To make child pay for his own uniform?

[Unifrom]

My child is 8 and is very unorganised, he’s constantly losing his belongings at school and with the cost of living I can’t keep up like this. They never get found/returned despite them all being labelled.

The latest thing is his fleece, that costs £19. Went missing on Monday and hasn’t been handed in, need to sort it. He gets pocket money at £2 per week and saves this up to buy something big, so he can cover this.

Me and DH can’t agree on whether he should have to pay for the cost of a new one out of pocket money.

So AIBU to think it would be a good life lesson for him to have to pay for a replacement? Or is he too young to have to pay for his own uniform?

Yes there should be second hand uniform so it’s U to make him buy it new, if there’s no second hand uniform sales just buy an unbranded alternative and if the school complain you can explain that his uniform keeps going missing and never gets found or returned.

There are surely cheaper alternatives to making an 8 year old buy an expensive fleece.

😱 Why do the school staff pack his bag?

Yabu. The problem isn't your really still quite young child. The problem is the school requiring that he wears specific expensive clothing in order to access education. Tell them you've lost it and can't afford another one. They're creating this problem for you. Return it to them to solve.

But it WILL happen again @Unifrom because your child hasn’t got the skills needed to stop it happening.

He is 8 not 18 for god sake... you have a legal obligation to provide the nessaceries for him.

Legally its your responsability he goes to school.

Legally you must provide suitable clothing for him (otherwise neglect) and the school require uniform to attend.

Therefor legally you provide a suitible uniform for your child to meet your legal requirement on you of sending him to school.

This thread is amazing. Its the schools fault for making him wear a uniform like most other schools, it's the teachers fault, the other children are thieves, he may have sn. Or he's a 8 year old boy who is careless with belongings and old enough to have some sense of responsibility maybe.

If you do buy new, then buy any replacement second hand.

I count myself very lucky that out of three kids, our first missing item was trainers in Y8. And tbh, I don't much blame DS, he's literally never had to change into PE kit in school until this year, every other year they wore it in.

I bought him new ones but did tell him that if he wasn't more careful, he'd be foregoing some pocket money next time. Probably not all of it because I'm a soft shite, but some.

I'm glad you've decided not to make him pay. But I would address some of the general carelessness by removing items that are missing pieces and definitely NOT replacing them!

It’s a depressing little snap shot but it doesn’t surprise me, these kids will hit senior school with no sense and that’ll be the schools fault too

Just because other schools demand uniform doesn't mean it's okay. A child's ability to access education should not depend on their parent buying/a child not losing a fleece. Or a blazer. Or a-pair-of-black-dress-shoes-in-non-trainer-style.

YABU. Even the title of this thread makes me emotional! He’s way too young for this.

Are you ok?

Unless the law has been changed very recently, uniform in primary is not legally enforceable. The child can attend in any clothes.

8??? Are you absolutely insane?? Of course you can't make him pay for it!

Too young

also, my constantly losing things 8yo didn’t get a SEN diagnosis until age 10.

even without a diagnosis, you have to accept that kids have different strength and weaknesses. If you know the expensive coat is likely to get lost, get an AirTag or similar device and sew it into the lining. Transfer to the next coat as they grow

You do know thst children who are having things stolen by the class bully get really good at hiding what is going on? I left it on a bench is easier to say than snotty johnson took yet another thing from me and I feel really humiliated.

And yet.. they enforce it. We were threatened with my DS1 being placed in a week long detention because I'd had to send him to school in his trainers for a couple of days as I couldn't afford to replace his knackered school shoes until the weekend.

Yes YABU. He’s 8.

While I think that taking 10 weeks pocket money would be too harsh I find the responses of many on here quite bizarre.
He’s 8, not 2 he should be having some responsibility for items and the fact that he loses and breaks things at home too suggested he’s just irresponsible and doesn’t care.
It’s interesting that a few posters have said that their kids stopped losing things after being forced to pay for lost items. If it was ‘just what kids do’ then punishments would make no difference.

I think you should take your frustration out on the school for charging you £19 for a fleece.

I wouldn't make him pay but at this point in the school year I wouldn't replace it either. If he's a bit chilly... well, it's May. He won't die of it and a bit of tolerable discomfort may teach him a lesson. Natural consequences!

(obviously this assumes you live in the UK, not in the Arctic Circle or high in the Himalayas)

Wow 😂! You'd find our house quite difficult, I think. I made my 5yo hand over some coins from his piggy bank when he broke something horsing around the other day. But he's a robust little beast treasure and doesn't appear to have been scarred by it.

I wasn’t really expecting some of these responses acting like I’m evil to be honest. Out of interest, at what age is it acceptable to place these sort of consequences on him? I’m not one of those parents that thinks he can do no wrong, and I want to raise him as a well rounded individual that respects his belongings and the value of money. He’s a smart boy, he’s just simply careless.

I understand that making him pay the full £19 out of his pocket money sounds unfair, so I won’t be doing that - although he probably does have more disposable money than me right now.

I spotted a hat at the school, had a look inside and it had DD's name in it, and the dozy staff member said she'd wondered why DD's hat was lying around (I hadn't noticed it was missing and it hadn't occurred to them to give it to her) so despite them telling you it hasn't been handed in, it's very worthwhile having a look through the lost property. There might even be an old fleece without a name in that you could 'borrow'. Oh, and YABU. A week's pocket money is still too much to forfeit, imo.

Don’t take your ‘frustration’ out on the school OP