Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

Ugh I hate posts like this, how fucking rude! Don’t ‘huh?’ Me.
Not answering your hypothetical question. The kids aren’t gonna be invited. The end.

Amazing thread!

Anyone suggested yet that you stack your younger dc on the shoulder of the older, put a dress over them and take them to the wedding as one adult?

And now she has to magic up a support network. Off you go OP. Go source your network.

You are not being unreasonable. You've explained to your brother why you can't go, so wish him all the best but don't discuss it with him further.

That would be the ideal solution, let's hope your ever-so-upset family can step up.

Could you pop to Halfords and buy a bike ?
if you start pedalling now , you would probably get there in time

Seriously though , @LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet I agree with you.
Its a wedding , a second wedding at that , miles away and only half the family invited
You can’t go , you definitely don’t need to send a huge gift as was suggested earlier , and I hope you can get a refund on the hotel room
( I’ve never been to the Highlands , but live in rural Wales and know what public transport is like , there is also a sad lack of Premier Inns and Airbnb isn’t cheap )

Excuses? No, good reasons practically and financially why a myriad of suggestions aren’t practical or sensible.

She could spend a lot of money but it’s not really sensible or practical. If you’d be happy to spend a huge chunk of credit or savings on attending a wedding more power to you but a lot of people would rather make sure they can pay their bills.

There’s something really distasteful about encouraging a complete stranger to ignore their financial obligations when you haven’t the first clue about what their situation is and just want to impose your personal priorities on them.

I could be wrong though

A person who wanted to go would check for herself if Cross Country is one of the operators on the chosen journey.

Anyway you've succeeded in producing a massively entertaining row on this thread, well done, I am divesting!

The venue isn’t near Inverness. That’s just the nearest (big) station

One was dirt cheap the other was a re-book from 2020 when we couldn’t go due to COVID.

Not that I owe you an answer

Gosh, you could have pedalled all the way to Scotland with the amount of energy you've put into making excuses for why you can't possibly go, and refuting reasonable alternatives and solutions (joking, of course you couldn't pedal there, with that bad leg...).

Good for you. I presume you'll save on petrol money (a bit) so hopefully it won't cost too much to get there by another means. If he says no, then at least you'll have tried a solution

It’s not my nearest major city, it’s just accessible.

Please make sure that if he comes back to you with a lift you’ve also got one to cover the return journey.

if this place is as rural as you say, taxis might not even be a reliable option to get back to Inverness.

If you can’t go then don’t go. Simple as that either your brother will understand or he won’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

I vote YANBU! Don't go op...you've got bad leg, it's not an easy place to get to and as pp have said, when you have a child free wedding it comes with the risk that people may have to drop out at the last minute due to child care issues. If he wanted you there that badly he'd make an exception and also invite your children.

Totally irrelevant and there were posters all through this thread from people telling her to do xyz that would cost £££££s.

So yeah, they are idiots. If the cap fits and all that .....

If you do decide to go OP, look at the train price to Edinburgh and then onwards. Splitting is often cheaper. As is booking form York rather than Leeds.

I don't think you'd be unreasonable not to go through.
And some people's grasp on UK geography is laughable. I live in Aberdeen and it would still take me the best part of four hours to get to this wedding. Good luck doing it from Leeds

You're not unreasonable at all. Your plans fell through that's it. I wouldn't just fob my kids off on anyone just to attend a wedding where they weren't invited. Guests are supposed to made to feel welcome fgs - weddings are becoming such a major PITA.

All the jokes about the zany ways the op could get to the venue are really fresh and not at all repetitive everyone, keep them coming. 😃😃😃

Some of the comments here are so rude to the OP. It’s not like this is an hour or so up the road

I can’t believe some of the woman on here

Eh??? I also wouldn’t want to go if the only way to go was to fight a dragon and get punched by a gorilla. That wouldn’t mean “oh so yo don’t want to go then”. What weird logic.

Yabu - I don’t see why you are so against your husband just taking the kids somewhere local to the wedding for a day. I know it’s nice to have your husband there but you’ve already said he doesn’t know your brother so he isn’t really missing out and you can catch up with family and have fun while he spends a day doing something fun with the children.

OP - you say that you’re “not Elon fucking Musk”….but have you even TRIED being Elon Musk? It doesn’t sound like you’ve even considered exploring this option. Mind boggling.sounds like you just don’t want to go, tbh.
😁

I genuinely have no idea where everyone is getting tested for covid atm..can you even still get covid tests? LFTs?!

well you can buy them and I’m pretty sure you can still access them if your CEV or a HCP requests you take one.