To ask for your quotes from narcissistic mothers

[itsgoodtobehome]

Slightly tongue in cheek. My DM is a total narcissist which I'm mostly used to now, but every now and then she comes out with a new classic which makes even me wince.

So, next weekend, DM has invited me and DSis and our families for lunch to mark a family birthday. 9 of us in total, including kids. DM was telling me the other day what she was planning to serve for lunch. She mentioned a particular thing as a starter, which is quite an acquired taste. I know for a fact that my DDad and DH don't like it, and the 3 kids won't eat it. So basically 5 out of 9 guests don't like this dish. I told her this was a bit of a waste.
Her response: 'but I have planned this menu to look a certain way, and it won't look right if I don't make this dish'

So she is quite prepared to have most of her guests not eat something just so her menu 'looks good'. I give up. Has anyone else got batshit mothers who only think of themselves and nobody else?

It's so true. Every Mother's Day I look for a card that basically says: "here's your card that you'll kick off if you don't get"
Impossible.
I've often mused on a line of cards for crap mothers.

Ha ha, Bridge that gap in the market.

I have know since I was tiny that I had a big brother who was still born at 32 weeks and how I was mum’s desperately wanted replacement baby. Essentially her dolly.

I know a lot of her behaviour stems from trauma and grief but she is very controlling and used criticism as a weapon to make me feel too small and scared to leave her.

Eventually I broke free. The first time I watched Tangled I cried and cried because it felt so relatable (except I am not really a princess and my mum’s main goal in life is to use me as an emotional prop forever).

"There are no bad men in the world, only bad women".

"There is no such thing as rape, a man is entitled to have his pleasure".

(She hates women)

"Everyone says I'm wonderful".

It's Mothers Day again and here's your bloody card
To find one without the shmaltz was very fucking hard
I really didn't want to buy one, but I knew you'd probably whinge
And I know secretly that you rue the day I came flying out of your minge

There you go

Oh, god, the Hollywood rewrite, sometimes within mere minutes. It’s terrifying and sad at the same time. To admit it means they have to accept that their own personal narrative is false and they can’t do that because otherwise the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. But it leaves you questioning your own memories and sanity. As my therapist said to me after a particularly bad episode where I was doubting myself, “One or two memories, sure, but a whole childhood? No-one could fabricate that.”

I’m so sad at this thread. We’ve all been through so much and for our mothers to do these things to us means they, too, went through hell to make them that way. That really is unutterably sad. But at least now we can talk about these things publicly, now forums like these exist, we can learn from it, accept what happened wasn’t our fault and stop the cycle being passed to our children too.

When I told my DM I was pregnant with DS she cried on the phone and wailed ‘who will look after me now you are so selfish’ she was 64.
When said DS was born i had a tough time but not really life threatening ( pre-eclampsia, emergency caesarean, little milk and medication that turned me into a zombie) DM said I will come and clean your house for you coming home. She came to the hospital dressed to the nines in a mustard silk blouse and posed for photos with the baby (none with me) before insisting my DH take her out for dinner to a fancy restaurant which she had already booked. No cleaning was done and she was disappointed with DH as he wasn’t very entertaining!

😂😂😂😂👍This is great.

Well said

It's so true. Every Mother's Day I look for a card that basically says: "here's your card that you'll kick off if you don't get"
Impossible.
I've often mused on a line of cards for crap mothers.

I had to buy you this ,
It's more than you deserve
You always take the piss
And get on my last nerve
So Happy Mother's Day
Even if it's just a lie
And all I want to say
Get to fuck, Goodbye!

🤣🤣

I got mine a card that said 'I am who I am because of you"
Let her ponder that one.

The day I returned home from hospital after giving birth to my first child (her first grandchild), I had my mother screaming down the phone demanding to know when I’d be taking her shopping and doing her washing as she had no food or clean clothes (I’d done a huge food shop for her the week before as well as all her washing). I told her she’d have to wait until I was back on my feet, and got a response of ‘of course, your precious baby is far more important, silly me, I’ll just starve until you can be bothered’ and hung up. She was perfectly capable of doing it herself, but preferred me to do it all for her. Not once during the call did she ask how I was doing, or how her grandson was, it was all about her.

I could list 100 other things she said or did over the years, including blaming me for my dad’s death when I was only 16 (he died in hospital from a heart attack when I wasn’t even there).

She passed away in March, and I still wonder what I did so wrong for her to treat me the way she did.

My mum was very happy that my dd didn’t sleep until she was two, because apparently I was the same and I deserved to experience those sleepless nights.

You don’t need to have children. Your sister’s had a girl and your brother’s had a boy, so I don’t need any more grandchildren.

After DS1 was born: You don’t need to have any more children on my account. I have enough grandchildren.

I was forced to go to the GP as a teenager because my acne was apparently so bad that my M could not bring herself to look at me. She told me I looked dirty, completely undermined my confidence and then used my lack of confidence as yet another stick to beat me with. I was on antibiotics for years that made no difference, possibly because I didn't have acne. I, like most teenagers, just had a few spots.

Also when I was 8 she beat me because my sister failed an exam and she was furiousthat people would think we were all thick. My sister was boarding on the other side of the world, so I was the only one to hand.

@WalkingOnTheCracks i have to completely agree. I had no idea there were so many horrible narc mothers around. I know I’m blessed mine isn’t but this has really opened my eyes. Very sad.

My husband on life support, decision being made to turn it off, she phoned 4 times. No not to check on me or her GKs but checking I could still take my dad to opticians check up the next day, as it was too difficult for her to do it.

A year later when both our DC were to be in uni, I explained that I could no longer give her money towards bills (no we don’t live together). She kicked off as it’s my job to look after her & my dad as their only child.

As u can probably tell, many other stories too!

At the start of the pandemic ‘your sisters only young she can’t die of covid, I’m so worried about her catching it. You and DB I’m not worried about but she is my youngest’ she’s 25, healthy and no underlying health conditions

thanks mother me and Db will die knowing you won’t be too sad lol

God, that’s dreadful. I’m so sorry.

Try Scribblr, @OhamIreally - they do a great line in exactly those cards.

I’ve never been brave enough to buy this one:

www.scribbler.com/Cards/Seasonal-Cards/Mothers-Day-Cards/Mothers-Day-Cards-by-Style/Rude-Mothers-Day-Cards/Be-A-Bad-Parent-HM1049/

All it needs is to write ‘…and it worked!’ inside and it would be perfect 🙃

Don't have another one you can't cope... on my first baby...

That’s so horrible @LaughingCat The bit about Mother’s Day when you were 4 😞 So sorry you went through that.