To ask for your quotes from narcissistic mothers

[itsgoodtobehome]

Slightly tongue in cheek. My DM is a total narcissist which I'm mostly used to now, but every now and then she comes out with a new classic which makes even me wince.

So, next weekend, DM has invited me and DSis and our families for lunch to mark a family birthday. 9 of us in total, including kids. DM was telling me the other day what she was planning to serve for lunch. She mentioned a particular thing as a starter, which is quite an acquired taste. I know for a fact that my DDad and DH don't like it, and the 3 kids won't eat it. So basically 5 out of 9 guests don't like this dish. I told her this was a bit of a waste.
Her response: 'but I have planned this menu to look a certain way, and it won't look right if I don't make this dish'

So she is quite prepared to have most of her guests not eat something just so her menu 'looks good'. I give up. Has anyone else got batshit mothers who only think of themselves and nobody else?

I'm adopted so that's a double whammy.

Women despising other women is part of the patriarchy.
Recruiting hapless handmaidens go on to support the ideal.
The "who does she think she is", Jezebel", " tart" , lazy, all those ideas tear down women, pit women against women. It is ugly.

'I don't want to be a grandmother!'

Wailed at my older sister when she confirmed her first successful pregnancy after multiple miscarriages.

My Ma was adopted but still seemed to take pleasure from speculating with my blue eyed, blonde haired sisters (like her) that green eyed, brown haired me (like my dad) must be adopted.

Oh I have a few.
My brothers children are younger than mine.
We will call my brother A
Quote from mum
"oh I thought your two kids were gorgeous until As kids came along" 🙄

Another gem from my mum questioning my intelligence. We will call my husband Z
" I've realised you aren't as clever as I thought.. Z Really is the cleverer one in your family"
Yea so true but jeez

I had the i do love you but don't like you
Also I had been married a few months and rang my parents to tell them im expecting and my mum said im not sure how I feel about this ring me back at another time.
When my dd was abused well she brought it on herself she was 12 😔

I remember when I was in hospital having been beaten up by me ex and suffering from concussion she said well I give as good as I get

wtf and he is a black belt in jujitsu

she only turned up because the nurse called her my neighbour had called her and she told her to tell me to call her once I got home

it will be a relief for me when my mum dies I think about it often she is like a weight around my neck

Various things come to mind my Dm said
I won't get my figure back through having you

When I had my first baby and was finding it difficult she chortled 'now you see how I felt when I had children' Get yourself to the doctor if you can't cope.

When I said to my MIL of 35 years that she may have to sell her home to cover her care costs she spat out 'YOU are just a third party when it comes to MY family'
I just shrugged and thought 'well you're fucked sunshine when it comes to sorting the best care for you as your DGD and me are in that Profession....so crack on you poisonous old bag'

During a particularly epic gaslighting session, I pointed out that me and DH had had found things particularly hard during lockdown with no childcare and working full time.

“oh the pandemic really has been awful for EVERYONE”

You don’t understand how stressful tomorrow is for me- I’ve had to do my hair and nails and my eyebrows all at the same time so that I look good. I’m going to be the most nervous person there waiting to see how everyone reacts to my outfit when I walk in. It was my wedding.

I've got so many, brought my younger sister, aged about 15 to the clinic after my termination. It was a swanky clinic, just happened to be closest available.

They sat there and oohed and ahhed about the menu and facilities. Genuinely seemed to think I'd been blessed in some way....

I could tell she was desperately trying to think how she could weave 'Jaho's been in x clinic, yes private, lovely service' into one of her coffee morning conversations

As a 22 year old I was beaten and raped by my OH.
My face was injured and my mother didn;t want me to come around in case her neighbours saw me.
"And" she said, " if your husband beats you , you must learn ways to make him less angry".

How long have you got?

My Mum is hilariously awful.

Not a quote but my Mum threw a birthday meal for herself on the weekend after her birthday for all our family. That was my birthday. I went as all our family were too busy for my birthday as had already had these plans. Didn’t mention it was my birthday at all or say happy birthday to me. When we were paying my Grandad offered to pay for me as it was my birthday which was nice. But none mentioned it when she blew out candles on her cake etc 😂

Your mother would love my mother in law!

Christmas at her house a few years ago with my then boyfriend (now husband) I had lovingly made from scratch a body butter scrub.

Her: what is it?

Me: it's a body butter scrub to help DFH with his dry skin. I made it myself

Her: OH MY GOD that would be terrible for my skin!

DFH: She made it for me mum

Her: I would hate that, my skin is so soft

Dfh: it isn't for you

Her: oh my god look it has bits in it! That would be so rough for my soft skin (caresses her arms to make the point)

Dfh: Dfw made it for me because I have rough skin, it isn't for you

Me: Mum I’m having a miscarriage.
Mum: Oh dear. What have you done to cause that, I wonder.
Me: Nothing it just happens sometimes.
Mum: Oh well of course I had four births and no miscarriages. But I was always very careful about my health.

just one example of many hundreds. Very low contact now.

Her favourite 'joke': 'The doctors said Elegantly could be brain damaged because she was so premature... And they were right!' (tinkly laugh). Highly amusing, not.

She also told my young goddaughter, after I'd told them my Italian penpal had been thrilled to finally meet me, that there must be something wrong with said penpal. My goddaughter (who did, and still does, think I'm great), had no idea how to react.

She couldn't cope with people thinking we were anything other than perfect, and hated the fact I was a nail biter. She asked the pharmacist about it and was horrified he said stress at home was the usual cause of it. How could I possibly be stressed? The fact that my dad had died when I was young leaving me with a depressed mother and narcissistic bully of a sister was all immaterial.

Not my mum, but my mum's mum (granny) is narcissistic.

When a family relative died she laid out all their expensive things and said it was "just like Christmas!!!" because she got to inherit them. When my mum cried and pointed out their relative had died, she told my mum she was being selfish.

Also told my mum "she has huge, pendulous breasts that droop down to her knees" after having us. Recently told my mum her tummy looked the same size as mine (I'm pregnant). My mum has an amazing figure - but my gran has always made comments like this... There's worse ones, but that's just a few examples

@sanityisamyth I truly think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. I hope you had kinder people to look after you.

Oh! Also - once at a family gathering handed out "euthanasia" booklets to an elderly relative we all loved but she didn't like (mainly because we loved her). Her behaviour has always been a bit gobsmacking...

“People always tell me I make everything about me… but let’s face it, in my world it really is all about me, so what’s wrong with that?”

…Couldn’t argue with her

Jesus fucking Christ!

Oh, and when I was pregnant at uni and unmarried (gasp!) she told me I should ride a bicycle more as if I lost the baby it would probably be for the best.