Wedding guest drop outs

[MrMrsJones]

So we are 6 days from our wedding and have 5 people drop out.

Everytime someone says they aren't coming it costs us £85 plus the evening buffet cost pp

We didn't want two tier guests so everyone is invited to the whole day and evening.

Invited a year a go and invites sent out 6 months ago.

I feel like sending them an invoice.

AIBU, you don't drop out 6 days before the whole thing happens

This is a perfect example of people lucky enough to have money, wasting money frivirously thinking its a 'necessity' and completely ignorant of that the fact it is entirely a bad finacial choice not the norm.

I you honestly think you couldn't find a suitible jacket cheaper than £90 then I despair at the class system.

Thank you 😊 feeling a bit better.

We have a friend taking pictures so he is being fed and his wife, as is one of the band members again a friend, and the rest of the band will have access to the buffet before day guests.

Just answering questions as I go along.

We haven't asked for anything from anyone. We don't have a list or anything.

People have asked if they can get things or give money, we have said its not necessary, but if they insist then vouchers would be nice

So why say yes we'd love to come when we gave out save the dates, then accept the invitation, give us their meal plans, then just drop out 4 days before.

But it's not!

The package covered 80 people @ say £8.000

We added more people because they wanted to come @ £100 a head (if you include day and evening)

X4 so £400

• place names we had made

Then others have dropped out, but we still had to pay as it was passed the deadline.

Should have asked on the Style board, I vey much doubt the only nice jackets are nearly £100. Plenty of places sell unworn second hand or very good condition second hand too.
Yes some places have limited accommodation options, I'll concede that but there's often decent Airbnb options or nice B&B's locally etc. Yes perhaps you had a wedding where all but your hotel was grotty flea pits, I'm not disputing that. Just making the general point when people talk about how much they HAD to spend that it's often a lack of inclination to find alternatives because you can afford not to.
What was the present?

Why are people arguing over semantics?

OP has had to waste money by paying for people who said they are coming and now they're not. It's not a 'sale or return'. That money is lost.

If they'd not agreed to some in the first place, she would have an extra £500 in her purse.

OP - it's shit. The waste of money, AND the bloody headache of table plans etc.

I hope you have a fabulous time regardless 💕

Thank you 😊

I'm having my hair done and not thinking about it. If people drop out now then it their loss.

My DD'S friend had something similar happen. She was in tears about it. She'd catered for children and there was no restrictions on age. They could have hired the smaller room etc. I wasn't originally going but we rounded up five people, who all wished her well and filled the dance floor. A few others had done the same. We all gave cash gifts. In the end she had a good night. Except for illness/house fire/death, there's no excuse once you've accepted the invite and still agreed at the deadline.

but you paid £400 and recieved the items/service you paid for (you got the place names, the venue purchased the food) just because the person you where hosting didnt use it doesnt mean you lost money.

Its like buying a £400 gift for someone but they decide its not for them and give it away/sold it... YOU didnt lose anything, if they kept it (or in this case showed up) you would have still spent £400.

Its not lost money your just sad you didnt get value for what you bought.

It's so annoying.We'd a similar situation at my daughter's wedding. A few were impossible to avoid due to serious illness etc but others were just casual cancellations. The table plan and seating arrangements were messed up as a result and we paid for the meals booked a fortnight before the wedding.

Oh stop it!
Honestly.

Have you got a reserved list if so invite those instead

In my culture, if we couldn't make it to a wedding, we would give a red packet to the married couple. This happens even if the invite goes out very early and we responded at the time we couldn't attend. I don't know, it's hard when your culture doesn't do that kind of thing and you feel like you are out of pocket when they cancel. You should just suck it up, by all means be annoyed at them but there is little you can do. Just invite other guests if you need to make up the numbers.

We got married on Tuesday.

The morning of the wedding we had another few cancellations, I think 8 in total. Stupid reasons for some.

We had an amazing day anyway, the sun shone and we didn't stop laughing

Thanks for everyone's posts, supportive and not.

(The wedding cost us £400 more than it needed to, because of the extra dropouts)

Anyway done now

"The elderly person I can understand not fancying it. My mum post covid has almost become agrophobic about big gatherings of people."

If you don't fancy it, you don't accept the invitation in the first place! Once you've accepted, you go.

"100 gift per guest (so £200 per couple) is totally standard
Is this written down somewhere?"

Of course not and I would never pay such an amount. You give what you can afford after paying your travel expenses.
Neither would I go to the hairdresser or buy a new dress, unless I wanted a new dress anyway. You also don't have to stay at the hotel where the wedding is held and a B&B is not necessarily grotty.
People add imaginary expenses.

hahahahaha!!! sorry can't tell if this is a joke?

If not a joke, then absolutely not, and any recently married couples who complained they never got £100 gift per guest would not be looked on fondly here, they would be the ones named and shamed for being grabby. Did people actually agree with them when talked rubbish like this?

Any wedding couple I know are very much of the thought their guests company on their special day is the most important thing.

We didn't ask anyone for anything. Some people asked and we said they didnt need to but vouchers would be lovely if they insisted.

We had a couple of hundred, which was lovely. But it was more about people sharing our day. If people didn't want to, I wish they had told us sooner, so we could have invited others instead.