To wonder if anyone has used a male prositute

[SparklyLeopard]

Ive NC for this as I'm a regular and this is a bit random I know! I've had a few relationships over the years and not been really satisfied with sex. Find myself fantasising about being with a man who is a real expert. Not sure I could ever have the nerve to do so and would have no idea where to start! And certainly not now for obvious reasons but I'm curious and would love to hear about other's experiences.

Yes. I'm sure someone has

No, I have thought about it as I am in a sexless relationship and V frustrated, but I don’t think I could go through with it either. I would worry they would arrive and I wouldn’t find them attractive mostly. I don’t find most Male stripper types attractive.

Why would you post this on AIBU on MN rather than go to a sex-focussed forum? There's even a sex board on MN.

Expert? Are you for real? Sex is about chemistry, passion, attraction.... You will not get that with a prostitute. You will be a business transaction.

Why would you post this on AIBU on MN rather than go to a sex-focussed forum? There's even a sex board on MN

For the same reason we have countless Covid and feminism threads on here despite there relevant boards for them. You are not the thread police.

OP I wouldn't have an issue, but would want to see photos first.

Tinder?

@Lockheart
Oh get over yourself

OP I haven't but I'm curious to read from those who have

I couldn't support a man who was thinking of exploiting a sex worker. I couldn't support a woman who was thinking of doing the same.

@MsJaneAusten
Tinder is just a load of horny randomers. OP is talking about paying a professional. Would love to read an AMA from a male prostitute!

I didn't know there was a sex board on MN. I also don't like stripper type! Not really thought about chemistry either. I'm just a tad frustrated can you tell?!

No, I don't like the idea of having to pay someone to have sex with me. It wouldn't make me feel v good about myself.

I don’t find most Male stripper types attractive.

They don't all look like magic Mike you know. Anyone can be a male prostitute regardless of looks, same for women.

Erm no, but I would say that good sex is far more about chemistry and desire than about mechanical competency. The thought of someone only being there because I paid them to be would put me off the entire thing, not to mention stds etc.

I also thought about it, bad a look on the sites but wasn't impressed. I found it better (and cheaper) to chat online to men and could build up some chemistry, enjoy the flirt etc.

I haven't but I would if I wasn't with DH. safer and easier and probably far better sex than picking up some random at a bar or on tinder.

I’d be too worried that I ordered Daniel Craig and got Bob from Twin Peaks.

Male prostitutes are probably ideal for things like role play

No it wouldn't be for me. As experienced as they may be, nothing beats a man who is so into you and you fancy him too and there is amazing chemistry. You can't buy that.

I would be too worried about exploiting someone vulnerable. How do you know the sex worker you’re employing hasn’t been coerced into it? I know there are sex workers working of their own volition and not being exploited but I wouldn’t know how to go about ensuring I was employing one of them, rather than someone vulnerable.

I also think I would just feel sordid, regardless of anything else.

And I don’t think a sex worker is a guarantee of any particular skill - it doesn’t automatically follow that someone who has sex for money will be wildly talented at it.

Depends what you "get" from sex.

For me it's about intimacy - I couldn't have sex with someone who I wasn't 100% comfortable and secure with. For me, that means someone with whom I was in relationship with.

The fact that I was paying would strip away any modicum of comfort or intimacy that would be possibly be present with a stranger.

I'd imagine that being a male prostitute is, in some ways, more difficult performance-wise than being female. As a woman, you don't need to maintain an erection.

How would it make you feel about yourself if he struggled?

I expect some have; homosexual men without a suitable partner will have and some women. I doubt any woman will admit it on here though. I've never knowingly known a woman who has hired a man for sex and can't imagine it; it's less common than the other way around because it's generally easier for a woman to find an uncomplicated, casual sex partner, but does happen sometimes.

Tennis: For me it's about intimacy - I couldn't have sex with someone who I wasn't 100% comfortable and secure with. For me, that means someone with whom I was in relationship with.

The fact that I was paying would strip away any modicum of comfort or intimacy that would be possibly be present with a stranger.
...
That's it exactly. Women usually have a different attitude to sex than men.

@PlanetSlattern

I couldn't support a man who was thinking of exploiting a sex worker. I couldn't support a woman who was thinking of doing the same.

This.

Expert? Are you for real? Sex is about chemistry, passion, attraction.... You will not get that with a prostitute. You will be a business transaction

No way in hell would I hire a gigolo, hell I might get David Lee Roth, but plenty of men get off, repeatedly, on hiring women.

Go to some sex work review sites and read what they say. It will be an education.

I'd imagine that being a male prostitute is, in some ways, more difficult performance-wise than being female. As a woman, you don't need to maintain an erection

Nah - you need to be wet and slippery though - but judging from the infections and injuries experienced by women oppressed through the commercial sex industry most men just bang on in anyway.

Id be put off by the fact that id know they didnt actually fancy me and were only pretending.

I think there are plenty of men out there you could get a decent sexual connection with but surely fancying each other and both being into it for the pleasure of it is pretty important regarding arousal