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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if anyone has used a male prositute

245 replies

SparklyLeopard · 17/01/2021 09:08

Ive NC for this as I'm a regular and this is a bit random I know! I've had a few relationships over the years and not been really satisfied with sex. Find myself fantasising about being with a man who is a real expert. Not sure I could ever have the nerve to do so and would have no idea where to start! And certainly not now for obvious reasons but I'm curious and would love to hear about other's experiences.

OP posts:
Bence69 · 17/01/2021 10:43

@Lockheart

Why would you post this on AIBU on MN rather than go to a sex-focussed forum? There's even a sex board on MN.
Oh Jesus! Get a life! I’m sure their are some sites out there for male escorts. x good luck x
AtlasPine · 17/01/2021 10:44

It doesn’t appeal at all to me but I can imagine one of the attractions of paying for sex is being in control of the experience (or feeling that you are). And not feeling you need to give pleasure back but can receive ‘care’ fully without feeling selfish. Which works for massage, hair styling, nail care and dental treatment - but not for sex, I think. I’d hate to have sex with someone who would much rather be home with a glass of wine and a good film but it sticking with it for the money. It would be humiliating.

Opheliaa · 17/01/2021 10:46

considering men account for 25% of human trafficking victims I would say you are wrong. Very wrong.

I think you misrepresent that. As much of that is about child sex trafficking. Boys, being raped by men. Not the same at all.

Willheorwonthe · 17/01/2021 10:47

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a sex worker if it’s a choice.

But I couldn’t pay a man for sex. Knowing he was there because of money and not because he was really attracted to me wouldn’t work for me. I just wouldn’t feel like it.

Bubbles1st · 17/01/2021 10:49

Have you ever been out on the town and just been looking for a one night stand? If you haven't done that you really might as well before turning to a sex worker. At least they will be horny and attracted to you if they want to go home with you. You make sure he isn't too drunk!

formerbabe · 17/01/2021 10:50

Yes thank you to the posters who understood my comment.

I don't believe that men are being sex trafficked to service the needs of women...or if they are, it's a staggeringly small number.

If it's wrong for men, it's wrong for women

I don't understand this comment...I think either way, its abhorrent. Nothing I said, suggested otherwise.

june2007 · 17/01/2021 10:51

The hypocrossy on here. Men are trafficked for sex work for both men and women. It degrades the user and the worker. It leaves both open to exploitation and violence. I read a cosmopolitan article about 3 women who used male prostitutes they all thought it was ok, like men think using women is ok. It really isn,t. I watched a programme about a dominetrix. (male) He serviced men and women but you could see the damage it had done to his own life and he had been abused as well. (hence why he bcame a dominator.).

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/01/2021 10:51

@Lockheart

Why would you post this on AIBU on MN rather than go to a sex-focussed forum? There's even a sex board on MN.
If OP has indeed name changed, she? may not be allowed on to the Sex Topic, you have to have been here a little while. Not sure if the system can detect a name change for these purposes? Or who knows, you could say it's a name change, and that not actually be true? Any journalist with even a basic knowledge of the site would come on and say 'name change, penis beaker, pom bears'. Hmm
VodselForDinner · 17/01/2021 10:52

People using the plumber analogy are missing a point- plumbers are not part of a trade where they can be trafficked across the world at a young age, raped, beaten, drugged, and tortured.
Sure, you’ll more than likely end up hiring a man who is in it for the money, but why support such an industry?

Ick.

Annoy · 17/01/2021 10:53

Are you in a relationship OP?

The best thing my DH and I did for our seed life was to explore Tantric. We’ve been to workshops in the past and they were amazing

Annoy · 17/01/2021 10:53

Supposed to say sex live 🙄

VodselForDinner · 17/01/2021 10:56

@Opheliaa

considering men account for 25% of human trafficking victims I would say you are wrong. Very wrong.

I think you misrepresent that. As much of that is about child sex trafficking. Boys, being raped by men. Not the same at all.

