How do I find out if someone has died?

[MissingThemDearly]

I know this isn’t the right section, I’m posting for traffic. PLEASE don’t move it, I am so desperate for help.

Realistically, how would I find out if someone is dead? I have a gut feeling they are. But I don’t know any information apart from their first name (which is common) and the city they live in (which is large). They were last seen on WhatsApp last month, which rules out that I’ve been blocked as it wouldn’t show that info if I had been, and their phone just goes straight to voicemail when trying to call. This is literally the only information that I have. I know it’s a big conclusion to jump to death but I have a gut feeling, and this is somebody that I was in contact with every four or five days without fail and now nothing for ages. I know the company they work for, but it’s a large supermarket chain and I don’t know which one or where it’s located.

This person is also Muslim. I add this because I don’t think funeral announcements are made locally and available, like other religions are, just in case anyone suggests that.

Is this a lost cause? Any advice or help would be appreciated, thank you in advance.

Leave well alone.

And seek mental help.

If they've been to crown court it's usually reported on the courtpages website isn't it?

Yep AnImposter

www.thelawpages.com/
You can search by name and date.

Where did you get to know the person, OP? Speaking to other people that know him it's probably going to be your best bet

How long would being held in custody typically be? Would they be released afterwards or also sent to prison straight away?

No-one knows as this is all pure speculation - you don't even know if he's been arrested, and if so, what for, or what the circumstances might have been, etc.

Perhaps he faked his own death after committing fraud, perhaps he just got bored of your chat...who knows???

You have no information to go on so you're not going to find out unless he or someone close to him chooses to tell you.

What city are they from and which specific area? Are they from a specific ethnic community? (Reason I ask is if they are say Malay there maybe only well be one Malay mosque in the area and you could turn up with a pic and ask) I guess if you really really feel they are dead, there aren’t that many Muslim burial grounds (I live in a city with a huge Muslim population and Muslim myself) there are only 2 Muslim cemeteries, you could call and ask about recent burials and see if they match the first name?

Although I just don’t get why you’ve gone straight to death (were they involved in crime?) if it’s a car accident like you said then it probably made local news

It may just be that they want to be left alone. It's annoying to you but not much you can do about it. I'm still on the idea of arranged marriage and didn't tell you.

As I said it happens regardless of how long you know each other! Never underestimate the power of family when it comes to marriage.

If he's from a traditional family he may have an almost double life until his time for marriage comes and then he will just follow his families ways and yes it does mean being ghostes. It such but happens a hell of a lot!

If you only have a first name then it's impossible to find out if they've died , unless their Christian name is Brunhilde or Montmorency.

As this person is Muslim then they'd be buried after two days ( or pending a police investigation.) This might offer you a window when speaking with an Imam.

You're very vague about your actual relationship with this person. You keep worrying about being outed.
Did you think about name-changing? You should have , as it might allow you to give us more information to help you with.

You are focussed on just finding the answer to your direct question, being , if he died how can I find out?
You won't find out . You need a full name and at least, a rough date of birth.

Partway through your thread , you latched on to imprisonment.
Why?

As others have mentioned, you've known this person for nigh on 10 years yet you don't know a surname, have borrowed money from them and seem to not have mutual contacts whom you could approach.

Your thread and subsequent posts are making your motive for finding this person sound ever more weird. You seem deeply attached to this person despite knowing not much at about them.

The fact that you won't say much, due to outing, on several occasions, suggests that you wish to remain hidden from your searches.

Could it be that this person has decided to grey rock you or even go non-contact with you?

It could be a family member who has been ill or died, now travel is opening up if he has family abroad he might have had to leave quickly. Hope there is nothing dodgy and that you do find out even if he doesn't want to contact you
In my city, unfortunately a lot of young Muslim guys seem to end up in bad car accidents, lots of them do speed unfortunately to the sorrow of their family and friends, so a car accident isn't far fetched. We're he still in hospital he might not have been able to keep up with social media,

In all fairness they might have just broken/lost their phone! But, you said they work in a supermarket?? You know which city so could you send a letter addressed to him to every one in the area??? Might seem extreme but if you’re desperate! I find it so mad that after 9 years you literally don’t know any of this stuff 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you know he worked in a supermarket, you could spend some free time going to these where he lived and ask a cashier when you buy something at the till. Look for older members of staff who may have been there a while and just say do you know a ……….. I think he works here, but haven’t seen him lately. Have you looked at online local news for the area. Ours usually covers car accidents if someone has died.

@Mindymomo
Im not sure that's good advice tbh as it is a bit stalkerish if the chap is still alive and kicking. If the OP can't find any info on car crashes, court appearances, etc from digital sources then she may need to let this one go as he is entitled to some privacy.

It's starting to feel really off. The whole thing. Not just the fact people think it's normal behaviour to send letter oe visit every x supermarket in the area...
Frankly I think that even people trying to give advice with good intentions ahould stop.

