Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

Well it was affected. So there you gi

Do they? I don’t think they do personally.

I think there’s a group of posters determined to post repeatedly about how outrageous it is the OP won’t take their (expensive time wise and financially) advice.

But the bulk of the posts in the actual thread find the OP unreasonable. Go figure.

I don't think I voted, but I would have voted YANBU. don't think OP is unreasonable in not going. But the endless excuse making for not going is silly, although amusing.

Also that if she really wanted to go she'd have realised the train was a possible option hours ago before it was conveniently too late, instead of getting confused about ticket prices and train operators and strikes etc.

It’s more the demanding “huh?” “Well are you?”. If someone spoke to me like that IRL they’d be told to fuck right off

What were the good options exactly?

Yet 93% think she's not being unreasonable? Where did you study maths (obviously badly!) that makes you think that the majority disagree with her?

you forgot the sheep!

It's clear she doesn't actually want to go. Fine, don't go. I wouldn't want to go either! It's just a 101 versions of yeah, but... and making it retroactively her "D"B's fault for having a child-free wedding. That is unreasonable, I think.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Or how about this……..maybe if the arsehole brother getting married actually cared about his family enough to invite his niece and nephew in the first place (because OBVIOUSLY faaaamily is important), OP wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.

There’s so many idiotic BrideZilla’s on this thread, it feels like the Twilight zone. 😳

This thread is insane. Your DB booked a child free wedding in the middle of nowhere. You have children and can't drive. When you book a child free wedding you have to accept that means some people can't go. When you book a wedding in the middle of nowhere you have to accept some people can't physically find a way to get there that isn't prohibitively expensive.

You booked someone to look after your children and it fell through. The only other person that could look after them is also your only form of transport that you can afford. Your brother has to put his big boy pants on and suck it up. It's an invite not a summons. Tell him you'll happily get in a taxi if he sends you one and pays for it! By some of the comments on here if he isn't willing to do that then clearly he isn't that fussed about wanting you there.

No but I am getting Trainline ads 😂 Trainline are probably wondering why 47 people are searching Leeds to Inverness leaving today but no one is booking 🤣

But the endless excuse making for not going is silly, although amusing.

Can you define the difference between excuse and reason? It was pretty clear to me that the OP had good reasons not to go, not "excuses"

The OP has looked at loads of options, but none of them were practical.

Honestly, I think most posters don't know how difficult it is to get around the highlands of Scotland without a car.

But if her DB had invited yhe children yhd problem would never have occurred. I never get the child free wedding business. I've only ever come across them on here and I'm in my 60s and been to loads of weddings. My DCs generation are all getting hitched now and not a child free wedding in site.

the arsehole brother

This thread has some of the maddest replies I've seen in a while!

Does your DB have multiple MN accounts by any chance? 😉

Missed the post where the OP has messaged her brother to see if someone could pick her up from Inverness late tonight and is waiting to hear from him

An unreasonable OP, I think, because of the drip feed that she has a leg injury and can’t drive after the first half a dozen posts advised going by herself. The fact that the leg was only mentioned afterwards makes me smell a “I don’t want to go” or at the very least “I don’t want to go alone” rat.

This will become a news story and chances are at least someone in attendence will read it. I wonder how many highland weddings with a no-child policy are happening tomorrow.

Oh fuck off, I'm judging by the comments I didn't even look at the polls as I didn't vote. You couldn't come near to my math skills.

God, there are some thick twats on this thread. And lazy ones, who think their time is too precious to read the OP's posts and make the same point that's been addressed 300 times already! This assumes that other posters time isn't so precious!

OP, it sounds like chickens are coming home to roost for Groom db and sil - in insisting on a child free wedding and excluding their own families children, they have alienated the bride's sister and now the groom won't have anyone from his own family there, bar his mum!
He's been completely inflexible and quite nasty.

MN is batshit sometimes - it seems to hate weddings but simultaneously thinks posters should turn themselves into a human pretzel to accommodate the demands of people who would do Jack shit for you!

Stay home and don't give this another thought. In a few years, if your fb has more kids, he and sil sound like the types who will kick off if their kids aren't invited to every single thing!

No, I didn't miss that post. I just didn't take it seriously.

1. I wouldn’t leave kids with people they don’t know
2. I think it is u fair to get SIL to babysit as bil is CEV and unwell
3. depending on nature of injury - I would leave DP at home and go myself via train/taxi. If necessary I would just stay for the ceremony then go. Therefor I would have made an effort to be there even if inconvenient for me. But I can sleep on the train back. If I was not able to go, I would send DP to ‘represent’ our family (show we made the effort and wanted to be there, but due to unforeseen circs - leg injury and bil illness, could not make it).

Can you define the difference between excuse and reason? It was pretty clear to me that the OP had good reasons not to go, not "excuses"

I think "well I didn't figure out that the trains were half the price I claimed they were despite multiple people telling me until it was too late to go anyway, oops" is definitely in the excuse not reason category. But I have no interest in arguing with anyone who disagrees!

Oh no that’s my sleep lost tonight 😭

@milkyaqua ah so creative writing instead