Nursery made DS take his glasses off

[GlassesWearer]

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

[MelodyPondsMum]

You are not being UR. That's actually really upsetting.
As you say, there's no point going in shouting because it's done but you could take in a note and ask for it to be put in his file saying he has to keep his glasses on for any future photos.

[Womencanlift]

If they had said to your DH we tried really hard to position him, with his glasses on, and avoid a glare but it wasn’t possible so we had to take them off then I would think fair enough

But to say it was because he look is not on. As a pp said you wouldn’t remove a hearing aid or any other supporting item so why glasses

They do need to be told and I would be making an official complaint

[IWasFunBeforeMum]

I'd be livid!!! It's like teaching kids that glasses make you ugly and as a glasses wearer from the age of 4, kids do NOT need that.

[WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps]

F*ck me, I am not easily shocked but that is abhorrent. The poor wee lad.

I bet he DOES look adorable in them @GlassesWearer as kids look so cute in glasses. 😘 But yeah, as you say, it's irrelevant as this should NOT have happened. As a pp said, it's ableist, and rude, and very offensive. DEFO have a word with the school. What a shitty SHITTY way to treat your gorgeous boy.

I'm so sorry..... Give him a fat squishy hug from me ... I could weep for him honestly. 😥

[PookyToots]

Absolutely horrendous behaviour from the nursery. This is no different from them removing a prosthetic, a white cane or wheelchair from someone. Now imagine the reaction if they did that! I'd hit the roof about this.

[CanaryShoulderedThorn]

@LivingMyBestLie

Depending on where in Kent you live, I think you'd be lucky finding a place now.

Didn't you get a feel at open days?

It's not snobby at all. You need a school that suits the whole family.

Eh? Snobby? Suits the whole family?
Are you sure you are on the right thread?

[Londonderry34]

So sorry, that is outrageous. Complain and then some.

[inpixiehollow]

sometimes glasses can cause a bit of a glare on photos? Maybe they tried then removed them to avoid that? Completely see your point though OP and although not the same I was upset when a photographer edited my baby's birthmark off his face as it's completely a part of him.

[whynotwhatknot]

@Confrontayshunme

I think that is pretty awful, but school photographers can be total jobsworths (with very little real skill) and may have told them there would be a reflection.

thats what i used to get but i cant bloody see so what if theres a reflction it happens

[Thurst]

Would they take the hearing aids off a deaf child? His glasses are part of him and should be celebrated he should not be made to think that he is less when wearing them.

[WonkasBooboofixer]

I would flip my lid over this ffs if a kid had a prosthetic leg would they have removed that no course not. There's always some fucker who thinks taking your glasses is funny when they know you can't see without them gives me the rage

[AdoraBell]

YANBU the only reason they struggled to get a good photo due to him being upset is because they upset him by telling him the remove his glasses. WTF would they do if he had a birth mark on his face? Ooh, let’s get him the have surgery to get a good photo?

Disclaimer- I may be a tad OTT because I had a dog PTS today, maybe ignore my last sentence.

[Sweetcaroline1234]

I have appalling eyesight and can vividly remember being made to take my glasses off for the nativity play in Year 3 because "angels don't wear glasses". I couldn't see any other children or the audience and still remember how upsetting and disorienting it was. Your poor little one!

[Feelingconfused2020]

This is so awful. As a glasses wearer I get so annoyed when people make comments about how lovely I look in contacts because what they mean is that I don't look as nice in glasses. The thing is I need my glasses or I can't see and I don't want to wear contacts all the time as they are uncomfortable. We wouldn't tell a person In a wheelchair that they should stand up for photos because they look nicer that way.

They will be giving the message to your boy as he grows up that he doesn't look as good as he would without glasses. He may be too little to pick up on this now but it won't be long and I would make it very clear to them that they are never to remove his glasses again or comment about his appearance with or without them on.

Agree with an earlier poster- it's ablist.

[Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals]

Unbelievable - my son had glasses from under two years old and would probs have fought to keep them on because he needed them so much. Your poor kid! Nursery needs retraining!

[EveryoneIKnowIsTired]

You are definitely not being unreasonable. The same thing happened to me when I was that age (I’m extremely short-sighted). I was so cross I wouldn’t let my mum put the picture up at home.

I cannot express how angry the idea of this happening to my child makes me. When your vision is like that it’s simply not safe to be without your glasses. And the child would probably feel scared as they wouldn’t be able to see.

[Maymaymay]

That is awful! Definitely say not to in future - what a way to make a poor child feel self conscious.

[SeenYourArse]

I’m absolutely apoplectic on your and your DSs behalf! I would absolutely wipe the floor with them how dare they make him temporarily blind to suit their aesthetic for a photo! Inferring to him and everyone else that wearing glasses is in some way a negative thing 😡 huge huge mistake that needs some serious repercussions.

[Suncreamqueen]

My son wears hearing aids. I remember seeing a photo in his younger years where they’d airbrushed them out I thought.

Obviously now wondering if they just took them out 😩

yanbu op. Totally out of order. & how distressing for him 😡

[Iamnewhere]

I'd complain, how rude and stupid of them. Poor child. They need to get them retaken for you.

[berksandbeyond]

As a mum who wears glasses (and has done since I was 3) I'd go mad about this

That's really terrible

[PumpkinPie2016]

That's awful - I would definitely complain!

Firstly, how dare they say they feel he 'looks nicer without them'. His glasses are part of him and I'm sure he looks perfect with them.

Secondly, they need to appreciate that for someone who wears glasses all of the time, it is very disorientating if they are removed. I wear glasses and wouldn't feel secure walking around without them.

[Wibbly1008]

Omg. If he had a wheel chair or callipers would they take them away?! What a cheek. Speak to them immediately about this, it’s terribly concerning.

[Betty000]

Absolute bastards. Poor little DS. YADNBU