Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

Wow, some people on this thread really want you to go to this wedding for some reason. And even criticising your parenting decisions

Ignore the weirdness, OP.

YANBU OP. If your Brother really wanted you there so desperately, he'd make a plan so you could all could be, even at this late stage.

We weren't having a child-free wedding as such but as it happened nobody was planning to bring theirs as everyone with DC lived very locally to the venue so babysitting for the few hours wasn't a huge challenge. A few days beforehand a friends' childcare fell through and it was a choice of make space and provision for 4 primary-aged children, or at least one of the Adults wouldn't be able to attend.

Quick chat with the venue, shuffle of the seating plan, 4 sets of colouring books and pencils ordered off Amazon next-day, everyone was happy. It was a joy to have the kids there.

God half the people on here must be trolls.

You've tried, it's fallen through. Yes there are solutions but they both too expensive and too complicated.

Proper laughing at the suggestion that you reimburse your brother for not attending.

Don’t go, and stop feeling guilty about it. Your brother is being precious and will have to metabolise his disappointment - or allow his nieces/nephews to attend. His call.
Don’t let another guilty feeling enter your head (and secretly enjoy not spending a fuckload of money).

@ThorsBedazzler 🤣

I've an idea - Just don't go.

I would move heaven and earth to see my brother get married even if I only made it to the ceremony

Works both ways though doesn't it. Conversely my own brother would ensure his own nieces and nephews were able to attend his wedding, especially if my attendance depended on it.

^This^

A reality check mostly as my mum and brother are acting like the world has ended. My SIL-to-be is very upset too, apparently

Night before. She's sad they'd have to leave at the 5.30 am.
You could run into traffic jams, roadworks.
A two hour journey recently took me 5 hours because an accident closed the road. I would have missed the wedding.

Why don't you all go to the town the wedding is in but only you go to the wedding? Or do the whole thing on your own by public transport?

Surely, surely, no one else is going to come on to a thread that's 400 posts in, and offer up a solution that's already been proffered with an explanation as to why not given?!?
Are the people who only read the op and then must give their opinion immediately, the same people who in a conversation simply wait, not listening, for a tiny bit of silence and thus their turn to speak?

Seriously though:
DB not prepared to invite his nieces and nephews.
OP accepts this and has tried to sort childcare, but not prepared to spend £££ on trains planes and taxis or troubling friends and relatives with her kids.

Neither are unreasonable.
Should be the end of it.

OP happy to miss the wedding - not insisting the DCs invited or anything.
But DB is spitting his dummy out about it all
So, DB is the one being unreasonable.
<gavel>

@felineweird maybe read the thread

Imagine the reaction if OP started a thread:

“AIBU to leave my asthmatic children with random friends of DB who I have never met so I can go off galavanting to a wedding”.

He’s really not budging and I’m not asking yet again! It we would either have to sneak them in or get a new hotel (I hate doing things like sneaking people in to hotels, I’m such a goody bloody two shoes!)

😂😂😂 post just above mine!!

After 17 pages of suggestions and none of them working for you due to welfare of children, expense and time running out; I would say you don't go

Ahh another that has read and understood the OP's posts / responses

Can you not make it to your mum’s and travel with her?

Not upset enough to accept your children at their wedding, though, it seems.

I’m going to suggest you tell your db you’ll go to his next wedding…

I wonder this too!

I'm surprised hire a nanny hasn't been suggested 🙄 or private jet maybe......

Where are you finding those ridiculous train prices. It’s £160 return on trainline?