enough with me, because well i suppose they were nice people.

My older sister has children younger than me, so I think she had both hers between 35-40, never an issue for her and all her school Mum friends are a similar age.

I gave birth when I was 26. I'm now 28, I'm one of the first in my friendship circle to have child(ren). We do want a second, but not anytime soon. We will probably try for second (frozen embryo transfer) in 2025 / 2026. So second DC will be planned for when I'm in my very early 30s.

Had my first at 28 and second before my 31at birthday. Many of my classmates had their first a few years after leaving secondary. Definitely something I would not have wanted for myself because I wanted to be on my own and experience uni.

My dad was asking about grandchildren after I graduated uni at 21 (because all his friends had grandchildren 🙄) and my sister and mum were all right with the notion of me being a single mum and them helping me take care of a baby which made me even more set in my ways of wanting to be married with a full-time job and a house. Married DH at 25, full-time permanent role at 26, house bought at 27.

My parents had me at 23, lived separately and would have struggled if they didn’t have family help and affordable childcare. We didn’t/don’t have family help but we could comfortably afford childcare and both boys are now in school.

I was sexually abused and scared to tell anyone, so yes. I met my now Dh and decided to complete the family and Dh adopted my eldest.
I’m proud of all my children.