If my cat had AIBU...

Greenandcabbagelooking · 2021-02-03T11:02:14+00:00

AIBU to think that three pouches of wet food, two meals of dry food, some treats and unlimited fresh water just isn’t sufficient to sustain a cat? I’m so starved, I had to tell all the children on my human’s zoom lesson about it in the hope they’d feed me. They didn’t, and human shut me out the office, so I only had the whole rest of the house to run around. How do I call cat line?

00100001 · 03/02/2021 11:06

AIBU to want to go out if the door without the cat flap, then come back in is catflap, to ask to be let out again 2 minutes later? Apparently my owner thinks I should use the flap for going out as well, but i cant be expected to do that can I?

yahyahs22 · 03/02/2021 11:08

AIBU to wait till you put the baby in bed for me to barge in the bedroom and make noise so he wakes up after only two minutes of sleeping, even though he's a really light, bad sleeper?

HilaryBriss · 03/02/2021 11:09

I know my hoooman is trying to work but I need her to waive my feather fishing rod toy around for me to chase. I keep dragging it over to her feet but she ignores me. AIBU to think that she should play with me?

BigWoollyJumpers · 03/02/2021 11:12

AIBU to insist that my food in heaped in a pile in the middle of my plate, so that I can spend minimum effort in hoovering it up?

AIBU to yell outside every closed door in the house until let in, and then sit on computer keyboards.

AIBU to bring mice into the kitchen to play with, and let go, so I can have something to play with later, maybe consume, and leave a nice murder scene for my slaves to clear up in the morning?

yahyahs22 · 03/02/2021 11:15

I like to sit out the back and stare and meow to be let in, but when my human comes to let me in I like to let them stand there and let the heating out. YABU - Just get inside, its not fair for the human.
YANBU - The human is made for you to be their slave, they shouldn't moan at anything you do, regardless of the level of crazy

bravotango · 03/02/2021 11:21

AIBU to attack the monster 'Vackoom" every time my slave wants to hoover up my hair?
AIBU to sit so close to my slaves head while she sleeps that my whiskers go up her nose and make her sneeze?

BarbaraofSeville · 03/02/2021 11:22

YANBU OCat. I get nearly all that and I get to eat my sister's leftovers because she eats less than me and I get to go out hunting for my own food too.

Luckily my hooman believes in penis portions although last time she took me to be prodded, poked and violated at the place that must not be mentioned she was told to put me on a diet, which sounds horrible.

There's a lot of little cats here too. Too many if you ask me, but the hoomans tell us this is fostering, because a lot of cats aren't as lucky as we are to have nice loving homes and lots of food and we must make them welcome because we were fostered once after we were found wet and hungry behind a bin, and were allowed to stay forever. The hoomans promise that no more will be allowed to stay forever, but I'm not so sure.

It's not too bad because I get to teach them how to hunt by bringing them mice to play with. The hoomans don't really like this, but I think they like it because I'm being nice to the little cats.

The little cats wanted me to ask if they are BU to play with the noisy toys like the crinkly tunnel and the ball with the bell in when the hooman to talking to the laptop again. I don't think they are BU because the hooman is ignoring the little cats and tap tapping away all the time and all the talking disturbs our sleep when they didn't even used to be here that much.

I don't know what's going on, but they're here all the time now and it used to be that they were out most of the day nearly every day, sometimes in the evening which was bad because sometimes they weren't here when we got hungry but now they almost never go anywhere.

lucylouz · 03/02/2021 11:24

YANBU - if you ever find the number for catlike let me know!
I have been out 5 times in total this morning and my hooman has insisted on cleaning my paws everytime I come back in just because I enjoy having a dig in the mud everytime I go out there! She's only had to wash her sheets two times this week and clean the floors everyday because of my muddy paw prints!! I think she fails to realise I have to clean my paws several times a day!!!
I mean she's at home all day she surely doesn't have anything better to do than let me out and back in again 5 minutes later and clean up after me? Oh and feed me 250 times a day?!

ISaySteadyOn · 03/02/2021 11:25

AIBU to think that the catflap is my special door and that the big female hooman should stand next to it the whole day in case I want to go in or out? A beautiful cat like me should never need to open the catflap myself, right?

elfin79 · 03/02/2021 11:28

Why oh why do they insist on touching me! Do they know how much effort it takes to wash the nasty human smell off my fur?

Also, AIBU, other cats keep walking across MY garden. Don't they know that it's MY territory? The humans appear put out at my defence of MY space, just because it's the middle of the night. Who sleeps at night anyway? That's what day time is for, surely.

torquewench · 03/02/2021 11:32

AIBU to wake my human at 2 am every morning to get them to open the bedroom window to let me in? I am aware there is a catflap i have to walk past to get to this window, but that's for the elderly cat who also lives here that is no longer sprightly enough to get onto the flat roof?

Cattitudes · 03/02/2021 11:34

AIBU to think that I am more important than the 'laptop' and that it should be me on her lap not the laptop? I should also say that I think that I should have exclusive rights to this space and when I sit on top of her wrists in front of the screen it is not so that she will improve her touch typing or so she can take the opportunity to tickle me on my stomach. It is particularly insulting when I am there first and she tries to move the laptop beside me. She is literally trying to replace me with this silver monstrosity.

