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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are some people on here so horrible?

285 replies

Wheeesht3 · 02/01/2023 22:58

has anyone else noticed an increase in certain posters who consistently comment with horrible, insulting and deliberately unhelpful things?

im not talking about posts where the OP can’t accept the truth, or where they don’t like to be told they are being unreasonable. I’m talking about certain commenters consistently posting horrible comments. You can recognise it by their username in some cases.

does MN deal with them? There’s several posters I can think of off the top of my head who are horrible everytime they comment, and half the time their comments end up being deleted for being horrible. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve definitely noticed an increase in it recently.

OP posts:
purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:27

I was the first poster to reply to @SugarplumFairyyy, so no idea what you mean by saying 'Other posters explained and were thanked'.

Behave yourself now BIWI. Grin. Are you serious? Other posters explained to me and were thanked by me.

If I were if an unkind disposition I would say you should take your own advice and read the thread properly. Luckily I'm not.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:29

Of not if

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:36

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:27

I was the first poster to reply to @SugarplumFairyyy, so no idea what you mean by saying 'Other posters explained and were thanked'.

Behave yourself now BIWI. Grin. Are you serious? Other posters explained to me and were thanked by me.

If I were if an unkind disposition I would say you should take your own advice and read the thread properly. Luckily I'm not.

Why are you picking on BIWI? She helpfully replied to someone, was thanked by that person and you’ve berated her for stating the obvious.

Instead of apologising to her, you’re goading her further.

This is why these threads are so ironic, the people like you spouting #BeKind inevitably reveal just how unkind they themselves are.

SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 16:38

Ok look let's summarise. @purpleflies and @BIWI

I said what is TAAT.

On the next page BIWI replied and told me what it means. Realised I wasn't mentioned so tagged me.

I said thanks.

Purpleflies read BIWI's response to me in isolation and made the comment which was admittedly a bit sarky about how it was stating the obvious.

Then me and someone else told purple flies that BIWI was explaining what TAAT meant.

Purpleflies felt a bit bad and apologised and thanked us. Clearly a bit embarrassed jumping the gun to be sarcastic but apologising whilst trying to still save face. Understandable- I felt second hand embarrassment too.

BIWI replied to the very original sarky comment oirple flies made and wasn't too happy with the tone which was fair enough.

By which stage Purple flies did try to apologise but it got confused and lost in translation and understandably BIWI probably thought she was being sarcastic again.

It's gone back and forth.

Basically- purpleflies- please read the thread next time before making the sarky comments 😆

The end.

We all good?

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:43

You can't believe that's serious @PrincessNakatomi Grin

No 'picking on' at all I assure you, if necessary.

Though I've never spouted the hashtag #bekind.

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:43

@SugarplumFairyyy except purpleflies never bothered to apologise to BIWI and instead tried to blame her for her own mistake.

KTheGrey · 03/01/2023 16:45

I agree. There is at least one user whose name I know because I have learned to ignore anything they post. Mean spirited and horrible to others for no reason.

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:45

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:43

You can't believe that's serious @PrincessNakatomi Grin

No 'picking on' at all I assure you, if necessary.

Though I've never spouted the hashtag #bekind.

It takes grace to apologise for a mistake, @purpleflies . There is no shame in admitting it.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:47

You read the thread at least then Grin@SugarplumFairyyy

Thank you. Yes fair enough summary.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:48

You can't believe that's serious @PrincessNakatomi

No 'picking on' at all I assure you, if necessary.

Though I've never spouted the hashtag #bekind

SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 16:50

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:43

@SugarplumFairyyy except purpleflies never bothered to apologise to BIWI and instead tried to blame her for her own mistake.

I think in a roundabout way she did by saying "my mistake" and something about genuine kindness. Look I'm not taking sides or trying to kick purpleflies when she's down...I also think BIWI was entitled to feel it was a dickish response in any event and allowed to reply. But purpleflies did say it was her mistake after.

I just said the events as they were seen 😆

JamSandle · 03/01/2023 16:50

Wheeesht3 · 02/01/2023 23:20

Perhaps it’s just that lots of people are on the receiving end of these commenters and it’s become more noticeable! Yes, you can report it, but the point was that there’s been a massive increase in it recently.

Show quote history

I agree. I think there are more posts about it because more people have noticed it.

