How do I find out if someone has died?

[MissingThemDearly]

I know this isn’t the right section, I’m posting for traffic. PLEASE don’t move it, I am so desperate for help.

Realistically, how would I find out if someone is dead? I have a gut feeling they are. But I don’t know any information apart from their first name (which is common) and the city they live in (which is large). They were last seen on WhatsApp last month, which rules out that I’ve been blocked as it wouldn’t show that info if I had been, and their phone just goes straight to voicemail when trying to call. This is literally the only information that I have. I know it’s a big conclusion to jump to death but I have a gut feeling, and this is somebody that I was in contact with every four or five days without fail and now nothing for ages. I know the company they work for, but it’s a large supermarket chain and I don’t know which one or where it’s located.

This person is also Muslim. I add this because I don’t think funeral announcements are made locally and available, like other religions are, just in case anyone suggests that.

Is this a lost cause? Any advice or help would be appreciated, thank you in advance.

It is possible they could have just got a new number and not disclosed it.

Do you not have them on social media or anything?

This is all very dubious.

My mental health is completely fine, I’m not in any trouble, or danger. Tbh I made this post in a helpless bid as I couldn’t think how else to find out if someone was dead with only a bit of information and so to ask a large group of people by making a post on here. I didn’t ask, or want, advice or questions about the background of the OP, I just specifically wanted help as asked in my OP. I am honestly fine and don’t need any help on anything outside what I asked. Contacting local mosques is a good idea, thanks to those that suggested that.

Have you searched social media for their first name and location? I appreciate this might take some time though if it’s a popular first name.

Do you know any of the people they live with? A Google search of first names of people who they live with might bring something up

Also see if the local community has an online paper. Our community does & while not every death is posted, a lot are.

Has their contact picture changed on WhatsApp? It's possible that they've changed numbers and given their old phone and number to someone else. In other words, just because u can still see them active (or not) on WhatsApp, doesn't mean it's actually them.

You used to be able to search for Facebook profiles by phone number I think?

There’s not many adults who’d need to borrow £20… is/was this person living in some desperate circumstances?
Any why a car crash? Could they afford to run a car? I sure there’s ways of finding someone if you know them.

Car accident is a strangely precise theory?! A more believable "gut feeling" would have been if you knew that person had physical/mental health problems or other life issues that would increase their chance of mortality. Being convinced that someone died in a car accident is quite morbid and speculative to be honest.

But for what it's worth, the number of fatal car accidents that happened in a one city over the past 4 weeks is definitely low enough for you to be able to research that online. They usually list the age and sex of the victim, and you might be able to piece something together.

And lastly, it's not unusual at all for people to suddenly disappear from one day to the next, leaving no contact details or ways to reach them. I've experienced at least 2-3 cases of this happening. One was a work colleague years ago who just didn't show up to work one morning, with no forewarning, resignation or anything. All attempts to contact him were futile and he still had personal possessions in the workplace. Everyone assumed the worst but months later he actually called the office again just to say he was never coming back and to dispose of his belongings. He was clearly alive but nobody got hold of him after that.

Another was a neighbour who was friendly and polite but must have had debt problems. We only realised this after noticing a bailiff's note on the door and her letter box overflowing with letters. Her flat is still furnished but she just disappeared.

I daresay that a lot of people who disappear are dealing with financial problems and they discard old phone numbers and contacts so there is no way of reaching them.

What happens when you call the number from the phone?

You've been ghosted. Have a glass of wine and a cry like a normal person.

Do you know them through an addiction group, or other kind of group, if you only know their first name? Seems odd that you would only know the first name of someone who you were in contact with so regularly. If it's via a group could you contact someone else in the group for more info?

Is it someone you were dating, OP? I ask because knowing someone well enough to lend them £20 but not knowing their last name (or friends & family well enough to know if they'd died) is unusual.

Mosques is a good shout, as is checking the new websites for car accidents matching their details - there aren't thousands each month with fatalities (thankfully) so it wouldn't be too hard to find I think.

Smart use of Google might help, too: e.g. for me, "Scarpa" + "death" + "Manchester" and then use the google tools to search within a particular date range to narrow it down would help weed out tons of unnecessary entries and might bring up news articles - just tried it with a family friend using only the first name and found posts on a memorial website, a news article, a funeral notice, etc. Appreciate if the first name is really common it'll still be a struggle though.

In our area the Muslim Burial Society puts an announcement out

I agree - sounds like you've been ghosted. It is very very rare for somebody to die in a car crash! It would have been in newspapers under their first name. Or if from Covid, there is probably a list somewhere. But unlikely.

Much more likely, they just changed their number. Perhaps they have a girlfriend, who has said he can't contact you anymore or some such.
A lot of men do that kind of thing, it is shocking and painful but very common.

Have you tried calling them from a number other than your own?
Like a landline?

He may be a spy who's had to go deep undercover

A fatal car crash will be in local news.
I’m reading it as op borrowed £20 off him?
Any unusual hobbies? A poster recently found an old work colleague she feared dead through recalling his daughters name & unusual hobby. He was alive and well abroad and happy to hear from her.

fatal car crashes are normally posted on my local papers facebook, police facebook or both. The person isn't always named, but 9 times out of 10 someone names them in the comments. Search on facebook for car crash and local area and read the comments.

Is there a reason you would think car crash or is it just a hunch?

It's probably more likely that they are fine and just not in contact for whatever the reason.

As I understand it the OP didn't lend this person money but owes them money because she hasn't been able to repay it.

Google their phone number/search it on Facebook or Instagram or LinkedIn?

Can you do a reverse image search with their profile photo if it's of their face?

Can you search LinkedIn?

Also do you know their father's or child's name if relevant. As naming convention is forename, father's name, grandfather's name, family name. Shia or Sunni?

A car crash would have made the news.

but it’s a gut feeling I have.

I’m usually big on trusting your gut but I swear there’s at least three posts a month where people are sure someone has died and they very rarely, if ever, have.

If I was an armchair psychologist, I’d say it’s an easy protection measure that your brain uses to make it less painful if someone doesn’t contact you as you thought they would. No contact = maybe they’re unwell or dead?

But generally, they’re not. And if you’ve got no evidence to the contrary, I’d lean towards believing they’re alive.