How do I find out if someone has died?

[MissingThemDearly]

I know this isn’t the right section, I’m posting for traffic. PLEASE don’t move it, I am so desperate for help.

Realistically, how would I find out if someone is dead? I have a gut feeling they are. But I don’t know any information apart from their first name (which is common) and the city they live in (which is large). They were last seen on WhatsApp last month, which rules out that I’ve been blocked as it wouldn’t show that info if I had been, and their phone just goes straight to voicemail when trying to call. This is literally the only information that I have. I know it’s a big conclusion to jump to death but I have a gut feeling, and this is somebody that I was in contact with every four or five days without fail and now nothing for ages. I know the company they work for, but it’s a large supermarket chain and I don’t know which one or where it’s located.

This person is also Muslim. I add this because I don’t think funeral announcements are made locally and available, like other religions are, just in case anyone suggests that.

Is this a lost cause? Any advice or help would be appreciated, thank you in advance.

All deaths are registered and the register is a Public Document. Therefore available to the public. Copy of certificate can be bought.
It takes a while for the national one to be updated. (can be 3 months)
But, it will be registered at the Local office. The same Registry Office that deals with weddings.
Minor snag; the death is registered in the are it occurred not where they lived. So hospitals might be in different district to their home.
Local Govt websites will give details of how to contact.

@politics4me and OP doesn't know their last name?

OP, I know you don't want to give out identifying details - which is understandable - but sometimes a piece of information you give may be insignificant to you, but actually quite significant to someone else.

Is there a reason you'd worry about them driving? Most likely, it's a straight up ghosting

If you have their full name and they were involved in an accident you can search the local paper where they live, it's bound to have been reported even if it's not with a name and there may be identifying details. A month could be phone issues, if they couldn't afford to replace and/or didn't have your details saved elsewhere

I think possibly they were contacting you using a second phone number and they have another phone. They have since stopped using the second number.

I think possibly they were contacting you using a second phone number and they have another phone. They have since stopped using the second number.

Or they simply got caught by the wife/real GF.

If you know there was an unfortunate accident, I believe you can find such information in the local news.

WhatsApp and Facebook are linked, so searching using first name and location might bring something up.

Are you the OW?

If this person is someone you have been romantically involved with then it is far more likely that you have been ghosted

They may have used a different mobile for contacting you than the one they use for the rest of life and have not disposed of the phone or switched it off

The fact that this person shared no identifiable information with you would also back up this theory

@WTFCanIDoAboutThis

Are you the OW?

As if the OP is going to disclose that even if it were the case when you can virtually hear the knives being sharpened.

I can't imagine many OW are in relationships with people whose last names they don't know.

@MissingThemDearly

My mental health is completely fine, I’m not in any trouble, or danger. Tbh I made this post in a helpless bid as I couldn’t think how else to find out if someone was dead with only a bit of information and so to ask a large group of people by making a post on here. I didn’t ask, or want, advice or questions about the background of the OP, I just specifically wanted help as asked in my OP. I am honestly fine and don’t need any help on anything outside what I asked. Contacting local mosques is a good idea, thanks to those that suggested that.

Or a Muslim cemetary

What did you talk about. If you were talking fairly often then there must be some clues to his life.

I think you've been ghosted op.

Intrigued to know why you think there might have been a car crash, OP? However, that sort of death might have made the newspapers, so have a good google.

You could give the local cemeteries that have a Muslim burial area a call. They're quite used to 'is this person buried here' type enquiries. Make sure to include a rough date of birth/death (even a year can help).

Can you not search for them on Facebook using there phone number?

I don’t think it’s a ghosting situation as I have known this person for 9 years. There would be no reason to ghost me, we had talked two days before the last date it says they were last on WhatsApp. I tried the Facebook phone searching number thing as suggested but nothing came up on there.

9 years and you don't know their last name? That's really odd.

How on Earth do you not know their surname? All I can think of is googling ‘Ahmed + death + Birmingham’ for example and seeing what comes up? Checking the local police Facebook pages? Searching Facebook for ‘first name + city’ and trawling through all the millions that come up?

In nine years they must have given some clues about their lives

I can see why people are finding this odd….knowing someone for 9 years but not knowing their surname is odd!

@Dixiechickonhols

A fatal car crash will be in local news. I’m reading it as op borrowed £20 off him? Any unusual hobbies? A poster recently found an old work colleague she feared dead through recalling his daughters name & unusual hobby. He was alive and well abroad and happy to hear from her.

Oh, I was following that thread, but can't find it now. I'm glad it had a happy ending

OP, this is a strange situation. You’ve known this person for 9 years. You know what they look like as you’ve obviously borrowed a £20 off them. Yet for some reason you didn’t know their surname or where they lived specifically. I can only assume you knew each other through addiction recovery or some other support group that encourages lots of boundaries to avoid codependency within the group.

As others have said, a fatal car crash would be news. Even just first name + car accident + city would come up in Google searches if he were killed that way. The chances are less than 1% probably, based on the proof you have. More likely, he got a new phone number. My friend did and her WhatsApp still just says the last date she “checked” in (so “Last online August 7, 2021”) on the old number.

What a weird situation

People do say trust your gut.

but generally dont bother to point out guts are wrong 99 times out of a hundred........

@VainAbigail

Why is your gut feeling that they’ve died in a car accident? What’s bought you to that conclusion?

Yes I was going to ask this as well. That’s a big conclusion to jump to with absolutely no information whatsoever.

Alternately there was a thread on here no so long ago where the ops long distance friend had stopped contact suddenly. She was worried something bad had happened and it transpired that her friend “had” died in a car crash.

Ring any bells?