Why are some people on here so horrible?

[Wheeesht3]

has anyone else noticed an increase in certain posters who consistently comment with horrible, insulting and deliberately unhelpful things?

im not talking about posts where the OP can’t accept the truth, or where they don’t like to be told they are being unreasonable. I’m talking about certain commenters consistently posting horrible comments. You can recognise it by their username in some cases.

does MN deal with them? There’s several posters I can think of off the top of my head who are horrible everytime they comment, and half the time their comments end up being deleted for being horrible. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve definitely noticed an increase in it recently.

(Sorry, that was in reply to @SugarplumFairyyy)

Ah gotcha! Thanks @BIWI 😊

Eugh. Please excuse all the typos and grammar errors there. Hit post by accident. Hadn't finished.

No I dont think you’ve been horrible at all. But I think some posters are deliberately missing the point of the thread. Not sure why several comments about me NC or about other posts like this is relevant- half the thread is taken up with this now. I’m just going to focus on the other half of the thread with people who either agree and have noticed similar, or disagree and haven’t noticed it but aren’t repeatedly asking me why I’ve name changed, suggesting in part of some campaign and tearing apart everything I’ve said.

Thank you for acknowledging that I haven't been horrible to you.

Yes, I voiced suspicions about the thread due to there being so many in a similar vein over the last few days.

You mentioned a post regarding a thread you started about whether you should go to A&E, I do think those threads attract people who think one should only attend A&E if they hop there carrying their leg that has just fallen off, just ignore them or report if they are calling you names they are really not worth you giving them headspace.

In my opinion MN is better now than it was years ago - there is a wider variety of views and experiences by virtue of there being more posters overall and more posters from differing backgrounds and demographics with differing experiences, insights and opinions. It used to have very much a cliquey or special club atmosphere, a lot of sycophancy, an overall 'party line' that wasn't to be deviated from and frequently threads were dominated by posters talking amongst themselves, greeting one another, completely ignoring the OP, talking around and over the OP and any other posters who were 'new' or whose names were not recognised by the core 'in crowd'. New or unrecognisable posters who ventured onto threads started by member of the 'in crowd' to offer an opinion or comment were either ignored or their opinions/comments roundly and bluntly torn apart and dismissed. However, if one of the 'in crowd' gave the same opinion or comment as the one the new poster had just had trashed there would be fawning galore.

Overall I think MN has grown up and is far more diverse and interesting.

^ This. There does seem to be an upswing in "why is everyone so horrid" threads but maybe I am noticing them more.
I think trying to get people to conform to some nebulous idea of "nice" "supportive" etc, on AIBU or anywhere much on the internet is a fool's errand, however well intentioned.

It's an internet thing, unfortunately not unique to MN.

Are you joking?

I completely agree, you’ve put it perfectly.

Re ‘not this again’ about certain threads, I often find myself wondering how I’ve missed them! I’m on here a lot, too much really, it’s such a time waster, but this is only the second thread I’ve seen on this topic and the last was months ago.

I’m not questioning that it’s true, just saying it’s easy to miss any one individual thread. Plus I tend to think if you’re genuinely frustrated by the frequency of a topic then why contribute to it? Just ignore.

Well done. Stating the obvious...

Somebody asked what TAAT meant @purpleflies

Yup I asked what TAAT meant (literally had no idea) and BIWI very kindly told me.

Thanks for the explanation and context.

21 Dec 2022
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4702697-aibu-to-think-mumsnet-is-full-of-people-just-wanting-an-argument
22 Dec 2022
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4703176-why-are-people-on-here-just-so-aggressive-the-past-few-months
27 Dec 2022
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4598697-so-many-angry-people-around
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4706310-to-think-aibu-is-just-a-viper-pit
01 01 2023
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4709872-rude-nasty-foul-mouthed-comments-aimed-directly-at-mn-posters-aibu-to-get-angry

These are just few recent ones. I keep pointing out how often it is posted in the hope that one day there may be a section for it where I can ask MN to move them all to. I also feel it's my duty to stand up for the robust MN I joined and have enjoyed for 10+ years. It's not perfect, but it's nowhere like as bad as these threads make out.

I'm actually really impressed with how mums net respond though. I had one personal attack and reported it. Literally 5 mins later I got an email to say the post has been removed and they don't tolerate personal insults. I felt better.

Yes personal attacks are generally dealt with pretty swiftly.

Was there really any need for this kind of post? Just demonstrating what @Wheeesht3's thread is all about! If you were reading the thread you would have seen that it was in response to a specific question by another poster.

Yes there's a lot @WatchoRulo

I've been here years and it's always been robust. Some blame the introduction of AIBU for the apparent change.

I've made a lot of online friends here, and most of us are still here, but some think that's more difficult to do now. That could all be down to numbers, as it's a lot bigger and busier than I remember.

Power kicks I think. Or unhappy with their own lives so want to bring misery to others. Honestly don't know how some posters sleep of a night after how they behave on here.

Sorry I'm not going to be drawn into arguing with you @BIWI

Context was needed, given and thanked for. It might have been helpful if you'd formed your post differently, in isolation it looked like goading, but it was my mistake.

It was only in isolation if you weren't bothering to read the thread. My very next post also pointed out that it was a reply to @SugarplumFairyyy.

The context was in the thread.

You'd forgotten to form it as a reply. I didn't see your follow up amendment post. Simple as that...

Other posters explained and were thanked, so I think this is unnecessary. Let me know if that doesn't clarify enough for you, as this is my second, or third now, response to you, and that's kindly meant.

Surely it’s the same as any online forum, OP? I agree with a PP that as times gone on MN has more users and that means more people are likely to have differing opinions. Ofc how you say those different opinions matters, but there’s also room for interpretation on how things are read on the internet so it might not always be someone is being “mean” but it’s been read more bluntly than intended.

How should a post be 'formed as a reply' @purpleflies, other than replying to another poster?! And I was the first poster to reply to @SugarplumFairyyy, so no idea what you mean by saying 'Other posters explained and were thanked'.

Anyway, I'll leave you to your kind responses.