What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

[Cuddlyrottweiler]

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though!

MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

I visited the inlaws when my DS was only a few weeks old. My husbands Aunty was giving DS a cuddle, then let her small daughter kiss DS whilst she had a Cold sore. I was furious with her.
Luckily DS was fine and didn't get poorly, but does now suffer from cold sores as a result.

I had a friend who asked me to be her birthing partner and it was honestly the WORST experience ever. She didn't have one labour pain but was high risk so had to go in when told.

She literally behaved like a primadonna from start to finish and it was embarrassing. She ended up having an emergency c section and when she was in HDU she ordered the midwives to fetch her water to wash with as "I am very clean and there's no excuse NOT to be clean."

She then had the wash and went in to spray a thick long heavy spray of deodorant under each arm causing the HDU with mums and newborns to have a massive white cloud of deodorant filling the place. I was choking on it and really worried about the babies.

Two years later she was having another baby and said she didn't want me to be her birthing partner because I was useless apparently.

First night home from hospital with first baby, weak from a haemorrhage. Put DD in her cot (in another room as XH wouldn't have a baby in the bedroom). She woke crying for a feed and my ex said "shut that little b*h up". His parenting didn't improve.

When DS2 was born, my MIL took one look at him and said to my DH “At least you know this one is yours” as he looked more like DH than DS1. She didn’t mean it harmlessly, was a total dig.

Another mother at the NCT class I went to told me dd was going to hell because I wasn't getting her christened.

Turned round and asked her what made her think I was Christian?

We didn’t have any problems with visitors as nearly all of our friends had decided to drop us when we announced I was pregnant.
All were older than us and had never had children. They were also big drinkers. (I don’t drink) and used to throw parties which mainly involved alcohol and were huge fun if you were drunk but really boring if you didn’t.
Actually grateful I no longer have to attend.

One couple came to see us when dd was still a few weeks old. I was in the middle of changing her into her sleep suit in the bathroom when they arrived and had carried her into the living room (we live in a bungalow and living room is across the hall from the bathroom) to say hello. I was going to go to the bedroom and bf dd and then put her in her cot.
The wife got really shirty about dd not already being in bed as she didn’t want to share an evening with a child and asked me to remove her from her sight

So I left (taking the chocolate truffles I had bought for the after dinner coffees with me) and went to watch tv in the bedroom and didn’t come out all evening in the guise that I was breast feeding
Dh served up dinner and they left without dessert.

The Dh did contact my Dh a few years later apologising and asking to meet up again.
Dh blocked his number.

Total stranger to me but knew I'd just given birth, messaged me on Facebook dropping the bombshell that her sister was pregnant to my then partner (father of my newborn) complete with laughing faces.

It was true and I needed to know, but the callousness and way she went about it has never left me.

I've never fully forgiven the friend who looked at my gorgeous, three day old baby son and said 'I hope I have a girl when I have a baby, I really wouldn't want a boy'.

The other thing that I got which was really well meant but upset me at the time was lots of people commenting on how early I was out and about after DS1 - I took him into town for a walk when he was a few days old and a few different strangers told me that I should still be in bed, and I took him to a baby group when he was two weeks and it was made very clear that I 'should' still be at home in my PJs. I think people were worried that I was pushing myself to do too much too soon but I've always hated sitting in the house all day and found the early days with a newborn like being under house arrest and was desperate to get out, and it made me feel like I was doing it 'wrong'. I felt the same with DS2 but second time round no one commented because it's more normal to be out and about straight away with baby 2!

Parents-in-law came to the hospital. Picked up DS from the crib, said 'Nothing of our family in this one' and put him down again. Neither of them has ever spoken to DS - MiL died a couple of years later but DS is now 20 and FiL has still never spoken to him directly.

I got told that I nearly died and had a blood transfusion on purpose to stop the in laws from visiting 🙄

@Sellingstress

My mum dramatising everything from a sniffle to sleeping, clothes - you name it. Nothing was right. And overall making me feel very inadequate as a new parent. She has chilled a bit now but I still prickle when I think how unhelpful she was.

Had the exact same experience.

I went to a dinner thing and a colleagues of DH wife asked me what I had had, when I said another boy she said “oh poor you, 2 boys, I was very clever to have a boy and then a girl”. Um no that’s not quite how it works……

This thread is insane. Wtf is wrong with these people?!

@PluggingAway

This thread is insane. Wtf is wrong with these people?!

mainly they are cunts

Wandering off for a wee at the hospital, to be asked when I was due, but I'd had my DS 2 days ago

For some reason I always look very heavily pregnant after giving birth.

Got told by several family members not to BF around them because it was weird, and we'd moved on and progressed to 'proper milk' now and didn't need to be hippies any more

Healthcare visitor went to check my stomach 3 days after getting home and then said 'oh my god, look what your baby has done to you!!' (referring to the many stretch marks)

My mil and sil posted on social media that my son who was premature had been born.
We hadn't told most people yet and worse than that was we didn't know how he was as I was still too ill to go down to see him for the first time.
Thankfully dh went apocalyptic with them and they removed the post.
My family were understandably worried as I was extremely sick but they weren't aware that baby had been born so I was inundated with calls from them checking in and asking what happened. I am very traumatised by the events surrounding his birth and they took my control away
Mil also kept ringing the nicu pretending to be me as she thought we were lying about how our baby was doing. I was sitting in the nicu at the time.

Not to me but to my mum.

