Nursery made DS take his glasses off

[GlassesWearer]

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

No, I had it done on the NHS. As my sight was very bad, I got them to do both eyes at the same time; It would have been very difficult being short-sighted in one eye and not the other! It was amazing when I woke up and could see without glasses. I had a check-up at the optician six weeks after the op, and got a new prescription.

On what planet is teaching children that they look better without glasses "the right thing"?

A child that age with multiple sets of aids does not have them for a laugh. If the nursery staff can't grasp that then they are not very good carers.
The child became distressed when they took his glasses away - unsurprising as its very frightening to have your sight largely removed by the adult who is supposed to look after you. Its bad enough when kids do it and the adults around them just laugh it off as "hi jinks".

NTFT so apologies if I’m repeating, but it was probably to do with lighting and reflections. It’s really hard to photograph people with glasses without getting reflections that mask the eyes. It’s doable, with lighting and positioning changes, but that all takes time and presumably school photography is a high volume exercise.

It doesn’t make it better for you, and is entirely the wrong message to be giving the kid, but it likely was done with the best intentions - of getting you the best picture in the limited time.

I would probably speak to both the school and the photo company to explain how it was out of order, and reinforce to your kid in whatever way you can that they’re wonderful.

Never heard of any professional photographer insisting someone removes their glasses because it’s impossible to handle the light.

One of my siblings had the same surgery on the NHS. They replaced their lenses so they no longer needed glasses and contact lenses. It was part of a trial.

This has made me angry and sad for your poor DS.

I'd be raging.

WTF? What do they say to children in wheelchairs or with a prosthetic limb?

find alternative provision and make a formal complaint to OFSTED?

If you read the OP first post the nursery stated it is because "it looks nicer."

It took a couple of female newsreaders to wear glasses on TV about a decade ago before it became socially acceptable for people, especially girls and women, not to be ashamed of wearing glasses.

I have friends and acquaintances in their late 30s upwards who still feel a stigma in wearing glasses due to the shit they had all their life about glasses not looking nice. Some ended up with eye infections due to insisting on always wearing their contact lenses.

The funny thing for me is in early 20s I started knowing people who wore glasses with plain glass lenses either due to their job or because they wanted to change their look. So I didn't inherit the stigma of some my friends and acquaintances.

I also know people who studied photography like my own DP or are photographers, amateur and professional.

So if someone in a childcare setting or school pulled that stunt on my own 4 year old e.g. she looks nicer with them off, they would have to deal with my anger.

@sueelleker and @RedWingBoots Thanks so much for your responses and huge apologies for going off at a tangent on this thread . I will ask my optician about this at my next check up. (Seem to be unable to pm posters but thank you both so much )

I'd be interested to hear their response!

@RedWingBoots

No need to be snippy. I did read the OP. Just because that was the nursery’s stated reason, doesn’t mean it was the real one. The the photographer might have used it as an excuse to avoid having to deal with the faff of re-lighting or explaining the issue to the staff and kid.

I wasn’t suggesting it’s something that can’t be dealt with, just that in a high volume, time limited environment, the photographer may not have had the skills / inclination / time to fix it and took a shortcut.

doesnt matter if it wa glare-ive heard it many times i feel vulnerable wihtout my glasses i assume so does op ds-its not a fashion accessory its our sight

She isn't being snippy - she is telling you the facts. The OP tells you the reason was nothing to do with lighting and any half way competent photographer can cope with glasses. If they can't find a photographer sufficiently competent then they are not looking hard enough.

Stop excusing casual disabling and poor quality care.

How's is stating the facts snippy?

Asking someone who is replying to a post if they’ve read it, is snippy.

When a PP decides to invent a completely different scenario to that described the OP its rather more polite to check if they have read the OP than assume they are too stupid to understand it.

YANBU to have a word. Hope they didn't say that to your DS, that he looks better without them. Wee soul. I would be fuming.

any update op been thinking about this since you posted

@GlassesWearer
Did you speak with the Principal ?