Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If my cat had AIBU...

309 replies

Greenandcabbagelooking · 03/02/2021 11:02

AIBU to think that three pouches of wet food, two meals of dry food, some treats and unlimited fresh water just isn’t sufficient to sustain a cat? I’m so starved, I had to tell all the children on my human’s zoom lesson about it in the hope they’d feed me. They didn’t, and human shut me out the office, so I only had the whole rest of the house to run around.

How do I call cat line?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
Toddlerteaplease · 03/02/2021 14:43

My parents cat is complaining that he spent ages yesterday loosing his collar, and they put an old one on him that says 'do not feed me' on it. And to add insult to injury they took him to the vet yesterday as well.

FolkyFoxFace · 03/02/2021 14:56

The weather has been really grim lately, which doesn't bother me TOO much as I don't like fresh air. However, I really do miss a good window sun bathing session - plus my really loud human is home all of the time too.

Anyway, this afternoon I spied a small area of sunlight after a cold and dreary morning. The kitchen worktop was bathed in a beautiful golden light, so, after finishing off in my litter box I leaped up to bask in a few rays!

My human spotted me and grabbed me! She even closed the kitchen door afterwards so that I couldn't get back again!

I clawed a huge ladder in her ugly green tights in revenge. AIBU?

Lovelydiscusfish · 03/02/2021 15:03

AIBU to demand unlimited pouch and ignore the dried food in my bowl, and to make my feelings on this known to my slaves by running through a routine of increasingly annoying behaviours, which includes: miaowing at a pitch unbearable to humans; pretending to piss on the rag rug; jumping on the cooker; pretending to start chewing their charger cables.

When their frustration reaches fever pitch and they put me out of the front door, AIBU to go round to two doors down, collect my girlfriend of whom I know they don’t approve, and bring her in through the cat-flap (which I have cleverly broken so they can have no way of denying me or any of my delinquent cat friends egress in any situation) and allow her to eat the offending dried food for me, thus scuppernong the slaves’ pathetic argument totally?

The female cat slave says it is like having a rebellious teenage son, and that she fully expects to come home one day to find me having sex with my girlfriend in their bed, smoking pot and drinking their alcohol? I think this means I am getting to her, so my plan is working......

CSIblonde · 03/02/2021 15:05

AIBU to cry pitifully when my human won't play with me 24/7. I mean, she's only got a job & studying to do after all. Also AIBU to go out, then 2mins kater come back in ,have 1 mouthful of food & denand to go straight back out again, on repeat. At 3am.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 03/02/2021 15:28

AIBU to think that this is my office, not theirs and if they don't want me to lie on their very important bits of paper then they should not keep putting them where they know I like to snooze. Also it's not my fault the pot plant got knocked over, that's MY window to look out of and MY window ledge to sit on.

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 03/02/2021 15:38

AIBU to think that every morsel of human food my Mum cooks should also be mine even though it makes me boak like a trooper usually all over my blanket and her bedding and then I get upset because her my favourite blanket has to be washed yet again. Also AIBU to think that no matter what time it is during the night that as soon as I start jabbing her with my claws or standing on her pillow and biting and pulling her hair she should automatically jump straight out of bed and bequest my need for food right away, even if my bowl is already full of biscuits, not shove me off to the end of the bed and call me pain in the bum

alfagirl73 · 03/02/2021 15:39

AIBU to decide after happily wolfing down a brand/flavour of wet food several times to look at it in utter disgust after my hooman has bought loads of it cos they thought I liked it?! Don't they know that I am entitled to decide at any moment that ANY food I have previously enjoyed is no longer fit for consumption?! How DARE my hooman not know of my tastes in advance!

Oh and while we're at it... AIBU to "kneed" my hooman in the back at 3am cos I want her to wake up and play with the toy I've just plonked on her bed?! I mean it's not too much to ask surely!

prawncocktailpringles · 03/02/2021 15:46

AIBU to put my paws round my human's neck and dig my claws in repeatedly whilst dribbling on her neck and face then shaking my head and depositing globules of saliva around the room, sometimes in her mouth. I am trying to show her I love her and she just keeps pushing her away. I may have to bring in another magpie at 4 am to get the point across.