I really really struggled the first week, I'm an extremely emotional person at the best of times, but day 3-5 tipped me over the edge, I didn't sleep, breastfeeding was breaking me, DH was unwell too, basically everything seemed to happen in one go and I felt like my world was on a tailspin.

Anyway, mum and dad took ds for a walk for a few hours so dh and I could have some respite and get some sleep. While they were out they bumped into an old neighbour who basically told my mum she was a horrible person separating a newborn from its mother, especially in those very early days. My dad told her it was none of her business and if she wants to accuse my mum of something, shouldn't she be accusing him too...

My mum, who would do anything for anyone was completely shocked, it actually caused her to question if it was the right thing for her to take ds overnight at 4 months when DH and I went to a concert for his birthday that had been booked before we found out I was pregnant.

Health visitor telling me my five month old was overweight and on a path to a ‘lifetime of obesity’. Starting giving me all these stats about diabetes and early death. He was a chunky little baby! I asked what I was supposed to do when he was crying at 5am and she said ‘give him a bottle with some cooled boiled water’.

One that always sticks with me was taking DS to a toddler group. He has SEN but at that time we didn’t know. I felt really isolated and depressed at the time because he didn’t interact normally with other kids and came across as a bit of a brat. But nothing that horrendous. He was playing with a dolls house with another boy and snatched a toy off of him. The boy started crying and I apologised and took the toy off my son and handed it back. The mother came over and said “don’t worry Jacob, luckily WE know how to share.”, giving me a pointed look. It was so devastating at the time and I cried when I got home. Fuck that woman. I hope she reads this thread and recognises how rude she was.

When I had a 3 day old and had to go back into the hospital without her for preeclampsia treatment, DH would rock up at lunch time with her and didn’t understand why I was upset “I had 3 kids to get ready you know!” the older two were quite capable of getting themselves ready. I couldn’t have her in with me as I was on drugs that made me spaced out. He did it the next day and the next as well, didn’t give a shit about me needing to feed her or have some time with her. While on said drugs he was making me read a rambling text from his oldest. I didn’t want to so asked him to paraphrase, just read it he says, it was an awful slagging off message about us having a DD. She did the same when I had a premature baby previously in the NICU that didn’t come home from the hospital. To this day I have no idea why he didn’t just keep it to himself and deal with it. But that sums him up really.

@OaxacaChihuahua

I was really lucky I think, people behaved themselves around me!

I did used to get a little frustrated when people didn’t immediately give him back to me when he was crying - I knew it came from a place of love because they were trying to give me a break, but it’s such a strong instinct to comfort your crying newborn that I really struggled to let anyone else do it. Nobody did anything actually awful though - you hear such horror stories from some poor people who’ve had hideously pushy friends and family ignore their boundaries completely.

Oh I hated it when people would always pass DS back to me when he cried! The idea that mum is the only one who can soothe a baby is baffling to me! I was surrounded by lots of very capable and supportive people in DS's early weeks; aunts, my mum, cousins, in-laws, etc and I absolutely LOVED my aunties who would ask if they could try to settle him (usually only if I had just breastfed him). DS spent 99% of his time on me attached to my boob, but I loved the people who confidently took control for 1% of the time.

The worst thing anyone did to me was assume I wanted healthy snacks rather than biscuits, haha, so yes I was very lucky.

I had just given birth to DS1 after a long labour, forceps delivery and a large hemorrhage,
I was In a lot of pain and I had a catheter in, midwife came in and yanked it out! Honestly so painful!
She then gave me one of those cardboard bedpan type things and asked for a urine sample
So off I limped to the toilet (I was on a large ward and it was at the far side)
A horrible midwife and I'll never forget her face screamed at me
"Ohh for goodness sake you've left a trail of blood all over the floor I'm gonna have to clean that up now"
I honestly went into the toilet and cried!
Luckily her shift ended not long after and I had a wonderful midwife after that and she was amazing
But in that 1 single moment my confidence went to 0... it's stayed there ever since too

MIL posted a picture of me just after giving birth to DD on Facebook & tagged me in. I hadn't announced her birth myself yet. It was the most awful picture, eyes rolling from the drugs, blood on my gown, terrible rash all over my swollen face & vagina barely covered. I did t even know for a few days until I got a message from someone I went to uni with congratulating me ......oh and then she refused to take it down until DH forced her too.

An older teenage girl screaming in horror when she saw baby DD (who has a physical disability) Worse reaction to date. Most people are kind fortunately. 15 years later I can still remember her face.

The day after I'd given birth my husband invited his friends round to see the baby and asked me to make a cake and some brownies. I asked him to just buy some because I was in a lot of pain and breastfeeding a newborn but he told me it was not acceptable to give guests shop bought cake. So (I can't believe it now) I made cake whilst doubled over in pain.

It was also our older daughters friends birthday party the next day and he refused to take her because he didn't know where the house was. So I had to drive her even though I could barely change gears because it hurt so much.

My alleged best friend stole money from my house, some of the money belonged to my dd who was just a few weeks old. Needless to say she is no longer my friend.

My DS had horrendous reflux and CMPA. I was in Tesco pharmacy line and a complete stranger stuck her head in my 4 week old baby’s pram and took the dummy out his mouth and said ‘bad lazy mummy forcing that on you’ and snapped it was lazy parenting.
I absolutely lost my shit. Seconds from drop kicking the woman.
Luckily my partner was in the next isle and he came running. And the pharmacist called her out and told her to mind her own business!!!!

I was really upset.