Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

It's the expecting them to travel 700 miles for it (which, contrary to some batshit comments, will not take 4 hours each way but will very likely be a whole day's travelling each way, with the necessary food and toilet stops and inevitable traffic jams, road works etc.). Usually wedding guests are compensated for the hassle and expense of travelling to the wedding by the food and drink provided, and the prospect of seeing friends and family and having fun with them. OP's DH and DC won't even get that! And they'd be squished onto an airbed in an overcrowded hotel room. Why should they have to, when the "D"B isn't willing to budge an inch?

Gosh, you do get about! And Turkey next week, too.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4604803-to-ask-you-to-whinge-about-family-holiday-behaviour-with-me

I think to me it sounds like because it isn't going to be the way you expected. You are looking for excuses

You need to go alone.

Can you get a lift.. Drive... Train? Bus.?
It's your brothers wedding get a grip and organise yourself

Read my replies.

I checked flights, they weren’t suitable.

Should I have asked Ryanair to put a special flight on for me?

And have my ever been to the Highlands?

Which again OP mentioned herself so what's your point?

Yes

Op's already discussed that holiday @milkyaqua.

You and Endlesslypatient need to do some more digging about in the Op's history.

I have messaged him. HTH.

My BFF and my other brother would never, ever not invite my kids in the first place so it wouldn’t be a problem

It is a lot of travel in a space of a few days. Oddly cannot organise way out of wet paper bag on own in home country, though.

This thread has provided all the high-quality batshittery that I have come to expect from the very best MN threads <sighs happily>

Thanks, OP. Oh, and YANBU. Utter madness.

It's the expecting them to travel 700 miles for it (which, contrary to some batshit comments, will not take 4 hours each way but will very likely be a whole day's travelling each way, with the necessary food and toilet stops and inevitable traffic jams, road works etc.).
Totally. I drove the 220 miles to my parents last week and it took me 6.5 hours. Made one stop for about 30 minutes in that time.

Yes it did. Read my posts.

You are clearly being unreasonable, op. I'm sure there's a flying carpet you can rent or piggy back on a Highland cow.

Have you even asked a stranger on the street if they'll watch your kids for a fiver?

🙄

Honestly, it sounds pretty impossible and I'm totally with you not leaving your children with people you don't know.

But if you eat the mini ones very quick, they meltiness is perfection! That Callipo much just means you get greasy orange slime down your chin

"The kids would hate to be split up"

I'm afraid you lost me at this one. Don't be so ridiculous. You are just coming up with any old excuse not to go now.

I meant own fact that you just don’t want to go.

and that is fine op!!! You’re on an anonymous chat forum!

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet no I saw that. The flight wasn't suitable. If it had been say there was a direct Logan air for 100 quid you still couldn't have got it though? Because you'd still have the problem that you would have landed in Inverness and apparently can't get any further? So why even check? That's the question I asked that wasn't answered. Yes I've been to the highlands plenty as I live in Scotland and travel up there a lot hence how I know about the mini services busses etc

Do you children always go to play dates together?

I don’t live in the south (that example was a hypothetical) and yea DB lives in Scotland.

Have you ever visited remote parts of the highlands?

If by "cannot organise" you mean cannot magically fix her injured leg, cannot magic up a spare grand for flights or cannot get picked up from a train station that is still a significant distance at both ends you might have a point.

This has fuck all to do with organisation and everything to do with huge obstacles in her way.

If it was me in her position I could just about get there by taking a significant chunk of money out of savings and travelling for hours and hours. But I wouldn't feel obliged to any means. I would explore all the options as OP has and decide it wasn't worth it, as OP has.

If she hadn't wanted to go why did she arrange childcare and a hotel room?

Exactly my thinking.

We’d have to fork out for restaurant meals for everyone and only 1 of us being catered for, when there will be no wiggle room at all from DB.

It was a typo, but then I realised it was appropriate 😄

Ah @milkyaqua somebody already got there before you up thread! Never mind