Page 35 | To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

Tulips15 · 29/08/2021 07:28

Gosh your friend and her DD sound pretty crappy tbh.

Sorry youve had a crap holiday. I'd feel the same way

GoodGrief100 · 29/08/2021 07:28

Perhaps this argument was for the best...in my experience mothers like that will never see a problem their kids behaviour so even if you manage to make up, she may also make a mental note never to holiday with you again. Your daughter dealt with the situation amazingly well and it was the perfect time for you step in an call Alyssa out for her behaviour. Whatever you do, do not apologise and hold firm!

CheeseyMcCheeseface · 29/08/2021 07:30

She does sounds a lot like my son who has ASD he had a thing about being the 1st one down the stairs in the morning, but that was when he was about 4. She is old enough to be told that she can’t always be 1st and she has to accept that. Yes it might mean that she sits out and loses time from playing but that can be done calmly in order to process her feelings.

I’m a very much ‘get over it’ parent but unfortunately that doesn’t work with my son.

rainbowstardrops · 29/08/2021 07:35

The fact your 'friend' pandered to her Alyssa is one thing but she also allowed her to scream in your face?! No bloody way.
That child is going to grow up very unhappy I think.

stepupandbecounted · 29/08/2021 07:36

She does sounds a lot like my son who has ASD

Then I assuming you would inform your friends of this long before holidays were on the cards, and make a plan before you attempted going away for a full week with any friends cheesey otherwise it is not fair on your son or your friends. It is very bad form to expect others to second guess why a child is struggling and indeed spend a holiday trying to understand/manage behaviour and enjoy a holiday in those circumstances.

CheeseyMcCheeseface · 29/08/2021 07:36

@stepupandbecounted

She does sounds a lot like my son who has ASD

Then I assuming you would inform your friends of this long before holidays were on the cards, and make a plan before you attempted going away for a full week with any friends cheesey otherwise it is not fair on your son or your friends. It is very bad form to expect others to second guess why a child is struggling and indeed spend a holiday trying to understand/manage behaviour and enjoy a holiday in those circumstances.

I wouldn’t put him in that situation, he wouldn’t cope.

Fredoftheforest · 29/08/2021 07:39

Good morning @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop - I hope you and your kids have a fun last day of your holiday, well away from your bonkers friend and her kids.

CheeseyMcCheeseface · 29/08/2021 07:40

To be honest neither would I - seeing a similar age child just getting on with things without it being a struggle would be hard for me.

stepupandbecounted · 29/08/2021 07:44

Exactly cheesey that is good parenting, knowing your child's limits whatever they are.
I don't think Alyssa has SEN for a minute but if she did, then surely taking the poor girl for a week away with another family knowing she can't manage or regulate her emotions was extremely unfair her more than anyone else, setting her up to fail. I can't think they will reflect on yesterday as their finest moment.

Jemand · 29/08/2021 07:45

I do wonder what happens during termtime when Alyssa has to get up at normal times, doesn't get to ordain that she must go first on play equipment, and can't run to Mummy to complain. Or is she home educated?

torchh · 29/08/2021 07:47

@Jemand

I do wonder what happens during termtime when Alyssa has to get up at normal times, doesn't get to ordain that she must go first on play equipment, and can't run to Mummy to complain. Or is she home educated?

Probably behaves better in a stricter environment

CheeseyMcCheeseface · 29/08/2021 07:50

Hopefully this will be a wake up call for her mother, I just don’t understand how anyone can think their child should trump all other children even their own sibling .

Monicuddle · 29/08/2021 07:53

Alyssa sounds like she is exhausted from staying up til midnight every night. I’m sorry your holiday was rubbish but it sounds like your kids had a good time. Give Emma a big clap and a piece of chocolate from me for being first on the air cushion and for standing up for herself. Hope you get home safely.

Original poster

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 07:57

We are up!

Car is packed up and everyone dressed so off for a walk then breakfast with neighbours - my kids are NOT happy about this they're tired and im hungover but needs must they can sleep in the car on the way home.

Setting off at midday so wine is out my system. I'm leaving car parked where it is until then

Not a peep from the other rooms.

OP posts:

torchh · 29/08/2021 07:59

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

We are up!

Car is packed up and everyone dressed so off for a walk then breakfast with neighbours - my kids are NOT happy about this they're tired and im hungover but needs must they can sleep in the car on the way home.

Setting off at midday so wine is out my system. I'm leaving car parked where it is until then

Not a peep from the other rooms.

Woo!

Have a good day

torchh · 29/08/2021 07:59

Are you planning to leave without saying goodbye?

What's the cleaning situation with the cottage?

CheeseyMcCheeseface · 29/08/2021 08:00

Have a good day OP I really hope you are good enough friends that you can have an honest debrief when the dust settles.

Original poster

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 08:02

@Buttons294749

Your DD is so brave, at 9 I would definitely have cried if an adult intimidated and had a go at me, great to see how she can handle herself in tough situations

I was so impressed with her, she has inherited my thick skin thankfully and I thought she was very mature. Although she said to me later she was more annoyed they interrupted her back flipping as she was getting really good

Now if someone did that to DS he'd fall to pieces!

OP posts:

Lanique · 29/08/2021 08:03

I've been following the two threads with much interest op; what a nightmare for you! FWIW I think you've handled your friend and her dd really well, and have managed to be far more restrained than most of us would be. The posts about the drama yesterday almost made my mouth hang open - wtf?!? The child is growing into a monster. Good luck today and safe journey!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 29/08/2021 08:04

@ALittleBitofVitriol

Epic threads!

I've just skipped to the end to say... I feel so validated to read that others hate that stupid, patronising 'how to talk to kids' book.

I bought it when DS was about 8 and tricky. He saw the title and said in a shocked voice 'mum! Are you trying to train me like some kind of animal??' I didn't read past the first few pages tbh.

Lanique · 29/08/2021 08:04

I had that how to talk book too, and promptly binned it.

hashbrownsandwich · 29/08/2021 08:06

What's happening this morning @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop ?

Original poster

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 08:07

@torchh

Are you planning to leave without saying goodbye?

What's the cleaning situation with the cottage?

I don't think I can face them and Alyssa's smug face (sorry that's mean but it's the truth).I can't even predict what my friend would say.

Cottage gets cleaned professionally after we leave they just ask dishes are washed, I've not used any today so I'm good to go!

OP posts:

LadyEloise1 · 29/08/2021 08:08

I think your friendship is over @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop.
I also think you rock

Safe driving home, make sure you're totally sober.

polkadotpjs · 29/08/2021 08:08

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop I hope you have a nice morning. Can I also have the place where you're staying ? It sounds like a horrid end to the holiday I'm sorry. Get some Coke (cola obvs) and sugar in you and feel well before you drive