To make child pay for his own uniform?

[Unifrom]

My child is 8 and is very unorganised, he’s constantly losing his belongings at school and with the cost of living I can’t keep up like this. They never get found/returned despite them all being labelled.

The latest thing is his fleece, that costs £19. Went missing on Monday and hasn’t been handed in, need to sort it. He gets pocket money at £2 per week and saves this up to buy something big, so he can cover this.

Me and DH can’t agree on whether he should have to pay for the cost of a new one out of pocket money.

So AIBU to think it would be a good life lesson for him to have to pay for a replacement? Or is he too young to have to pay for his own uniform?

I can’t believe you even had to ask the question I think it’s disgusting it was even a passing thought he’s 8 years old😳

What precisely do you think staff at schools do 😱 Ffs.

As another pp said the law is changing soon so school uniforms need to be affordable. So replace with generic supermarket clothing.

Yes I would find that very difficult. Christ.

Could you not apply chores instead? It used to be that children got grounded or had to do chores

We need more parents like you OP not less, some of these responses are ridiculously.

🤣

Words fail me.

I get the frustration. DS was the same. I made him pay £8 for his fourth lost tie recently but he’s in year 8.

At most I think I’d say this weeks £2 goes towards the cost of a new fleece but I don’t think I could actually go through with it.

Best tip anyone ever gave me is buy a fabric marker pen and write his full name on the inside of the back of the fleece. I did it to jumpers too on the inside of the collar. Can’t be cut out like a name tag or label. Things started turning up with much more regularity after that.

Out of interest, at what age is it acceptable to place these sort of consequences on him?

I made mine "work" for the cost of repeat lost items. First one was replaced free, thereafter they had to so stuff like iron school shorts at a nominal £1 per shirt.

no actual money changed hands but they did have to "pay"

I'd say yes if he got more than £2 a week tbh - I think people are being excessive to think you are shockingly mean to punish him in any way - but it's too many weeks pocket money to lose. I'd definitely say no pocket money this week, though.

Would it help to mark his stuff really obviously? From threads over the years here about stuff going missing in schools, I know some people sad they make sure the names are outwardly visible on the garments/ shoes etc so if is a case that another child or parent is light fingered, that might stop them.

This is something I implemented after year 7 in secondary school (and it worked!) but I think age 8 is too young.

...said, not sad!

I would maybe take £2 for a replacement, one weeks pocket money. BUT, next time. I'd have a chat about responsibility and the cost of things and just say, here's a new fleece, you must look after it or next time you'll have to pay £2 pocket money for it. Ask him what might make him remember his stuff and take care of it better, see if you can come up with an idea together.

With expensive items like PE kit/jackets etc you can get their initials put on the front of them for a couple of quid at a sports shop, no one would have the brass neck to wear them

Going against everyone here too, I would withhold 2 weeks pocket money I think. It's a parents job to teach our kids to be responsible. Especially if he looses things often. I do think the whole £19 is too much though , and too much to pay for a school fleece tbh.

Not everyone, there are a few of us saying exactly this.

Slightly off topic, but are the fleece or other more expensive items part of the uniform? Depending on how strict the school is you might be able to mark it in a discrete way. When my DS was younger and finding it hard to look after his things I sewed a very small bright red patch on the outside bottom edge of things like that. It not only helped him locate his stuff, but also meant I could spot when someone else had accidentally put it on.

I have had an issue with loosing things my whole life. Lost all my qualification certificates including degree certificate. I was well behaved at school although I day dreamed constantly. I was diagnosed with ADHD last week. I am a trainee teacher so hopefully medication will help with loosing things.

I can't believe there's a poster cheerleading the OP withholding almost 10 weeks of pocket money from an 8 year old, just for being forgetful. God help that poster's children. What a massive overreaction.

Withholding one week's pocket money or getting the DC more involved with chores is much fairer.

Too young for the monetary punishment. If he were a teenager, I would let him pay.

Cruel to even consider this as a possibility

I agree with this. Withhold this weeks. Don't buy a new fleece yet. Tell him if he can find the fleece on Monday he can have the pocket money.

I think that would be really mean, he's only 8 years old. I can understand it's frustrating for you and you want to teach him to be careful and learn the value or things (hopefully stop losing items too ofcourse) but this isn't the way in my opinion.