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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH randomly masturbating

298 replies

Catladyy · 08/01/2023 18:16

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 08/01/2023 19:04

I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest. It's a perfectly normal bodily function. Maybe the timing if off and it takes me under a minute when left to my own devices but what's the drama? A child can wait 45 mins for dinner

MadinMarch · 08/01/2023 19:05

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles
Is that you Carrie?

No, my name's Meghan. I don't know what Harry, my husband, was thinking!

quantumbutterfly · 08/01/2023 19:05

Is that you Meghan?

Did you ask him to do a tossed salad and he got a bit confused?

ThirtyThreeTrees · 08/01/2023 19:07

Unless it was in the kitchen, I really don't understand the outrage. He had a wank, he did murder anyone. The child wasn't starving either.

Nineteen60s · 08/01/2023 19:07

Oh FFS everybody, this is a wind-up, isn’t it!!
Nobody would be that stupid.
The OP is probably laughing like mad about the fury everyone is in…..

Stompythedinosaur · 08/01/2023 19:07

I have no issue with anyone having a wank, but prioritising it above parenting your dc is off.

SunSandAndLotsOfGin · 08/01/2023 19:07

LumpyandBumps · 08/01/2023 18:49

I hope you’re not having pork 🤢

Pulled pork more like!!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/01/2023 19:08

I think it's weird to do anything that's non urgent to relax or whatever (reading a book, having a bath, having a wank) when you've a. Promised to do something else at that specific time and b. Your child is hungry

crosspusscrossstitcher · 08/01/2023 19:09

If this it true...
Prioritising a wank over a hungry baby, that's lower than low.

Fearnecuptea · 08/01/2023 19:10

🤢

Silverbook · 08/01/2023 19:10

odd On many levels….

45 mins 😳
while the baby was hungry 😳
and the fact he told you rather than making up ANY other excuse….

Mari9999 · 08/01/2023 19:11

I would be disgusted with his irresponsibility, and I would have fed my hungry child. It would not have mattered to me what he was doing. I would be annoyed that he was not doing the task that he agreed to do.

The fact that he was off masturbating as opposed to watching a football game or playing a video game would not have been an issue. The only issue would be his failure to do the task at hand.

Just as an aside, I don't know of many people who have an acceptable or designated masturbation time schedule. I would though have appreciated that he was not masturbating while preparing the family meal.

Aftersevens · 08/01/2023 19:11

This thread has made me giggle even more than the H and M meme one 😂
Thank you OP x

quantumbutterfly · 08/01/2023 19:12

If he said it in the style of Waynetta Slob YANBU.

solomam · 08/01/2023 19:12

excelledyourself · 08/01/2023 18:57

Imagine not even having the brains to say 'oh I had a headache and fell asleep' or something, anything, other than admitting to having such little self control that you can't prioritise your kids dinner over having what ultimately sounds like a laborious and tedious toss to yourself

😂😂😂

I laughed a little too loud at your last line.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 08/01/2023 19:13

Perhaps he was making a tossed salad?

ortonym · 08/01/2023 19:15

phoenixrosehere · 08/01/2023 18:42

Right. That seems suspect tbh. Why offer to make an early dinner, and then go wank for almost an hour. Highly doubt he couldn’t have held off til later nor is that the norm (time-wise) for most men or even people to get off especially when they’re doing it themselves.

Show quote history

D'ya think he was alibiing himself for something? Murder?
45 minutes is a hell of a long time.

Megapint · 08/01/2023 19:16

If this were true it would indeed be odd.

KinkyMom · 08/01/2023 19:16

I’m not a prude by any means. Husband and I are very open about sex and masturbation with each other. We don’t shame each other for it abs see it as a very natural way of relieving anxiety and relaxing. But even for us I would say there is a time and place for everything. When the baby is hungry and screaming at 5pm in the evening I would say is literally and figuratively a dick move on his part. He essentially just abandoned you with an upset child so he could jack off. Holding him accountable for that isn’t shaming. It’s simply pointing out that he abandoned his adult responsibilities for something that very much could have waited until after the children were asleep or during their nap time. At the very LEAST he could have fed the baby and then seem to his business but he couldn’t have even done that much. You’re not being unreasonable OP. Your husband prioritized his dick over his wife and his child’s needs and now he’s trying to play the guilt card to weasel out of it.

Tamarindtree · 08/01/2023 19:18

In the old days it was common to have a serving hatch from the kitchen into the dining or living room.

If you knocked through a hole in the wall and had a hatch fitted you could keep a beady eye on him to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

harrassedmumto3 · 08/01/2023 19:20

God, the tedium of married life with kids.
Remind me never to do it again!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/01/2023 19:20

Is this another excerpt from Harry's book?

Kanaloa · 08/01/2023 19:20

topcat2014 · 08/01/2023 18:52

And yet tv and films have 'sex in the kitchen' scenes all the time..

Which series or film has a man promising to make dinner for his baby, then having a 45 minute wank in the kitchen while the mother and child sit in the next room? What on earth do you watch?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/01/2023 19:21

Tamarindtree · 08/01/2023 19:18

In the old days it was common to have a serving hatch from the kitchen into the dining or living room.

If you knocked through a hole in the wall and had a hatch fitted you could keep a beady eye on him to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I think you mean a glory hole.

Misunderestimated · 08/01/2023 19:21

Tamarindtree · 08/01/2023 19:18

In the old days it was common to have a serving hatch from the kitchen into the dining or living room.

If you knocked through a hole in the wall and had a hatch fitted you could keep a beady eye on him to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Not sure the glory hole idea is going to get the hungry child fed any sooner tbh.