Nursery made DS take his glasses off

[GlassesWearer]

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

Absolutely disgusting.

The thing is that, even if he did look objectively 'nicer' without them, he doesn't look like him. They may as well go out and get child models from TV adverts to pose on behalf of all of them - "Here's your picture of your daughter"; "But that's not my daughter?!"; "No, but she looks nicer than your daughter does, and we wanted the best photo possible."

I've known adults in the past to take their own glasses off for photos; never really understood it myself, as it then doesn't look like them, but that's their own choice. However, telling a child that an essential part of his 'look' - an aid that enables him to see - isn't nice to look at is nasty - I'd say PA bullying/abusive, tbh. I wonder how they'd like it if you requested one of the staff not appear in next year's class photo, because you don't think she's as nice to look at as the other staff members and spoils it.

I'm guessing it was lazy photography. He probably had a glare on them and they were too lazy to raise the light up or reposition him. Often those nursery photographers aren't all that trained for things like that.

(I'm a former photographer)

How DARE they?!

Utterly disgusting! I'd be in a face to face meeting with the nursery manager, asking about their EDI policy, and requesting whichever member of staff decided he looks "better" without them receives a fuckton of training.

It would have been offensive if they'd asked you - but to do it without any parental input is arrogant, offensive, and utterly unacceptable.

yanbu. I’ve never seen mn so united

They've covering up their shit photography.
Nearly all our school photos last year kids with glasses had a white line through them from the glare. Parents complained. But in no way should they have had to take their glasses off. Photographer needs to do his job properly. The school have a different photographer this year!

How awful for you son. His glasses are part of him

I would be fucking fuming at this OP. Absolutely livid.
your child is beautiful just as he is! My daughter had prescription glasses form ages 1 due to bilateral squints and being very longsighted, the glasses are part of her as far as I am concerned as she needs them to bloody see!
Whag an absolute set of dickheads.

This is outrageous.

That is horrendous. The poor wee soul, as a glasses wearer myself I know how he must have felt.
And I thought DD's nursery were bad for changing her out of her bright leggings and top into a frilly dress on photo day because 'they thought I must have forgotten'

I would be fuming !! I actually am fuming that they did this to a little boy who’s only 3
I would defiantly raging with school about this and make sure you tell them NO-ONE takes your child glasses off again

I can’t believe it even occurred to them to do that! I can imagine how upsetting you’d find this and the nursery needs to be told how wrong they were.

How awful. Little ones look adorable in their little specs, and it is really scary as glasses wearer if someone takes them away, poor little chap.

I’d be incandescent, how fucking dare they ! What sort of lessons are they teaching children at such a young age ?

This was horrible, absolutely you should say something, they need to know its not OK so they don't do it again.

YANBU. That’s utterly gross. And my guess, as the proud “owner” of a glasses wearing kid bet he looks way cuter with them on.

My dc took hers off not to look nicer but because there was a reflection in them so you couldn't see her whole eye they tried many angles, are you sure that's not the case?

Double check what they meant by 'look nicer'. As a glasses wearer I know that sometimes in professional light the glare obscures my eyes.

I remember my brother often having to take his off for school photos because of this.

Really though they should have tried to reposition the light

I wouldn't be happy.

People always laugh when I say 'I cant hear I havent got my glasses on', normally if someone is speaking to me while Im giving my glasses a wipe

I have a mega strong prescription and cannot see faces even close up without them on, but if I dont have them on I am utterly disorientated, all my senses are affected and I cant really respond and wouldnt be able to do something as a small child aiming myself for the camera and following instructions

It was incredibly hard for me to get my passport photos taken in the booth because I couldnt see what on earth I was doing and felt wobbly and disorientated without them

So its not just about how awful it is to decide for him and you that he looks 'better' without them, the act of taking them off and expecting him to engage with the process of the school photos will have been quite stressful

Obviously no real harm done but I think that people who are not as short sighted as some of us really have no concept of what its like to take them off

Poor kid! That's awful.
I would be telling them what I thought.

Angry on your behalf OP.

How horrible of them. And when I’ve worked in nurseries photo day is already stressful and can be scary for the kids, some random man or woman plopping you down under bright lights and sticking a camera in your face. Hardly going to be a comfortable experience when you’re blinded to boot. What’s next? Stick a hat on them to hide the strawberry birthmark on their forehead? Dump them out of their wheelchair so it doesn’t clutter up the group shot? It’s not nice at all. I’d be mentioning it to them and of course saying you don’t want the pictures because why would your son want to look at a memory of a time when he was unnecessarily upset.

Morons.

YANBU! That’s horrendous

This.

I am furious for you @GlassesWearer!

YANBU I remember a few years ago there was a big uproar about a disabled child sat seperate to his classmates in his wheelchair. Poor boy stuck out like a sore thumb like he wasn't part of the class he looked so unhappy. They did take another photo and in the second one he was sat on a bench amongst the other children. He looked like a different child. Tell the school you want the photo taking again.