Nursery made DS take his glasses off

[GlassesWearer]

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

It wasn't a sensible thing for them to do but I would not go in raging. What will that achieve? It is clearly someone being thoughtless. Just say that you don't want them to do this again.

I would be fuming and suggest they do some training which challenges their ableist perspective.

Thats terrible. They should be telling him how good his glasses look for the photos, maybe showing him how to give them a little wipe so they are extra shiny & fabulous!

I’ve got 2 senior aged children who have both worn glasses since small. As others have said I suspect this is more to do with the photographer’s ability and the photos having glare on the lenses.

I would be absolutely livid if they did that to my child.

I would make a formal complaint tbh and no fucking way would I buy that photo.

I agree they need training.

That's appalling. I wear glasses, don't take them off for photos and no one has ever suggested I should.

Whilst it may have been well meaning, the nursery manager needs informing as ultimately their staff require further training. Who are they to say he looks better without his glasses, I'd be very annoyed if this were my child.

No. He needs to be wearing his glasses.

Tell nursery strongly and plainly that your ds wears his glasses AT ALL TIMES. And he has a spare pair for when they get broken (they will).

Just to make you laugh, my ds at age 5 broke his glasses at school because he was playing "aeroplanes" in the playground, and wondered what it would be like if his plane crashed into the wall!! Glasses came home in an envelope! Even then, I was a bit cross because I only lived across the road, and they didn't call me. I could have run over with his spare pair, but instead he was left without glasses for most of the school day. Children with very poor eyesight need their glasses on all the time. Including photos.

Ah your poor lad. What a horrible thing for them to do.

I wear glasses and actually hate how I look without them. I once wore contacts for my friends wedding and hated all the pics.

My ds2 has worn glasses since he was 6 months old (very strong lenses!) and no one has ever taken them off him for a photo.. and he's 25 now!
Nor his leg braces .
I wouldn't go in raging because that tends to be pointless, but I WOULD go in and be very politely cross.. and make it clear that they are a medical necessity not a fashion accessory and that saying ANY child 'looks better without' is NOT ON.

As a wearer of glasses myself from aged 4 that attitude really damaged my self esteem..I used to fumble around rather than wear my glasses because I thought I was ugly with them on.

We should be wayyyy past that sort of attitude by now!

I'd be devestated if nursery took my daughter's patch/glasses off for a photo.
Be very firm with them about how it cannot happen again and how disappointed you are with their decision making.

This has upset me reading this-i was your son, well i still am

very bad eyesight wih strong presciption been wearing thm since i was 18 months old-and the comments i used to get (sometimes still do

oh you look so much better without them said by many a teacher-why dont yo take them off

because i cant bloody see! everyone thought it was funny

please do say something theyre part of him an his character

did dh say why he didnt tell you about this at the time

It wouldn’t have occurred to me to remove the glasses for a photo. I wonder who did that? Teacher or photographer? YANBU!

I’d be seething at this! They made ur child upset deliberately because they wanted him to ‘look better’. Who do they think they are?!
and what kind of example r they setting?! U can’t be handsome/pretty with ur glasses on? Make it clear to them that he wears them at ALL times and in future any removal of them will result in taking it to the highest it can go! The only reasonable explanation to removing them is if he has an injury that requires treatment around the area (eye injury/bridge of nose/temples) but other than that they are not to be removed!

who are saying yabu-can you justify it

I'm fucking furious on your behalf and that of your wee boy.
Bastards!

No right to do that! What age are they living in?!

I would be fucking furious. I’d actually be worried about how seriously they take other medical conditions and consider removing him, their judgement is piss poor. I wear glasses and have a high prescription and as an adult I would be really scared and upset if someone took my glasses from me, I just can’t see without them. To do that to a child is awful.

My DP is an optician and is stunned that anyone would do that to a small child.

What world are they living in? Looks nicer???? Wow just wow

I’d be ripping them a new one. Absolute idiots.

100% speak up / complain.

If they’re otherwise nice people and a good nursery then it could just be a total lapse in judgement by 1/2 staff. But I’d be furious and making sure they know!

Good God No! Im pretty sure at this school they wouldn't remove a prosthetic leg....as the child would look "more disabled" without it and they couldn't possibly be having that.

It is outrageous that they took his glasses away.

I think that is pretty awful, but school photographers can be total jobsworths (with very little real skill) and may have told them there would be a reflection.

This

Depending on where in Kent you live, I think you'd be lucky finding a place now.

Didn't you get a feel at open days?

It's not snobby at all. You need a school that suits the whole family.