Nursery made DS take his glasses off

[GlassesWearer]

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

That happened to my son too, although the one with the reflections off the glasses were as bad.

But, I can top it! My daughter has a mole on her jawline, a flat brown one and the photographer thought he would remove it by deleting it and leaving a perfect white oval on her face. It looked stupid and we were all stunned. Obviously no-one had asked him to.

I thought we were past all this nonsense, I've worn glasses since I was a similar age and had all sorts of this rubbish. I would be livid.

Im a room leader in a nursery and would never do this! Nor would I allow any of my team to do this. If your child had chosen to take their glasses of that’s a different matter but if he’s upset about them being removed then I think it’s really unkind to force him to sit and be photographed when he’s clearly feeling uncomfortable. I don’t think they necessarily thought about the impact it would have on him as probably just wanted to get a lovely photo but surly a happy photo of him wearing his glasses is better than one where he’s feeling sad without. I’d definitely chat to them.

I'm sorry, I've only read a few pages of this thread so apologies if I'm repeating someone else.

Wasn't the recent Disney film Encanto praised because the little girl wears glasses rather than being a standard Disney princess?

So sorry about your little boy OP. My cousin's small grandson wears glasses and looks adorable in them, they are part of him.

And, like others have rightly said, his glasses wouldn’t change the fact he is beautiful! His glasses are something that help him every day so why should they be taken away because someone else decides a picture would be nicer without? You’re definitely not being unreasonable

Agreed. Whoever took that decision needs to be either disciplined or given equality training but even so, doesn’t say much for their common sense.

Wow. I didn’t anticipate so many responses. Thanks - I’ll have a word.

Hell no! That is so far unacceptable it's beyond belief. My smalls have had glasses since they were 8 months old. When there were issues with glare on photos, I asked for it to be edited to remove. This is likely the reason they removed the glasses. And it's an unprofessional photographer who agrees so I'd also be complaining to the photography company.

What a bunch of idiots - I would be furious. My DD wore glasses from about 18 months and we were clearly told that if she did not keep them on all the time she was awake she would lose the sight on one eye.

But to tell this child it would look better without them on for a photo!!! - what the actual!!?? We spent a lot of time telling our DD how beautiful she looked in hers - she is a mum herself now and wears them with pride.

I'd be absolutely furious. How dare they. 'It looks nicer' would they take a disabled person out of their wheelchair because 'it looks nicer'. Poor baby.

Kids in glasses are mega cute!!! Poor lad must have felt very disoriented staring ahead unable to see or focus.
I hope when he is older he can have some corrective surgery to lessen his vision problem. Even if he still has glasses generally, at least to get him to the poi t where he could see a little better and do sport without glasses. Ophthalmology is improving all the time.
FWIW the nursery acted really badly here!

I agree! ⬆️😡 I would definitely have a very strong word with them. How dare they??

Because it LOOKS NICER?? I’d be livid.

Absolutely not on. Nursery must be pulled up on this. Would the nursery remove a child’s hearing aid to make their photo glow? Would the nursery remove a child from their wheelchair in order to get the perfect pic? Your child’s glasses are just the same. They are an aid which he needs and they are a part of his identity, and only he has the autonomy to choose whether or not to remove his glasses. It’s damaging long term if your child is taught by school to associated his glasses as something undesirable.
I truly believe whether or not a child has a disability, a medical aid is not something which should be removed for a photo opp.

I'd make it clear to them they are not allowed to remove his glasses for any reason. Point out that they're acting like wearing glasses is shameful and they are making him feel vulnerable and scared. I have a strong script, I hate even just going to the bathroom at night without them, I feel really uncomfortable. I usually just take off to sleep and I hate it when I can't work out where I put them down in the morning or where I put my clear glasses if I've been wearing my prescription sunglasses. It's not ok and they shouldn't be touching his glasses at all unless he asks for help.

So some person at nursery decided he would look cuter without his glasses and left him not being able to see. I would be beyond furious and would actually want whoever did this to say sorry directly to your child because what they did was wrong, you have got to complain loudly. As others have said he has been told that not wearing glasses looks nicer than wearing them, what does that do for his self esteem.

School photographers are notorious for this sort of thing. My nephew had his birth mark filtered out, my son had his distinctive freckles filtered out and my son's friend had his spots filtered out! It's not a bloody glamour shoot! We complained to the school, but the head was rubbish and it was just brushed under the carpet.

Photographers should be capable of photographing a person who wears glasses. If they are not, they have no business charging for portraits.

I'd be creating merry hell in your position.

That was so thoughtless and stupid of them

he wears glasses for a purpose - so he can see. They aren’t cosmetic,they are functional.

imagine if they said this to a child who was already unhappy about wearing glasses!

Dont buy any and tell them why..
My ds wore glasses from 3 years old and they were part of his personality - I would be furious.

I had pictures taken recently and was asked to remove my specs due to ‘glare’. I refused. I’ve been wearing glasses for 22 years and they’re part of me!

This is shocking! So, according to them they'd take away a wheelchair, crutches, prosthetic, seeing eye dog, etc etc because it fits their screwed idea of aesthetic?! FFS I would raise holy hell!!!!

That is ableist!

It's not right.

They are sending the message that his glasses don't look good.

I'm torn between how you should deal with it. Is it a formal complaint which I think you have grounds for. Or is it simply asking them not to remove his glasses again 🤔