Page 40 | To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

torchh · 29/08/2021 10:00

And some people like to be antagonistic

Blossomtoes · 29/08/2021 10:01

makes even less sense why the 8/9 year olds had to be put to bed rather than left to entertain themselves in the relative safety of the cottage (v a pub) til a little later

If you’d bothered to read at least OP’s posts you’d know that there was no issue with them entertaining themselves upstairs. Alyssa decided she was an adult and it was all about her. She insisted on being the centre of attention at all times.

MrsDooDaa · 29/08/2021 10:01

@torchh That's fine. As long posters understand that this thread is for entertainment rather than the truth.

Just trying to provide a balanced argument - makes for a more interesting thread, no?

Notmoresugar · 29/08/2021 10:02

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Don't doubt yourself and don't waste ANY time or worry about your 'friend' she sounds a nightmare and that's why her daughter is as well.

She won't be worrying about you, but she will be worrying about her poor little golden child.

You are too far apart in your thinking to be friends and to be frank if she carries on like this (which she will) she won't have any friends left or they'll definitely distance themselves.

I have seen this type of scenario play out a few times when people like this unwittingly alienate themselves because people can't stand to be with them for more than half an hour.

Loudestcat14 · 29/08/2021 10:03

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

What the fuck do I do now.

Is it worth falling out over?

I'm not wrong am I - DD shouldn't have stopped playing just because Alysda completely over reacted because she didn't reach the air pillow first?

TBH I think DD was completely oblivious to the tantrum (she has a slight hearing difficulty so didn't hear the epic scream) and just played as she wanted to.

I'm still drinking 😬 I need to stop so I can drive ASAP! Neighbours have said I can go to theirs first thing if I want to avoid my friend

I would be LIVID if a friend tried to intimidate my child into apologising to hers for being upset that she didn't get to go first. No wonder the poor kid is such a spoiled brat with that kind of pathetic enabling behaviour.

Ultimately though, they've done you a favour. You don't have to end the friendship but it's the excuse you need to never go on holiday with them again.

DifferentHair · 29/08/2021 10:03

If I was drinking in a pub at 11pm while my children were literally falling asleep in public, I would not consider myself in a position to cast judgment on anyone else's parenting.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but if someone in my area did that, it would be the subject of concern and I really doubt our local publicans would continue to serve the parent in that instance.

But by all means, continue to cheer along and take parenting tips from her.

Loudestcat14 · 29/08/2021 10:03

Oh, and you're gonna need to start a new thread, OP!

Original poster

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 10:04

Thread three

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am iibeingunreasonable/4335223-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday-part-trois

OP posts:

Beautiful3 · 29/08/2021 10:04

Omg that's poor behaviour for an adult to gang up on a young child with their child, over something pathetic. You cannot be friends now you know she would kick your child down for the sake of her child's feelings! Awful and dangerous parenting. That kid is going to turn into the most revolting adult, anyone's ever seen. You had the neighbours witness her awful behaviour so at least you know she's in the wrong. Hope you and your family travel home safely. Block and delete your friend when you get home.

FuckingFabulous · 29/08/2021 10:04

Watching this to see if friend comes to try and kick things off when you're leaving

Original poster

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 10:05

@DifferentHair

If I was drinking in a pub at 11pm while my children were literally falling asleep in public, I would not consider myself in a position to cast judgment on anyone else's parenting.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but if someone in my area did that, it would be the subject of concern and I really doubt our local publicans would continue to serve the parent in that instance.

But by all means, continue to cheer along and take parenting tips from her.

My apologies. Next time I shall take them to the local village hall with knitting and some board games

OP posts:

torchh · 29/08/2021 10:06

[quote MrsDooDaa]@torchh That's fine. As long posters understand that this thread is for entertainment rather than the truth.

Just trying to provide a balanced argument - makes for a more interesting thread, no?[/quote]
No

KezzabellaB · 29/08/2021 10:06

Unashamedly placemarking!

PartyPotato · 29/08/2021 10:10

@Puppalicious the kids weren’t entertaining themselves at the cottage, the friends daughter was insisting on staying up with them until all hours, not playing with the other kids. That’s… the whole point??