And when those boys grow up, do you think the majority of them overcome their tragically abusive histories and go on to study medicine at Oxford, or do you think there’s a chance that many are unable to escape and end up in the sex industry because it’s pretty much all the validation they’ve ever known?
VienneseWhirligig · 17/01/2021 10:56

No but I used to work with a male prostitute. Respectable public sector job, in HR, but he was also an escort and did voice over work and modelling for porn films and magazines. Silly prat got found out when we all had to create LinkedIn profiles as part of a new initiative at work and he added his website to his, where his credits and contact details were...

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 10:56

Give me strength no, men are not being trafficked just to have sex with other men, why would you possibly imagine the traffickers have qualms about who they sell it to? i can think of 4 different drug addicts ive worked with whove been forced into male prostitution. They sleep with more women than men, men dont tend to have to pay for it with other men.

LaceyBetty · 17/01/2021 10:56

Men are trafficked for sex work for both men and women. It degrades the user and the worker.

Wholeheartedly agree with the second sentence, but not the first. It is just not true that men are trafficked for sex work for women. At least not in any way even beginning to approach women being trafficked for men. Just not true.

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 10:57

ohhhh its all fun sex and the city shit with men doing it as a part time job to support their fledgling west end acting career. Its a bit of fun for you and the girls to talk about over contrived brunch.

formerbabe · 17/01/2021 10:57

[quote RhubarbAndRoses]@formerbabe considering men account for 25% of human trafficking victims I would say you are wrong. Very wrong. www.apa.org/monitor/2017/04/sex-trafficking[/quote]
@rhubarbandroses

I didn't deny they could be trafficked. I do not think they are being trafficked to service the needs of women in the main. The number of women willing to pay for that is vanishingly small.

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 10:58

how is it not true. It happens all the time but 'isnt true'?

BananaPop2020 · 17/01/2021 10:58

God the hypocrisy on this site is breathtaking at times. I had a couple of posters laying into me the other day about how a lap dance was a ‘sex act’ but it seems many are absolutely fine with this far more intimate, personal act.

GeidiPrimes · 17/01/2021 10:59

Straight male prostitutes tend to be punters themselves. For some bizarre reason they think that although they can't obtain sex without paying for it, somebody might like to pay them. You won't get a "sexpert" OP Grin Grin

CutToChase · 17/01/2021 10:59

They sleep with more women than men, men dont tend to have to pay for it with other men

I dont believe this for a second and the last part of your sentence makes zero sense.

Literally any woman, including unattractive ones, can get laid for free on tap if they so choose.

formerbabe · 17/01/2021 11:00

@user1471565182

ohhhh its all fun sex and the city shit with men doing it as a part time job to support their fledgling west end acting career. Its a bit of fun for you and the girls to talk about over contrived brunch.
I know lots of women...I've never once heard one admit to using male prostitutes. You're absolutely dreaming if you think women get together over a bottle of prosecco and giggle about using male prostitutes. It just doesn't happen.
LaceyBetty · 17/01/2021 11:00

@user1471565182

how is it not true. It happens all the time but 'isnt true'?
A drug addict who feels the need to turn to sex for money is not the same as trafficking. I think it is all tragic and sad and would seriously judge anyone, man or woman, paying for sex, but don't think it helps anyone to suggest men are "trafficked" to have sex with women in anywhere near the same way that they are trafficked for sex with men and the way women are trafficked for sexy with men.
RantyAnty · 17/01/2021 11:00

I would like one but mostly to go somewhere posh with someone gorgeous and had good manners, even if he was acting.

Dinner, dancing, lots of cuddling, and passionate kissing.
The idea of having a sure thing as a date without the pawing and games would be nice.
The sex, I could take it or leave it.

smoothchange · 17/01/2021 11:01

I'm laughing at the idea prostitutes are experts.

The majority of them are drug addicts looking for a way to buy their next fix.

There is nothing remotely glamorous.

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