DH randomly masturbating

[Catladyy]

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

WTF??? Seriously?

@Wintercandyapple 45 mins is a long time though...a bit of wine and foreplay?

@Catladyy OP, joking aside, you are right to be annoyed. Not entirely the right time (or place? Kitchen? Ew.). If I was minding baby while DP was having a go with himself in the kitchen when he said he was making dinner there would definitely be words. 🤷‍♀️

Ah I read OP as if he was in the kitchen with DC actively crying out for food. If neither of those things is true it isn't quite so bad but you still wouldn't expect to have to tell a grown man and father to prioritize DC's needs over his own, er, needs. Especially with the ready comeback about shaming I would be wondering...

Is it possible he has a porn addiction? Or is using this admission to cover for something else?

I think funking disgusting is a bit out but certainly inconsiderate and selfish.

What I don’t get is why he admitted it immediately. Surely you’d say “I had to use the toilet” or “I spent longer in the shower than I meant to”

There is something suspect about this

V Weird. Is he quite open about relieving himself in general or is it something he does without you knowing? Either way it’s weird /inappropriate timing.
Why he’s incapable of resisting the need to is strange.
Does he get involved much in parenting or does he prioritise own needs more?
Only way I can explain it is that he got distracted viewing porn on his phone or something & got too invested to stop??
Not that that makes it a) reasonable or b) acceptable.
Like why not say he was doing something else - unless like I say he’s very open about these things & he thinks they take priority over his own kid/& you?? Weird/grim.

What the heck have I just read 😆

Wow
He sounds like a complete waste of space

A literal wanker.

Pearl clutching in full force

Gross.; I hope he washed his hands

Some people prefer not to hear about it because that's what they're used to.

I do think disgusting ltb is a bit strong since about 100% of men are having sex once a day (or week, or whatever their preferred frequency is), and there are many worse options, but he doesn't have to broadcast it and why would anyone.

My money is still on either porn addiction, or he's admitting this because the truth is worse.

I think the OP said baby wasn’t crying for dinner. Maybe they were getting hungry and DP hadn’t realised. 45 mins does seem quite long for a wank, though who am I to judge?!

I do find the responses saying LTB and he’s a disgusting pervert to be 🤔?? I wonder if he has prioritised finishing his crossword or other leisurely pursuit whether there would have been quite so much outrage. Or is it because he prioritises a sexual need that makes him a disgusting pervert? A crossword (“sorry I didn’t realise the time and really wanted to finish it!”) might have had people exclaiming he should have prioritised his child and left that to later and had perhaps been a bit selfish or thoughtless. But I don’t imagine it would have people calling him disgusting which makes me wonder whether for some people there is a subconscious feeling that masturbating is actually a bit disgusting.

Anyway, just wondering out loud. The baby wasn’t crying so he wasn’t shuffling one off with his child’s cries coming from the next room. That would be odd. He’s maybe been a bit selfish and it might seem an odd thing to do instead of prepping dinner, but I don’t think it makes him disgusting. Or a pervert.

OP... do you have an attractive next-door neighbour?
If you're not sure he was in the kitchen, are you sure he was in the house?

You have every good reason to 'shame' him for the time he chooses to self-pleasure. In private and at certain times fine, but not at the expense of normal household tasks which any couple should share.

He deserves to be shamed. Not for masturbating, but for doing it instead of making dinner for his hungry child. Does he have no self control?

He sounds disgusting.

God yes sorry that totally bypassed me- autistic brain🙂

This made me lol, not that he had a wank in the kitchen when he was supposed to be preparing dinner, but that he was so honest about it. He really could have kept the details to himself and just told you he'd gone to the loo or something. You have a strange, albeit very honest husband lol.

Haha or that the wank was a cover up for something else. Like he cooked an amazing dinner and burnt it and rather than confessing he made up a web of lies to cover his tracks, that make him look like a knob! 😂

Does food turn him on ?

I hope he washed his hands afterwards! Ew, I mean it’s not exactly normal to start making dinner and then go have a wank when you’re halfway through prepping. And the admittance “Oh sorry dinner is a bit late, I was wanking” 😆 Why not just say “I’m just going to have a shower” and pull it off in there like most folks do?