DH randomly masturbating

[Catladyy]

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

Who has the time to take a 45 min long wank?

Surely he could have cracked one out in 5 mins whilst the pasta was boiling.

weird.

And yet tv and films have 'sex in the kitchen' scenes all the time..

Is that you Carrie?

There's usually not a hungry child crying in the background wanting their tea on those films, though.

Is this normal behaviour from him though, to just pull it out and start bashing one out randomly or is this completely out of the norm ? What prompted him to just do that when his intention was to make a meal .... maybe you cook in the future.

Personally, if that was my DH i would be extremely concerned as that is out of character and i would be asking questions, hes only saying your shaming him cause he clearly knows how messed up it is.

Did you catch him doing it or did he just casually tell you ?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Yuk

A lot of salty comments here. One can be self-satisfied without being smug.

Delaying a hungry childs dinner 45 minutes by having a wank or for any non essential reason is not acceptable

Having a cheeky wank in his own time due to a slow sex life is acceptable.

This has to be a wind up!
Nobody, surely, can be so desperate for a wank at 5pm that they leave a hungry baby waiting. 🤮

Imagine not even having the brains to say 'oh I had a headache and fell asleep' or something, anything, other than admitting to having such little self control that you can't prioritise your kids dinner over having what ultimately sounds like a laborious and tedious toss to yourself

To right I'd be shaming him!!
Think it would be the end for me

Sexual urges can happen at the most peculiar times, often whilst the mind is wandering.

However, if you're a developed adult rather than a base creature, it's perfectly possible to put that thought aside and get on with one's day.

Surely uncontrollable mastabatory urges are the province of the desperately randy teen?

Rather unpleasant in an adult man.

But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him

🤣🤣 this man cannot be serious

Hope he washed his hands 🤣

laborious and tedious toss

🤣🤣🤣

Why did he tell you? Why did it take 45 minutes?

They really should - better for the prostrate.

Some people are fucking weird

@Aftersevens

Along with a previous poster who called him a Revolting Neanderthal I am just about done tonight 😂.

laborious and tedious toss 🤦‍♀️

What did you make in the end? Jerk Chicken? Or Toad in the hole?

You wouldn't watch 45 minutes' worth though if you were hungry.

It's disgusting but wouldn't end a relationship over it.

And your first thought was to share this on mumsnet🤔

He was thinking of removing the wet hot dogs from the jar and sliding them into mustard and ketchup lubricated buns and just couldn’t help himself, could he OP?

this thread has made me laugh. I’m calling BS but thanks for the imagery😂😂😂