Catwoman123 · 03/02/2021 11:35

Aibu to not want anything to do with the humans apart from when they feed me? How dare they try to stroke me when I come near them.

LucyCC · 03/02/2021 11:42

AIBU to walk over the little human to get onto the big humans lap? The big humans say don’t walk on the baby blah blah but I’ve always walked on that bit, little human is in the way and frankly, I was here first.

AIBU to scratch at every closed door, drawer etc because Narnia might be behind it and I’d like to meet Mr Tumnus one day.

recklessruby · 03/02/2021 11:42

Aibu to jump on my human knocking the phone out of her hand when shes trying to pay the rent? Why cant she just live here for free like I do and then she could spend the money on me?
Aibu to walk on keyboards and try to type my own emails? The human just writes boring things about school and lessons.
Aibu to try to groom my human before she goes out? Her eyebrows are a shocking mess so I try to lick them into shape.
Her clothes are mostly black for work and really benefit from the addition of my tabby fur.
Aibu to adore a certain brand of cat food so she buys a massive box, eat 2 sachets then go off it?

lordyanothernamechange · 03/02/2021 11:44

AIBU to expect full respect and subservience at all times from all things birdy and human.

None of them are particularly bright and need to be told several times a day what to do to maintain my wonderfulness but despite telling them repeatedly, I have insufficient feathery toys, playtimes, mices or food.

I would LTB but I don't see why I should as the rightful owner of the house and all neighbouring gardens and that house at no.9 which is OK as they give me tuna WITHOUT asking, remarkably. Which just goes to show that it can be done.

bluebluezoo · 03/02/2021 11:46

Could you see the bottom of the bowl? If so yanbu as clearly that isn’t enough to sustain a growing kitty.

TaraR2020 · 03/02/2021 11:47

@BarbaraofSeville

YANBU OCat. I get nearly all that and I get to eat my sister's leftovers because she eats less than me and I get to go out hunting for my own food too.

Luckily my hooman believes in penis portions although last time she took me to be prodded, poked and violated at the place that must not be mentioned she was told to put me on a diet, which sounds horrible.

There's a lot of little cats here too. Too many if you ask me, but the hoomans tell us this is fostering, because a lot of cats aren't as lucky as we are to have nice loving homes and lots of food and we must make them welcome because we were fostered once after we were found wet and hungry behind a bin, and were allowed to stay forever. The hoomans promise that no more will be allowed to stay forever, but I'm not so sure.

It's not too bad because I get to teach them how to hunt by bringing them mice to play with. The hoomans don't really like this, but I think they like it because I'm being nice to the little cats.

The little cats wanted me to ask if they are BU to play with the noisy toys like the crinkly tunnel and the ball with the bell in when the hooman to talking to the laptop again. I don't think they are BU because the hooman is ignoring the little cats and tap tapping away all the time and all the talking disturbs our sleep when they didn't even used to be here that much.

I don't know what's going on, but they're here all the time now and it used to be that they were out most of the day nearly every day, sometimes in the evening which was bad because sometimes they weren't here when we got hungry but now they almost never go anywhere.

Penis portions??

Your human is definitely feeding you wrong. LTB.

Porcupineintherough · 03/02/2021 11:47

AIBU to expect you to let you in and feed me, even though I am not your cat?

spurs4ever · 03/02/2021 11:49

Multiple issues in my house. Front room has 2 windows. I like to go out of the one on the left but I will NOT come in through that one, even if my staff open it up for me.
Also, I demand that my staff stay in the kitchen whilst I eat. Sometimes they claim to "need" to do other stuff, but this is unacceptable to me.
Finally, the staff are complaining that I drink water from a bowl in the garden when I have 2 big bowls of fresh water in the house. This is not the water I desire so why would I touch it!
Idiots.

RainbowsAndFrogs · 03/02/2021 11:51

Aibu to collect every teddy and soft toy from the child's bed and place them on the bathroom floor? Every day? Even though the big humans put them back on the bed each time.
I even yowl whilst doing it so it's not like they don't know how they got there!

CatRatSplat · 03/02/2021 11:52

Aibu to ask to be let to jump onto the bed even though I got hit by a scary vehicle and have broken lots of bones including my pelvis??😽

cricketmum84 · 03/02/2021 11:54

AIBU to think my cat mum is a total bitch for not letting me in the living room window when I've fetched a bird??

She brought the kitten home, all I'm trying to do is feed the baby cat Cos all she gives her is kitten biscuits.

So far I've wasted 4 sparrows and 6 mice meowing at the window until I just had to give up to be let back in from the snow.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/02/2021 11:56

AIBU to meow at the front door continuously (ignoring my cat flap) because its raining outside and I want the loo? I know there's a litter tray 6m away but today I want to wee outside.

However, tomorrow when its dry and warm, I plan to leave a huge turd in that litter tray because I like to make you clean up after me.

YesItsMeIDontCare · 03/02/2021 11:59

Ridiculous idea for a thread.

No cat is ever unreasonable and they know it.

😁