People have said 'oh it's just AIBU' but it's not. It's across the forum.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:57

Talk about mountains out of molehills!

I'm happy to take it to PM because BIWI knows me under one of my old names. Though I think she's on the wind up at this point.Grin I'll be having words!

I missed an amendment post! That's it. I said it was my mistake.

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:57

SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 16:50

I think in a roundabout way she did by saying "my mistake" and something about genuine kindness. Look I'm not taking sides or trying to kick purpleflies when she's down...I also think BIWI was entitled to feel it was a dickish response in any event and allowed to reply. But purpleflies did say it was her mistake after.

I just said the events as they were seen 😆

Show quote history

But she didn’t Sugarplum. She didn’t apologise to BIWI directly or in a roundabout way.

Here is her arsey and passive aggressive reply to BIWI:

Sorry I'm not going to be drawn into arguing with you BIWI

Context was needed, given and thanked for. It might have been helpful if you'd formed your post differently, in isolation it looked like goading, but it was my mistake.

Where is the ‘genuine kindness’ in that?

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 16:58

Talk about mountains out of molehills!

I'm happy to take it to PM because BIWI knows me under one of my old names. Though I think she's on the wind up at this point. I'll be having words!

I missed an amendment post! That's it. I said it was my mistake.

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 17:00

@purpleflies

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

Erm, no she didn’t. That was you.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 17:05

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

Erm, no she didn’t. That was you.

Erm?

No actually it was both of us guilty of the sin of not reading the thread properly. I pulled her up about it in a joking way, it was quite funny considering.

You'll have to look at her posts to find that if you feel so involved though.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 17:05

Talk about mountains out of molehills!

I'm happy to take it to PM because BIWI knows me under one of my old names. Though I think she's on the wind up at this point. I'll be having words!

I missed an amendment post! That's it. I said it was my mistake.

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 17:06

Talk about mountains out of molehills!

I'm happy to take it to PM because BIWI knows me under one of my old names. Though I think she's on the wind up at this point. I'll be having words!

I missed an amendment post! That's it. I said it was my mistake.

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

Tanith · 03/01/2023 17:06

Quite a few are not who they seem.
Some are trolls, some are activists that hate women/Mumsnet, some are mentally ill, some are deliberately goading for screenshots or articles, some are bored kids on school holidays.

Report and ignore them. Any

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 17:08

Sorry I'm going to request to have those removed Shock

I'll PM Biwi when I'm home or wait for one. Sorry for the derailment OP.

SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 17:11

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 16:57

But she didn’t Sugarplum. She didn’t apologise to BIWI directly or in a roundabout way.

Here is her arsey and passive aggressive reply to BIWI:

Sorry I'm not going to be drawn into arguing with you BIWI

Context was needed, given and thanked for. It might have been helpful if you'd formed your post differently, in isolation it looked like goading, but it was my mistake.

Where is the ‘genuine kindness’ in that?

Show quote history

I'm truly lost now. I dont know where it started but it's picked back up. I tried to not blame anyone and be fair. And sounds like those two know each other. It's not a big deal, surely.
Purple flies was a bit arsey and she knows it but I'm sure she's not going to hunt me down for saying that. (Well pretty sure 😆)

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 17:12

purpleflies · 03/01/2023 17:05

The irony is that poor BIWI didn't read the thread properly herself and got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought for a moment she was being very disingenuous.

Erm, no she didn’t. That was you.

Erm?

No actually it was both of us guilty of the sin of not reading the thread properly. I pulled her up about it in a joking way, it was quite funny considering.

You'll have to look at her posts to find that if you feel so involved though.

What didn’t BIWI read properly? If you can’t say it then didn’t happen.

No, your arsey and passive aggressive posts weren’t funny, they were mean and unkind.

worraliberty · 03/01/2023 17:14

BIWI · 03/01/2023 00:23

@worraliberty hello! I was wondering where you'd got to - haven't seen you posting in ages!

Helloo! Switched to full-time working and it's pretty full on, but I have a good read now and then.

It's weird how when you take a break, it's hard to get back into MN again.

SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 17:15

PrincessNakatomi · 03/01/2023 17:12

What didn’t BIWI read properly? If you can’t say it then didn’t happen.

No, your arsey and passive aggressive posts weren’t funny, they were mean and unkind.

Show quote history

They had a misunderstanding and I think they know each other.