InsanityOf2020 · 03/02/2021 15:52

Aibu to wonder why my hooman slave is using the magic waterfalls on my favourite comfy place more and more

Not only is she in my castle all day now, i just get comfortable for one of my many naps only to be told to "get out of the sink" and she then lifts me out and insists on using the magic waterfalls while singing. Then my comfy place is all wet and it just gets dry and she's doing it again. She did bring a red soft cushion into the castle its very nice and so very warm and cosy but its not MINE, aibu to stand on the laptop until she gets the message and leaves the magic waterfalls alone

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 03/02/2021 16:11

@prawncocktailpringles

AIBU to put my paws round my human's neck and dig my claws in repeatedly whilst dribbling on her neck and face then shaking my head and depositing globules of saliva around the room, sometimes in her mouth. I am trying to show her I love her and she just keeps pushing her away. I may have to bring in another magpie at 4 am to get the point across.
My Cat would say YANBU because he too likes to shake his head sending gobules of Kitty food scented saliva all over the place including inside my mouth
aprilanne · 03/02/2021 16:18

The vet told my human mum that I was a porker and to cut down the tuna everyday and get this stuff called cat meat .eh dont think so pal. I was a stray for 3 months until I begged my way in 6 years ago .I like tuna and fresh fish .mum tells me everyday I am the best boy ever

aprilanne · 03/02/2021 16:21

And another thing nothing wrong in Rowling at 7 am an 4.30 on the dot for my fish not my fault if a good tv programme is on and I dont want biscuits until the programme finishes ok

Fairyliz · 03/02/2021 16:23

Why does my human get so cross with me when I bring her meals in bed?
I thought I was particularly ingenious getting that foot long rat through the cat flap, and the half eaten robin added a splash of red to her dull white sheets.

Emmelina · 03/02/2021 16:24

Lupin, is that you?

CriticalWoman · 03/02/2021 16:25

Aibu to play this little game when my human and I are alone in the house - I pretend I've heard a noise/seen something in another room, I slink in there really cautiously and she follows behind (like I'm going to protect her!!!) and she thinks I'm seen or heard something creepy and bad that she can't see or hear. I get her every time!

CriticalWoman · 03/02/2021 16:28

It's weird how humans spend half the time telling us how handsome/beautiful/pretty we are and how much they love us; then the other half denying us our basic feline rights like not giving us never emptying bowls of our current favourite foods or staying awake all night to attend to our needs. Weird.

Mittens030869 · 03/02/2021 16:48

AIBU to think my humans are being very ungrateful to not accept my gifts of dead mice or birds? I have to put up with the little female humans picking me up when I’m trying to sleep. I think I’m being quite generous under the circumstances, don’t you?

ZaZathecat · 03/02/2021 16:50

Have you tried throwing yourself at the office door? Sometimes works for me. Ram it open then jump on the desk, you'll have your food in no time.
HTH.

teaandcustardcreamsx · 03/02/2021 16:51

AIBU to shit on the beanbag? The small Hooman likes to torture me, follows me constantly and tries to pick me up. I’ve had enough of him. I’d like to shit on the beanbag as that would (hopefully!) get him to stop trying to pick me up!

RabbityMcRabbit · 03/02/2021 17:00

@Plump82 tell your hooman to buy you a lidded litter tray. Gamechanger Smile

peak2021 · 03/02/2021 17:08

AIBU to wonder why that passer by on Sunday afternoon who said that they were on a walk did not open the front door and let me in?

mumwon · 03/02/2021 17:39

For pp - a sci fi book by Robert Heinlein was called "A Door into Summer" which(among other things) the hero had a cat who use to check that if the weather was bad at the front door one should always check the back...
so dear cats you have a famous sci fi author who was also a cat slave Grin

ThatsnotmyBorishishairistoneat · 03/02/2021 17:49

My humans just don’t understand that if you lie on your bed that translate to cat time, yes we will paw you, meow and nip you if you ignore me! What do you expect?

StarlightLady · 03/02/2021 17:54

Would it be so wrong to have a cat with benefits frend? I’d really love to shag the ginger cat across the road, but l don’t want anything long term with him.

StarlightLady · 03/02/2021 17:55

Frend = Friend. My paws slipped on the keys.