@MissingThemDearly I've not read the whole thread so forgive me if this has been mentioned but have done a newspaper search online for any driving incidents from the WhatsApp date to say a week later for the area the person is from? You can also get private searches done via online companies to locate individuals I don't know how much they cost or if they could help due to GDPR. The other thing would be to consider the local death certificate registry you maybe able to access that for a small fee. HTH.

@Wazzzzzzzup

It's starting to feel really off. The whole thing. Not just the fact people think it's normal behaviour to send letter oe visit every x supermarket in the area... Frankly I think that even people trying to give advice with good intentions ahould stop.

I agree. Some of the suggestions are batshit.

What about the coroners office for the town he lived in?

@Mags5Bia

What about the coroners office for the town he lived in?

With no surname and a first name that I can only assume is something like Mohammed or Imran based on OP's post about it being a really common name?

They worked in a factory for one of the supermarkets, it was a new job they had for two months, so I can’t visit those supermarkets and ask around as a customer as nobody in them would have seen them. And I don’t know which factory to ask around there.

I appreciate the suggestions but most of them are not achievable or suitable. PPs are right in that a first name and city search is too generic.

It is frustrating and bewildering when you can’t find someone.
I lost contact some years ago with someone I was close to, she has a very distinctive and unique First name, there is nobody else in the UK in her age group with it, but the trail went cold 10 years ago and I’ve never been able to trace her. I know her Maiden name and her married name, she’s not dead or divorced as there are no records, can’t find her on the electoral roll past 2010, no social media so the only thing I can think of is she moved abroad.
I can understand getting a bit obsessed.

How long would being held in custody typically be? Would they be released afterwards or also sent to prison straight away?

No wonder they didn't tell you their family name because the speculative lengths you are going to track them down is getting creepy af. Even if they got arrested, why on earth would they attempt to contact you first? And if they contacted other people, you wouldn't know anyway.

I also can't think of a logical reason why you would know someone on first name basis only for so long without any other mutual connections. Gaming friend would be one but it's not normal to be that closely attached to a stranger based on that. AA sponsor might be another one but you mentioned their fondness for drink driving so that seems out of the picture.

This person doesn't sound like a great catch tbh so maybe it's time to move on. Or maybe they realised your obsessive tendencies and are trying to escape. You mention multiple times that you have not been "blocked" so that was clearly a line of thought from the start. Normal friends who drop off the radar won't even consider blocking as one of the possibilities.

No wonder they didn't tell you their family name because the speculative lengths you are going to track them down is getting creepy af. Even if they got arrested, why on earth would they attempt to contact you first? And if they contacted other people, you wouldn't know anyway.

This is kind of the needless nasty comments I mentioned upthread that people are leaving. I’m not being creepy, I was just asking a question and I NEVER said or implied they would contact me first, or at all, or if other people would let me know, you’ve just completely made that up out of thin air to get a dig in.

As several posters have suggested already, have you tried Muslim cemeteries and/or cemeteries with a Muslim burial area? Even London doesn't have very many - only 13 listed here: wmbc.online/index.php/information/cemeteries-in-london

If someone was sent to prison for something would they immediately get sent there and locked up with no way of communication, or would they have time by ways of a trial and investigations and time to contact someone beforehand?

This quote/question of yours strongly implies that you think there was a chance the person could have gotten in touch with you in the absurdly unlikely event of being arrested.

People are having "digs" because your drip-feeding of information in this thread is very odd and there's no way to guess what your motives are. It involves tracking down a person who chose to end all contact (whether voluntary or involuntary). Common sense dictates that there needs to be context before people can offer their help or sympathy.

You cannot give anything that is outing because you do not have any mutual friends with this person. The whole point of "outing" is that people might guess who you are but if nobody in his life knows you exist, how can that be possible?

A red flag is how you refuse to entertain the idea that this person voluntarily ghosted you. Countless posters have mentioned this but you chose to ignore all their comments. However you immediately replied and focused on the statistically ridiculous options like death, imprisonment etc.

And a final possibility is that you're actually trying to track down someone in the close vicinity of this person. So the reason you don't know their last name is because they are the uncle/cousin/ex partner of the person you're actually trying to find.

When you message on What's App is it marked as delivered but not read? I would message from another phone and see what happens.

Common sense dictates that there needs to be context before people can offer their help or sympathy.

I haven’t asked once in this thread for sympathy and I have repeatedly said I don’t want any help other than what I specifically asked help for in my OP.

You cannot give anything that is outing because you do not have any mutual friends with this person. The whole point of "outing" is that people might guess who you are but if nobody in his life knows you exist, how can that be possible?

I didn’t want to out myself, or them, by giving out any identifying information.

And a final possibility is that you're actually trying to track down someone in the close vicinity of this person. So the reason you don't know their last name is because they are the uncle/cousin/ex partner of the person you're actually trying to find.

WHAT!? On Earth??

@DaveDave

I have tried from another phone on WhatsApp, both messages are showing up as one grey tick which means the messages have been sent but not delivered to their phone.