Anyone just done with life at middle age

[HadEnoughNow1]

Anyone else feel in their forties feel they’ve just had enough of life? I feel it’s all such an effort for such a mediocre life. Constant drudgery and daily grind for the occasional joy such as holidays. If I was told tomorrow I only have 6 months to live I think I’d feel relieved.

Did you take any meds for your depression? Did they help?

37 so practically middle aged and feel the same.
Makes me sad when I think of being so excited for Christmas and the fact that I had nice thick hair and a good figure in my 20's. Now no excitement, dreading approaching 40 and already seeing changes in my period, put on weight more easily and have thinning hair. Diseases such as cancer could become more common as no longer young.
Cost of living is ridiculous, hate my job and demanding boss and have a lot of anxiety especially about older relatives. I don't know how I can do this for much longer either.

I feel this at 25 😩

Yep. Totally feeling this at 44. Anxious, sad, lacking energy and want to change my job. Need to make some changes this year to make me happier. Definitely peri menopausal and it’s horrible. I have three great kids and a lovely OH but I am constantly worried and anxious. I want my positive and energy filled self back! Reading all of your replies has made me realise I’m not alone.

I’m early 40s and feel similar but I always do during the holidays when I solo parent. It’s tiring and relentless . I adore my children but I’m happy when they are in school and I get a bit of breathing space. I spend my holidays cleaning and cooking and wrapping and childcare and trying to make things fun when all I want is to have a lie in with the paper.
i’d still rather be here than not - and I’m grateful to have the life I do - but this bit of life is hard and heavy in a way I’ve not felt before in my teens, twenty’s and thirty’s when I really enjoyed myself.
i think it’s hormones and peri and some health things (minor but still
debilitating) and just less energy and looking in the mirror and seeing fading looks and a body that’s not what it was.

I'd also agree this could be menopause related. It can cause a feeling of flatness and demotivation, not depression as such but often mistaken for it.

The thing is we may be getting on a bit but we're also as young as we'll ever be again.

I feel the same and I’m in my twenties

I'm 48 and feel exactly the same. Have a relatively good life on paper. Degree, good job with medium good pay, nice enough house, nice enough DH ,2 DC who are healthy, holidays booked for next year. Reality is second ds is autistic in a very challenging way, relationship with dh is on life support and am constantly terrified I'll be fired just for being too old and expensive.

Struggling to find the joy. Each morning is just 'oh here we go again', more cooking cleaning laundry, packed lunches then log on for 9 hours of smiling at the camera, then back to cooking and cleaning up then bed. Repeat ad nauseum.

Few days off will be good but struggling to get excited about xmas, need to find some joy or fake it for the dc.

I'm mid 40s and can relate. Poorly paid job, single parent, parents with copd and cancer. Perimenapause. I've really struggled over the last couple years.

I think part of the problem is looking too far ahead. I can't see things improving, only getting harder. Pretty soon my tax credits will end as the children are growing up leaving me even worse off financially. Parents will worsen and die. I'm still single and alone.

But when people say to focus in the present I understand that to mean don't look years ahead, take that days opportunities, make the smaller changes that become the big ones - change jobs, move house, become healthier, take that date.

I also try to remember that being sentient is a gift. In this huge universe of wonders we are gifted with being able to see it and appreciate it even if we don't understand it. We get to see the sun and the life around us and know what a miracle it is. It is good to be alive and human for that reason alone.

Absolutely feel like this at 51. I've got two youngish daughters but honestly without them I'd jack it all in. It's so so tiring and endlessly relentlessly mundane. I've had enough.

In a way it’s a relief to hear I’m not alone…but sorry to hear so many of you are feeling the same way. I am so anxious about work at the moment and I never used to be. It seems every time I get my life together something different goes wrong and knocks me for six. I’m just exhausted by it all.

I’m 47 and was feeling absolutely exhausted by life, every morning was a battle
to get out of bed. Every joint had started to hurt and I felt like an old, irritable woman. I started HRT a few months ago and it has really helped my energy levels, my mood and my sleep. I’m not saying it is a miracle cure but it has certainly made a huge difference. May be worth trying as at our age we are often given antidepressants when what we need are hormones!

I'm 58 I've worked since I left school at 16, I have no mum dad or kids..I'm empty. My relatives were lucky to make early 70s...I don't want to empathise (take the shit from retail customers who don't seem to understand how bad things actually are) any more...I can manage for a while without them

I feel you op.

Nearly 44, single mum to 2 young DC. Shit part time job that gets on my nerves. I'm really limited for work due to childcare restraints. I feel like I never stop from the second I get up but never actually get anywhere.

I'm lonely but my ex husband has destroyed my faith in men. I can't imagine trusting one ever again. I'm terrified of my parents dying because I'll be totally alone and I don't know how I'll cope.

Also started going through early menopause at 35. I've managed to keep my figure but my hair is thinning horribly and I look knackered the time.

I'm just so tired.

My brother has just been round for a Christmas drink and I can't seem to summon up any joy whatsoever! Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Sounds like peri menopause to me. It was all the things you are feeling. Lethargy, anxiety, hating job (had horrendous anxiety each day) ,disliking partner. I'm now out the other side and I'm really happy despite nothing changing. Same job, working more hours and actually enjoying it, same partner. Etc. Exercise was good for me.

What’s weird about that? Anti-depressants aren’t the answer.

The hormones of peri menopause have an impact. Plus this is a time when a lot of women have the double responsibility of elderly parents and kids. We were visiting elderly in laws every weekend and helping them while taking care of kids and working full time. Looking back I don't know how we did it all. No wonder they were not my happiest years.

Good god no. Knocking 60, life is better than ever.

with respect, you don’t have an age issue but a mental health problem. Please seek professional advice.

Why do you assume it’s a mental health problem, rather than just an accurate appraisal of the situation she finds herself in and her reasonable response to it?

Because I don’t think it’s a reasonable response.

There is a happiness dip between 40 and 65 - people in this range report being the least happy of all. The good news is that from 65 on people report feeling happier and happier as they age.

(If it helps, I was told in 2016 that I may have had only 6 months to live. I’m still here so that colours my view)

I get that, but why not? If you don’t enjoy your life, have little to look forward to but more years of the same, failing health, worsening finances and earning potential etc, why wouldn’t that be a perfectly reasonable response/reaction? In fact, like the book Catch-22, I think you could argue not having that viewpoint in those circumstances could be the abnormal one.

DomesticShortHair · Today 21:02
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 20:58
Because I don’t think it’s a reasonable response.
I get that, but why not? If you don’t enjoy your life, have little to look forward to but more years of the same, failing health, worsening finances and earning potential etc, why wouldn’t that be a perfectly reasonable response/reaction? In fact, like the book Catch-22, I think you could argue not having that viewpoint in those circumstances could be the abnormal“

I was warned in 2016 that my life may be limited.
I’m here now, healthy and happy.