Crockof · 29/08/2021 10:11

There is also a massive difference between horrid knackered kids on the last day of the holiday when all they need to do is go home, and horrid knackered kids when going to a holiday activity

PartyPotato · 29/08/2021 10:13

@HailAdrian glad you agree with me :)

Congressdingo · 29/08/2021 10:13

[quote HailAdrian]@torchh so? My point is, had her friend done the same, you'd all be tearing strips off her because it'd be one more example of bad parenting. You know that, of course.[/quote]
Yes exactly, ANOTHER example of bad parenting, not one example in a week.

FWIW one of my children would have been perfectly fine talking to a tantrumming peer and one would have hidden behind me hoping I would make it all go away.

Barbour coat pantomime
I've googled and still no idea what this is.

itsgettingwierd · 29/08/2021 10:16

[quote HailAdrian]@torchh so? My point is, had her friend done the same, you'd all be tearing strips off her because it'd be one more example of bad parenting. You know that, of course.[/quote]
I'm so glad you're able to tell me how I'd react.

Shame you're wrong - and I know this because I've had this friend and her brat of a Dd. The dd who became even more of a brat as it was indulged.

I no longer have anything to do with her because everything always was what my friend needed when she needed it.

Her Alyssa is now a young adult. My friend is lonely.

And 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 to the poster above who said stop equating bad behaviour as special needs.

As a parent of an autistic son I'm so glad to hear others realise not all those with sen are badly behaved and not all badly behaved children have sen.

Congressdingo · 29/08/2021 10:20

@HailAdrian

Wimpole, you're kidding yourself if you're saying no one here would say anything negative about the 'villain' of the story drinking to the point of being drunk, while in charge of the kids. Anyway, this thread is silly. I don't get all the fawning over a stranger on the internet but some people will always want to be part of the 'in crowd' I suppose.

Just so sad when completely random ppl on the Internet keep posting on a silly thread to make themselves look cool or something when they disagree with absolutely every word and every point and are (probably) better parents than the whole of MN.

YellowWalls33 · 29/08/2021 10:21

@DifferentHair

Another one struggling to understand how a cheer squad formed.

Imagine the opposite 'I've gone on holiday with a friend and her children. She's been drinking excessively by herself every night. She disappeared last night and I discovered later she was out drinking with some people we just met while her poor children fell asleep in a pub. She's since come home and I can hear her stomping around drunk, knocking over my daughters toys and bitching about my parenting on the internet. AIBU or is she not perfect in every way as she seems to believe?'

Exactly!

This is a strange thread. Cheering for OP and slagging off her friend. I'd love to hear the other version of events!

Greatdomestic · 29/08/2021 10:31

I've followed both threads.

Sorry your hard earned holiday was spoiled, and I don't think you could have done anything differently.

It sounds like your friend knows A's behaviour is an issue, but can't/won't try to address it. She knows you have been annoyed about the whole bedtime fiasco every night but if she acknowledges there is an issue, that means she needs to do something about it.

Sorry, it sounds like the friendship is over.

berryfull · 29/08/2021 10:33

I haven’t heard anyone excuse her behaviour because they think Alyssa may have ADHD/SEN/PDA whatever. You still need to parent kids with SEN of course, even more so! It just takes longer and needs difference strategies. It’s exhausting.

And if undiagnosed then yes mental health problems and personality disorders lie in wait for kids like Alyssa. Far better to investigate, diagnose, support and help early.

Cocogreen · 29/08/2021 10:37

Gosh OP, what a " holiday".
I don't know what to think about Alyssa but that behaviour is over the top whatever the reason.
In your original post I think you said you hadn't seen your friend for a few years?
Was the child always so demanding when you spent time together when she was younger?

GoogleWhacked · 29/08/2021 10:40

@MrsDooDaa

We only have the OP's account of this whole sorry affair. She's hardly an impartial bystander.

Just like every other MN thread! Surely it's the point of MN. Apart from that one time that a poster complained about her husband and then he joined MN and gave us his version of events (can't remember the story though), it all went pretty tits up then 😜