To ask for your quotes from narcissistic mothers

[itsgoodtobehome]

Slightly tongue in cheek. My DM is a total narcissist which I'm mostly used to now, but every now and then she comes out with a new classic which makes even me wince.

So, next weekend, DM has invited me and DSis and our families for lunch to mark a family birthday. 9 of us in total, including kids. DM was telling me the other day what she was planning to serve for lunch. She mentioned a particular thing as a starter, which is quite an acquired taste. I know for a fact that my DDad and DH don't like it, and the 3 kids won't eat it. So basically 5 out of 9 guests don't like this dish. I told her this was a bit of a waste.
Her response: 'but I have planned this menu to look a certain way, and it won't look right if I don't make this dish'

So she is quite prepared to have most of her guests not eat something just so her menu 'looks good'. I give up. Has anyone else got batshit mothers who only think of themselves and nobody else?

I hope he (my brother) doesnt marry her. She'd give me such ugly grandchildren. 😂

"The trouble with your kids, Greensleeves, is that they're too comfortable. You need to traumatise them a bit."

Telling me I was so fat that if I got pregnant I wouldn't be able to walk, and I had to lose weight first

I was a size 14 at the time, she was a size 20

She has written the 'Sheep is fat' narrative so firmly into the family lore that every time I see my sister she congratulates me on losing weight even though I am the exact same size, because in everyone's head I am about 2 sizes bigger than I actually am.

She also told me the reason I can't have children was God was punishing her for something she had done wrong. Because even my infertility was about her of course.

Me: I'm having to use really heavy concealer as my acne is flailing up again.
Mum: I HATE thick concealer!
Me: Me too but my acne is too bad at the minute not to use it
Mum: I don't have acne
Me: I know, I do
Mum: my skin is extremely clear so I hardly need to use any make up
Me: yes but I have acne and need a good concealer
Mum: my skin is very clear

"It's the your responsibility to pay childcare from your own salary. DH's money should be his own as he works bloody hard"

(My mum doesn't like women)

How did you not just knock her out? It's making me rage just reading it, my mother could be a bit like that, but nowhere near as bad.

Me, taken to hospital as couldn't feel my legs - also used to have morphine prescribed for back pain

Her-( visiting me one day later in hospital)
God, you're such a drama queen, BIL is MUCH worse than you. HE has to lay on the floor at night due to HIS back pain

This is just ONE example.

Said to my sister “ you were born stupid and you will die stupid”…

Now you may not earn as much as sibling 1 or sibling 2 but at least you have job security (said to a front line nhs worker during the pandemic when siblings were at risk of redundancy)

When I lost my baby at 12 weeks.
I know you aren’t good at opening up but I think it would be really good for you to talk about this and how you feel. Not to me though, I don’t want to hear about it

My brother moved to Aus in 2017. My parents went out to visit in 2019. I had asked my M how their holiday was.

Keep in mind that my brother had taken them around all the attractions close to them and would have wined and dined them. Best of the best. My parents wouldn't have taken their hands out of their pockets at all. All she said was, "wouldn't have been the kind of holiday I would have picked for myself". Nothing about getting to spend time with her son...

With restrictions lifting earlier this year, my brother's in-laws had been out not so long ago. I asked my M if she had any plans on going. She mentioned due to health concerns, the flights may not be for her. Which is fair enough. I said there's many places in the middle that they could maybe visit together. She replied saying yes and was interested in a multi-stop tour around Asia. Yet the flights to Aus were too far

Asking me if I ever considered how me being groomed, raped, abused, and physically injured (throat was cut) at a young age had affected her....

My mum with a life long history of narcissism called me mentally retarded today for asking my dad if his feet weren’t boiling in his trainers in this heat and if he wanted his sliders out 😳 she proceeded to say I’m nasty and just say things that should be kept to myself and moved away from me saying I’m just like my dads mum (who she hates) for what it’s worth I’m autistic and can say things out loud I should just say in my head but I still am struggling to understand what I had done wrong today as I was to my knowledge being thoughtful

Some of these are unpleasant comments but not narcissistic.

When I was about 11 she randomly turned around when we were on a walk and said with a scowl 'would you want to be a lawyer when you grow up?' I said er, not thought of it but yes, maybe?' She gave me a nasty look and said 'That figures, you have a really big head'. We weren't even having a conversation before hand, I'd been just enjoying the scenery.

Weird....

The one that really sticks with me, is when we were having a heated discussion about her close family member having sexually abused me, and the sweet fuck all she did about it, was 'well, did you ever think about how hard it was for me?! How do you think it made me feel?!'

I'm really sorry, I know its not funny but its exactly what my mum would have said.

The man who abused me as a child was eventually jailed for it, I was utterly traumatized from the trial and questioning and reliving it etc. My mum looked me up and down and said "well, you got what you wanted"

Jinx!

Oh my god my mum said the exact same thing to me when I lost a little boy at 24 weeks, she then fell out with me when I turned to stay with my now ex mil and got support from her mentally and with funeral arrangements etc saying we were all just being over the top why were we having a funeral etc and said I was mentally unstable

My God there are some psychopaths out there...

The most narcissistic behaviour from my mum is that she will control our relationship by the amount of kisses on the end of her text messages
Xxxx = I'm OK
X = I'm in trouble
None = Then I know she's blocked me and I need to grovel for family peace. Usually no idea what I've done as its so minor.

My mum threatens NC at the drop of a hat

I'm always on eggshells. It's exhausting

A year after my dad died, I found out when I was twenty weeks pregnant that my baby had a very rare condition that meant he would live 30 minutes at most.

My mother's first comments:

"Just as I thought things were getting better for me" and "I suppose you told your sister before me".

Thirty years ago and I've never forgiven her.

My birth story. I'm basically a prop in the story of how I nearly killed her, and she was happy to think that she would surely get to heaven if she died giving birth as it's the ultimate sacrifice a mother could make. So I grew up with serious guilt and shame over that. Oh and she told me that DDad only wanted 2 kids (I'm the third) and he was really angry when she got pregnant. Then he was really angry when my birth nearly left him with three under three alone...

When DS asks about his birth, we tell him how excited we were to go to the hospital, how it was the happiest day of our life.

I don't tell him it was agony, or that I failed to dilate, or that he went into distress so it was an EMCS. I don't tell him that he was rushed to NICU when he was a day old and I was freaking out. I don't tell him that he was originally a twin but I lost his sibling in the first trimester. Those are things you might tell them as an adult when they are old enough to understand that they didn't cause any of it.