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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH randomly masturbating

298 replies

Catladyy · 08/01/2023 18:16

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Vaccine001 · 08/01/2023 18:39

Unhygienic pervert!

StrawberryWater · 08/01/2023 18:39

Op

You oh is nasty and his inabilities to prioritise a hungry baby is something he should be shamed for! If he wants to bang one out fine, but at least a) go upstairs and b) give you a heads up (badum tss) that he can’t make food now and you need to sort it.

What a dirty bird he is.

LimeTwists · 08/01/2023 18:39

Good God. Could he not wait?! Tell him he needs to practise patting his head with one hand and rubbing his belly with the other. Will come in handy for knocking one off while stirring a casserole, since he can’t prioritise.

TrishM80 · 08/01/2023 18:40

What a wanker

Maray1967 · 08/01/2023 18:40

Cornettoninja · 08/01/2023 18:27

Tell him you’re not shaming him for wanking, you’re shaming him for making a promise to feed his child and then deciding his own needs are more important and not even telling you that he wasn’t going to do what he said he was going to.

Its till an issue that an adult can’t control themselves enough to wait until a suitable moment but that’s not shaming, he’s just not a fucking teenage monkey.

This is my view. It’s the fact that he ignored his child who needed feeding that is the really serious issue here.

solomam · 08/01/2023 18:40

TrishM80 · 08/01/2023 18:40

What a wanker

🤣

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 18:40

When I first read the post I automatically assumed in the middle of the garden or something like that.

It's weird he felt he needed to have a stroke before getting tea for the baby though.........

AzureOrchid · 08/01/2023 18:41

This can’t be real
If it is then absolutely gross and weird

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 08/01/2023 18:42

people should have more shame not indignantly saying they feel sad for having been kitchen wank shamed.

phoenixrosehere · 08/01/2023 18:42

Ledwood85 · 08/01/2023 18:21

He took 45mins to knock one out?

Right. That seems suspect tbh. Why offer to make an early dinner, and then go wank for almost an hour. Highly doubt he couldn’t have held off til later nor is that the norm (time-wise) for most men or even people to get off especially when they’re doing it themselves.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 18:43

Goosefatroasts · 08/01/2023 18:29

Perhaps a mountain out of a molehill. My husband proclaims he has never had a wank in all of our years together. Personally I don’t believe that.

Oh it's nice that he says that though. Least you're not sitting in the livingroom waiting on some toast and tea while he's in the kitchen spanking the monkey so to speak 😆😉

AlwaysGinPlease · 08/01/2023 18:43

Mastubate all you like but in your own time, not in the fucking kitchen when you're meant to be cooking for your baby . It's utterly disgusting. Those excusing him, making out like it's not really fucking gross...have a very low bar.

mrsbitaly · 08/01/2023 18:44

Yes it's odd and I would have been pissed off. There's a time and place for it and holding off feeding your child to have a wank is not on, he needs to get his priorities straight. I also don't understand mens brains what on earth was he thinking about right before cooking to decide to have a wank!

Goosefatroasts · 08/01/2023 18:45

@Ludo19

Very true. Small life wins 🙌 🤦‍♀️.

YouJustDoYou · 08/01/2023 18:45

God, gross. What is it with some men.

newnamethanks · 08/01/2023 18:46

Presumably there's liver in the fridge. Or maybe an apple pie. Gross.

Blossomtoes · 08/01/2023 18:48

Goosefatroasts · 08/01/2023 18:29

Perhaps a mountain out of a molehill. My husband proclaims he has never had a wank in all of our years together. Personally I don’t believe that.

Mine too. Not once in 25 years? Pull the other one, mate.

Backstreets · 08/01/2023 18:48

Here to shame the kitchen wanker

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 08/01/2023 18:48

Jimboscott0115 · 08/01/2023 18:26

It's certainly not disgusting or relationship ending like some bizarre posts have suggested, but it is a little odd - like you say, he could have made DS dinner and then had a quick one while you were doing bedtime if that's what he wanted.

The timing is a misnomer, noone has urges on a schedule or always at opportune moments, but then most of us can control them for a period until there's a free moment.

I think it's a typical example of just having an adult conversation about it's fine to masturbate (because it is for everyone - anyone saying otherwise needs therapy), but it's not fine to upset routines etc to do it. I'd probably check he wasn't doing it in the kitchen as that's a little odd, tell him to go in the bathroom next time.

It would be a relationship ender for me if my partner was so immature and/or selfish that it needed explained to him that he shouldn’t have a leisurely wank when he’s meant to be making a crying child’s dinner.

LumpyandBumps · 08/01/2023 18:49

I hope you’re not having pork 🤢

SeeYouNextTLol · 08/01/2023 18:49

This has got to be made up? 😂😂😂

MiniTheMinx · 08/01/2023 18:49

45 minutes Confused he should set the egg timer next time

babeB · 08/01/2023 18:49

Jimboscott0115 · 08/01/2023 18:26

It's certainly not disgusting or relationship ending like some bizarre posts have suggested, but it is a little odd - like you say, he could have made DS dinner and then had a quick one while you were doing bedtime if that's what he wanted.

The timing is a misnomer, noone has urges on a schedule or always at opportune moments, but then most of us can control them for a period until there's a free moment.

I think it's a typical example of just having an adult conversation about it's fine to masturbate (because it is for everyone - anyone saying otherwise needs therapy), but it's not fine to upset routines etc to do it. I'd probably check he wasn't doing it in the kitchen as that's a little odd, tell him to go in the bathroom next time.

No... it's definitely disgusting. You're tending to your baby and find out your DH is masturbating on the middle of the day when you're both around? That is not acceptable.

And there's no need to infantilise him with 'it's ok to touch your body'. No, actually, there's this thing called boundaries. This is not ok behaviour.

pippapipps · 08/01/2023 18:50

That is just beyond words he's a disgusting pig in the kitchen of all places and his grubby needs before his child 😡
Op get out now you and your child are worth so much more

solomam · 08/01/2023 18:51

I'd probably check he wasn't doing it in the kitchen as that's a little odd,

A little odd? Fecking hell. It's very, very odd, is what it is.

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