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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think Mumsnet is full of people just wanting an argument?

143 replies

gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:04

As the title says really.

Some commenters can offer advice, support or submit their differing opinions and move on.

But more over there seems to be a lot of people hell bent on destroying the original posters. It doesn't seem to be a constructive environment for discussions to take place.

I have seen alot of posts today where OP has posted something, some people have given opinions and others have focused on one minor detailed and been passive aggressive about everything and just not picked there way to an argument with OP and when OP has relented Mumsnet have closed the thread.

Yet do not seem to stop these relentless mums betters who are clearly just commenting for an argument rather than giving their opinion.

OP posts:
WatchoRulo · 21/12/2022 14:05

I completely disagree.

W0tnow · 21/12/2022 14:06

I see what you did there.

JamSandle · 21/12/2022 14:07

There are definitely sections where that is the case.

Keyansier · 21/12/2022 14:08

Could have written this post or one like it myself, especially today.

In a thread of mine recently I said X and then other users replied accusing me of saying Y and then got more users asking me to explain myself about Y when I had only in fact said X and not Y and even though I repeatedly replied saying I did not say Y I had user after user asking me to explain myself. It can be very frustrating. I think some users do deliberately do it on purpose though to be unpleasant and possibly cause arguments, like you said.

Whywhywhywhy3 · 21/12/2022 14:08

There are people who do this yes. But there's also a lot of kind and helpful people offering support and advice. I tend to just ignore the argumentative people looking for a fight.

ErrolTheDragon · 21/12/2022 14:08

No, it's not full of people who want an argument. There's room for people who want to pontificate and criticise too.

BaublesandBangles · 21/12/2022 14:09

No it's not.

mothertrucking · 21/12/2022 14:09

BaublesandBangles · 21/12/2022 14:09

No it's not.

Beat me to it

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:10

ErrolTheDragon · 21/12/2022 14:08

No, it's not full of people who want an argument. There's room for people who want to pontificate and criticise too.

This made me chuckle 🤭

OP posts:
BisodolGuzzler · 21/12/2022 14:10

Keyansier · 21/12/2022 14:08

Could have written this post or one like it myself, especially today.

In a thread of mine recently I said X and then other users replied accusing me of saying Y and then got more users asking me to explain myself about Y when I had only in fact said X and not Y and even though I repeatedly replied saying I did not say Y I had user after user asking me to explain myself. It can be very frustrating. I think some users do deliberately do it on purpose though to be unpleasant and possibly cause arguments, like you said.

Oh the irony! Hmm

mrsbitaly · 21/12/2022 14:10

Yes absolutely but I won't go into details through fear of attack which I'm sure you'll also get now OP.

dogtheted · 21/12/2022 14:11

Keyansier · 21/12/2022 14:08

Could have written this post or one like it myself, especially today.

In a thread of mine recently I said X and then other users replied accusing me of saying Y and then got more users asking me to explain myself about Y when I had only in fact said X and not Y and even though I repeatedly replied saying I did not say Y I had user after user asking me to explain myself. It can be very frustrating. I think some users do deliberately do it on purpose though to be unpleasant and possibly cause arguments, like you said.

It's usually you starting the drama FFS 😂

ErrolTheDragon · 21/12/2022 14:11

And also room for those who merely seek to amuse.Grin

July70 · 21/12/2022 14:11

There are some just want to make people feel worse. Others get a kick out of winding people up. Once noted that the people/poster fit that box, I'd just ignore the clowns.

benisright · 21/12/2022 14:11

Social media is the same everywhere.

Rule number 1 on SM is never get into any sort of argument as you don't know / see the person so you're just shouting to yourself. Yes some people do that just to release themselves of whatever they are enduring.

I just pick the info / advice and ignore all the arguments.

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:12

mrsbitaly · 21/12/2022 14:10

Yes absolutely but I won't go into details through fear of attack which I'm sure you'll also get now OP.

It's absolutely crazy on a public forum to fear attack though isn't it?

Surely the whole point is to see other peoples opinions.

I think some people really struggle to take other people's opinions and just move on.

OP posts:
RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 21/12/2022 14:12

Yes the people who sieze upon a word in the OP to critisize or pick apart what the OP is saying. Or deliberately misread the OP to take the worst possible interpretation or just give pointless critisicim about stuff that can't be changed. Some of the comments are also just incredily unkind. I'm not talking about everyone who disagrees with the OP or asks for clarification but you can do both of these things in a constructive kind way. It's obvious some people just want to knock the OP down a peg or two.

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:13

July70 · 21/12/2022 14:11

There are some just want to make people feel worse. Others get a kick out of winding people up. Once noted that the people/poster fit that box, I'd just ignore the clowns.

Should Mumsnet be looking for these people and deleting them? They stop the whole point of Mumsnet I think

OP posts:
WatchoRulo · 21/12/2022 14:13

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 21/12/2022 14:12

Yes the people who sieze upon a word in the OP to critisize or pick apart what the OP is saying. Or deliberately misread the OP to take the worst possible interpretation or just give pointless critisicim about stuff that can't be changed. Some of the comments are also just incredily unkind. I'm not talking about everyone who disagrees with the OP or asks for clarification but you can do both of these things in a constructive kind way. It's obvious some people just want to knock the OP down a peg or two.

So it's generally a reflection of how the world is then?

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:13

benisright · 21/12/2022 14:11

Social media is the same everywhere.

Rule number 1 on SM is never get into any sort of argument as you don't know / see the person so you're just shouting to yourself. Yes some people do that just to release themselves of whatever they are enduring.

I just pick the info / advice and ignore all the arguments.

True! Good advice there!

OP posts:
WatchoRulo · 21/12/2022 14:14

gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:13

Should Mumsnet be looking for these people and deleting them? They stop the whole point of Mumsnet I think

Show quote history

What is "the whole point of Mumsnet"?

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:15

@WatchoRulo from what I've seen on other posts, you may be one of these people! Why do you do it?

OP posts:
WatchoRulo · 21/12/2022 14:16

gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:15

@WatchoRulo from what I've seen on other posts, you may be one of these people! Why do you do it?

Why do I do what? Disagree with people? Express an opinion?

Original poster
gloss234 · 21/12/2022 14:16

@WatchoRulo I suppose people may get different things from it.

But I see it as a way to discuss things that you may not feel comfortable to in real life or perhaps you don't have family/ friend support in real life. Or maybe you just want more honest opinions from a bigger pool of people

OP posts:
Addicted2Kale · 21/12/2022 14:18

I completely agree. This thread will be no different, sadly.