Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

Not weird at all. There are some huge obstacles to getting there, and as such you don't want to go. Everyone gets that. It's why I don't believe you're being unreasonable.

Far less repetitive than people suggesting she drive herself or get her whole family to sleep in an unavailable hotel room.

The world isn’t going to end if OP doesn’t go to the wedding. The groom DB doesn’t sound too much of a peach anyway so there might be a third wedding in the offing at some point!

This is MN. When you post on here you're opening the door to all kinds of opinions; batshit or wise. So don't get snarky when the majority don't side with you!!

This thread is pointless.
You have been given so many good options. It seems like you are angry that the children weren’t invited as that’s the only way you would go now.

I think you should send some money to him to cover the costs they have paid for you, you shouldn’t have committed to going and it’s not fair to tell them you are not 1 day before.

I can’t believe the replies on here! If he plans a no kids wedding some people can’t attend. And sometimes that’ll be a last minute thing. It’s just the way it is. There’s no need for you to spend ridiculous amounts to get there alone OP. If you can make it work, great, if not, don’t worry about it!

Some of the comments here are so rude to the OP. It’s not like this is an hour or so up the road

The comments from a few pp to other posters are worse. I hate to see posters getting abuse and name calling when they're trying to help. It's crap forum behaviour.

I can’t believe some of the woman on here

It's not just women posting. Mostly, probably, but not exclusively.

Since when was encouraging people to get themselves into debt with severe economic crisis on the horizon considered ‘trying to help’.

The OP has never said she just doesn’t want to go. She has made it clear she doesn’t want to go BECAUSE OF the many conditions now present due to the childcare falling through.

I suspect there are a lot of bridezillas projecting on this thread and a whole bunch of folk who haven’t got their listening ears.

But she's just offered to get the train to Inverness if someone from the family can pick her up.

It's in their hands now.

This is absolutely the most bonkers thread I have ever read on MN in years.

The seriously hard of thinking MN-ers are out in force.

Judging by the total lack of understanding of the realities of public transport/hotels in rural areas, I seriously hope that none of the posters have jobs that require any level of basic comprehension.

why are you not just ordering a same day delivery matter transporter from Amazon?

get a pilots license

Sorry your plans have been scuppered OP.

I've finally got to the end of the thread! The bride and groom sound awful but I don't think you are doing enough, OP. Have you considered:

hiring a boat and steering it round the edges of this island
magic flying carpet
see if Usain Bolt is free and can take you on his back
that 'beam me up Scotty' thingy
hand glider
swimming
motorbike
hot air balloon.

(This is actually one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read. You have the patience of a saint. I definitely would NOT go and YADNBU.)

🙄😳 Some of the replies on this thread. I’m surprised some of them haven’t asked to see the OP’s bank statements, proof of leg injury etc. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, OP.

This would be my take on it too.

OP is not being at all unreasonable, but some of the responses on this thread just beggar belief. Not everyone has dozens of suitable childcare options on tap (we certainly didn't either when ours where that age), and not everyone has a bottomless money pit that they can spend on trains, taxis, public transport and hotel rooms at the drop of a hat.

Not everyone lives anywhere near a train station or with regular buses from just outside their front door. Even if they do, not all destinations are reachable by train or bus. Are people really unable to comprehend that this could be a problem when getting to a venue in the arse end of nowhere?

OP, you have gone through all reasonable permutations and it isn't working out. Your groomzilla brother is being an arse. Personally, I would tell him that as you now have no realistic or useable childcare and the children are not invited then you will not be coming.

As for your brother arranging childcare with his friends, just no! I would never have left my young children of that age with someone that neither they nor I had even met before. He could get to fuck with that!

Actually, I like the suggestions regarding floo powder, or teleportation etc. Or I suppose you could learn to apparate (another method of travel from the Harry Potter books). They are about as realistic as most of the other suggestions on this thread.

As I said, I probably just wouldn't go. I'd be too pissed off at them all and I would be finding it far too much hassle anyway.

"This is MN. When you post on here you're opening the door to all kinds of opinions; batshit or wise. So don't get snarky when the majority don't side with you!!"

93% YANBU.

Apologise I shouldn’t of put just woman!

@ESCALT have you ever studied maths? 93% have voted the OP is YANBU

Total strangers isn’t ‘sourcing childcare’.

Abyway he hasn’t replied to me (well he has to say he will see what he can do but nothing since) and it’s too late now to set off to Leeds from here (I’m not going unless I have the reassurance I’ll be collected from Inverness by someone tonight) to catch the last trains so looks like I’m staying home and everyone will have to get over it!

But the bulk of the posts in the actual thread find the OP unreasonable. Go figure.

Since when was encouraging people to get themselves into debt with severe economic crisis on the horizon considered ‘trying to help’

The idea might be a poor one, but yes, people were attempting to get the OP to the wedding. They thought they were helping.

The OP has never said she just doesn’t want to go. She has made it clear she doesn’t want to go BECAUSE OF the many conditions now present due to the childcare falling through

Yep. I think everyone realises that.

I suspect there are a lot of bridezillas projecting on this thread

Why? There are a faint few posters who mentioned an obligation to be there, but not many. The majority are just posting about travel etc. to try to help the OP.

Entertaining nonsense

It's like Twitter. A few vocal loons create the perception that the rest of the public has similarly taken leave of its senses.

HAHAHA! Yes I could leave DH in the hotel room, strap a COVID mask onto the stacked up children and instruct them to spend the day pretending to be their dad, saying things like “tablet? Do they mean fudge?”, “We have too many forks on the table Lydia” and “Football just isn’t the game it once was”.

Theyll fool everyone 🤣

For the benfit of the utterly ignorant posters who have clearly never been beyond the bounds of the M25 here is a picture of a typical A road in the Scottish Highlands - note the passing place.

Are you including those who are expecting the OP to fork out huge sums of money, leaving her children with strangers or leaving them with her brother who wasn’t invited to the wedding (which is insulting in my book) @milkyaqua

And I suppose many posters don’t think they need to explain why OP is YANBU because it is quite obvious

Anyone else getting wedding hair ads to the right now