Anyone just done with life at middle age

[HadEnoughNow1]

Anyone else feel in their forties feel they’ve just had enough of life? I feel it’s all such an effort for such a mediocre life. Constant drudgery and daily grind for the occasional joy such as holidays. If I was told tomorrow I only have 6 months to live I think I’d feel relieved.

I do have lots of hobbies but they don’t seem to excite me anymore. I used to look forward to travelling and holidays too. I feel angry a lot of the time. Since covid my social circle has narrowed significantly as everyone works at home now and has moved away. I have attempted to make new friends but it’s not easy at this age. Perhaps I need to try harder.

It's just all a bit joyless isn't it op?
You somehow wake up everyday and it's all a bit meh.
It's been a difficult couple of years with no end in sight.
But we crack on the best we can a look forward to coming out the other side.

Try hitting 60 you're young middle aged then suddenly old

I feel the same. Life is shit. Job is under[aid and overworked. Applied for numerous jobs, got rejection letters by the bucketload. I am single, CAnt find anyone compatible. Everything seems like a chore. Never thought ID feel like this. Not 50 yet , still have a ew years. I doubt it will get better

I feel like this too, even more so as my marriage is really difficult since some revelations earlier this year that have destroyed my trust and feelings for DH, we have huge financial problems, DS1 is autistic, a close friend moved abroad and I am so lonely and unfulfilled. I like my job but it is stressful and I’m constantly behind. I’m on ADHD diagnosis pathway and feel lost and unseen. Will start HRT soon, hoping that helps. Currently have a chest infection so in bed just going through the motions with wrapping gifts.

I think not knowing what to do for the best isn’t helping either…i can’t get a GP appointment to talk to them about changing meds or blood tests…so then I think maybe I should go private…but then the admin of finding someone private plus the expense will cause me further anxiety. When did the nhs become so shit?! My GP surgery was great before covid, could always get an appointment, but since covid it’s impossible and I ended up under the local mental health crisis team because I couldn’t get a GP appointment.

Yep I also feel overworked and would love a new job but keep getting rejections 🤷‍♀️

We were talking about this recently, both wrong side of 60 with medical issues, aches and pains. Still feel like I'm young, body doesn't agree, at least OH still thinks I'm sexy (maybe I should have got him new glasses for Christmas).)

My 40s been the best years so far. Maybe see what you can do to improve things and hopefully your 40s feel better x

this is exactly how I feel since my youngest left for uni- just me in the house now and life is a miserable drudge of work and no money.

Also I always feel much better by the evening. So I feel fine now, but mornings I honestly feel like dying.

Mirtazipine didn't help me at all and made me so hungry I gained shedloads of weight which made me even more miserable! Might be worth going back to the gp.

Me.

I wouldn’t ever do anything about it but the amount of times I would like to never wake up is probably excessive.

I’m tired. And no one sees.

For you OP. 🌻

Are you sleeping ok? drinking too much? i ve done both in the past.

I'm late 50s and i feel great, i was laid off a couple of years ago and decided not to go back to work, which i think is probably a huge plus, downsized the house so i d have some money too.
Work is completely overrated... if there is a positive to Covid, that was it.
My DD wants to move back home, so i may be joining you! lol!

Sorry just saw you're struggling to get a GP appointment 😩 mental health team can help with meds though if you get desperate.

@dancinfeet this is going to be me next year, except eldest will be going to Uni and you rest at home. It all fills me with some dread!

Meant youngest will be at home!

I can see where your post is from.

I know there are lots of people worse than my position. But all through my life , I wanted to marry a person whom I love. Then I didn't. DH is a good guy, but personality wise, we are really not compatible. I don't get any intimacy from our relationship and no vocal praises about me as a person. I felt particularly down this summer, felt so so so lonely.

It's a dead end, no matter how many talks happened between us.

I have two lovely young DCs. But they are individual persons who don't replace me as a person to exist.

I currently managed to suppress my feeling of loneliness and just get on with life. But my soul has been silent and feeling numb.

I'm not depressed, but I don't feel lots of things to look forward to "for myself".

Oh @HadEnoughNow1 I'm sorry you're struggling. I was going to suggest thinking about what your ideal life would look like then seeing how you could work towards achieving the doable bits, but it sounds as though the first step would be to get a GP appointment to review your meds. As you said how serious the consequences were when you weren't able to get one, have you written a complaint/feedback to the practice manager? You must be seen and if their system makes that impossible then they must be made aware of it and what the consequences are. Or can you register at another surgery where it's possible to get an appointment? (Practices vary).

I agree with this.

What would it take for you to be on your deathbed and look back with contentment/satisfaction on the life you have led? You can make changes. You have choices. What's important to you? Is there anything you're passionate about? Anything you would like to achieve? What makes you happy?

So, I am 57, two Oxford degrees but got sacked in August this year. Am I miserable? no because I am not terminally ill although disabled. I have options, most of us do. I have had ppd but I sort help. There is no debtors prison (we lost our home, it was horrendous) but most people are decent. There is help out there. When my dd tried to commit suicide I suggested she tried helping others at our hospice. It saved her. She is reading clinical psychology at university now. Please talk to someone, GP, online counselling or your priest (they are used to none believers). I wish you well. X

@HadEnoughNow1 everyone keeps saying, there are so many jobs, job seekers market, blah blah. I have applied for so many jobs, nothing absolutely no positive replies.

This a thing with the medical aspects of depression. Before I was medicated I used to wake early with horrendous anxiety, take stomach pills to go to work etc. I was much better later in the day.

i'm still a realist 😂 but getting the medication right is so important. If you do have the money to see someone privately, maybe even a place like pushdoctor (that sounds funny) can help? Do you think you've got a med suitable for you needs?

one of the worst things for me, in my 20s, was listening to the Pollyannas. I certainly think you can get some enjoyment from life but idealists annoy me. If I was still trying to aim for the things I wanted from life, I would be miserable. It's been much better to go from a starting point of realism.

Yes to local priest
i'm a non believer, when dad was dying, the vicar and his wife helped far more than a counsellor could. They don't care about my beliefs, it's a community thing and a "take care of people" thing.

I was like this when I had depression. I think it’s not an uncommon pattern.

Partly for me the pressure was off in the evening, and going to bed was closer.

This time of year is also really hard going IMO.