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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH randomly masturbating

298 replies

Catladyy · 08/01/2023 18:16

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 08/01/2023 18:18

Gross.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 08/01/2023 18:18

He was masturbating in the kitchen?

Itsrudemeghan · 08/01/2023 18:18

He’s fucking disgusting on more than one level

Blanca87 · 08/01/2023 18:19

Ick

Panpastels · 08/01/2023 18:19

Did he do it in the kitchen?! Yes this is very odd and gross.

Slimjimtobe · 08/01/2023 18:19

Wtf 😳

AlwaysGinPlease · 08/01/2023 18:20

That would end the entire relationship for me. How utterly revolting. How you could even speak to him after that is beyond me.

LubaLuca · 08/01/2023 18:20

How did he wank for so long? And in the kitchen?

I doubt he was, he was just making up an excuse for being lazy that he thought you wouldn't want to get into a conversation about. He was trying to shock you into silence.

topcat2014 · 08/01/2023 18:20

But no one was in the same room, right?

Probably not ideal in a roses round the door kind of way, but no harm done?

safetyfreak · 08/01/2023 18:20

Really strange behaviour

Aquamarine1029 · 08/01/2023 18:20

He did this...in the kitchen? What?

Ledwood85 · 08/01/2023 18:21

He took 45mins to knock one out?

Yellowflowerr · 08/01/2023 18:21

Why was he masturbating in the kitchen?? That’s really weird op…not sure many peoples partners would go from ‘make my child a meal’ one second to whipping their junk out the next…when the meal isn’t even done o_o

MoreSleepPleasee · 08/01/2023 18:22

That is seriously messed up behaviour.

TiddlesTheTiger · 08/01/2023 18:22

It's weird to volunteer to make a quick tea and then do something else, whatever that is.

Prioritising having a wank is gross, tho.

As well as apologising, does he actually see what's wrong with it?

onionringcheeseypuff · 08/01/2023 18:22

If this is real, he doesn't seem to be able to wait til an appropriate time or place, like why not wait? He just couldn't stop himself?

Itsnotaferret · 08/01/2023 18:23

What in the sane hell????

DontStopMeNow7 · 08/01/2023 18:23

Lol, what? Well it would be good if he could explain this rather than defend it - why couldn’t he just wait? I can only guess he thought he’d knock one out quickly but got carried away or whatever.

If you don’t get mad, he might talk to you about it.

JungleJungle · 08/01/2023 18:23

Jesus. I have no words for how utterly gross this is. Imagine being able to hear your child crying in the next room, knowing they are hungry and that your partner needs help, then being able to ignore all of that and have a wank. What a cnut.

MoreSleepPleasee · 08/01/2023 18:24

Can't imagine my child being hungry at dinner time and me thinking fuck it let me sit here and have a long play with myself. That's so odd.

theblackradiator · 08/01/2023 18:24

wtf is wrong with some men and I hope he wasn't doing it in the kitchen that's fkin gross I'd be fuming. you never hear of women doing shit like this as we're actually busy dealing with crying babies, there's definitely a time and a place. I'm fuming on your behalf op.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 08/01/2023 18:24

Wtf did I just read?!

Goosefatroasts · 08/01/2023 18:25

Can we just establish whether he was having a wank over the kitchen worktop or did he take himself to his bedroom? 🤦‍♀️. Makes the world of difference when responding.

Jimboscott0115 · 08/01/2023 18:26

It's certainly not disgusting or relationship ending like some bizarre posts have suggested, but it is a little odd - like you say, he could have made DS dinner and then had a quick one while you were doing bedtime if that's what he wanted.

The timing is a misnomer, noone has urges on a schedule or always at opportune moments, but then most of us can control them for a period until there's a free moment.

I think it's a typical example of just having an adult conversation about it's fine to masturbate (because it is for everyone - anyone saying otherwise needs therapy), but it's not fine to upset routines etc to do it. I'd probably check he wasn't doing it in the kitchen as that's a little odd, tell him to go in the bathroom next time.

butterfliedtwo · 08/01/2023 18:26

What the fuck? In the kitchen with a child in the next room is so gross.