To wonder if anyone has used a male prositute

[SparklyLeopard]

Ive NC for this as I'm a regular and this is a bit random I know! I've had a few relationships over the years and not been really satisfied with sex. Find myself fantasising about being with a man who is a real expert. Not sure I could ever have the nerve to do so and would have no idea where to start! And certainly not now for obvious reasons but I'm curious and would love to hear about other's experiences.

Care to answer my previous questions about this 'legitimate' profession?

I didn't notice your questions. You seem quite aggressive. But I'll roll with that for now in the interest of reasoned debate.

Do you think it should be included in school career guidance?
No. Because it is not without risk, and the level of male violence / sex kinks would not encourage me to push it towards schoolgirls. It's something that can only be decided as an adult.

Or that those claiming unemployment benefits should be obliged to take it up or risk losing those benefits?

No. I don't think anyone should be pushed into high risk jobs that they are not suited to. As that removes choice. And then it is abusive. But those who chose to do it, like myself, without the school or job centre pushing me into it and removing / reducing my choice, is fine. And I think under those circumstances, it is a legitimate job.

(Name changed for this)

I actually know a male escort and he does not charge women for his services. A lot of part-time male escorts don't charge women for their services, and do it for the variety of sexual encounters and enjoyment. He's successful and women tend to book him for very specific reasons and not just because they fancy a fuck - as others have rightly pointed out, women can find someone to have sex with them far more easily than men ca.

I must admit that when he told me, I was very surprised as he's so average to look at. But, sometimes, it is not about looks and about being with a man who is comfortable with his sexuality and knows how to please (and guide) a woman. Outside of escorting, he's an academic. Due to its low pay, there's a surprisingly number of academics who moonlight as sex workers.

He's very charming and interesting to talk to, and genuinely loves women, so I can see why he does well. However, I am not sure if he would be as busy if he charged money. As others have also pointed out, there are many chancers who think they can be escorts and charge women for sex, and they discover the hard way, that there is no custom for them at all.

@Opheliaa

Care to answer my previous questions about this 'legitimate' profession?

I didn't notice your questions. You seem quite aggressive. But I'll roll with that for now in the interest of reasoned debate.

Do you think it should be included in school career guidance?
No. Because it is not without risk, and the level of male violence / sex kinks would not encourage me to push it towards schoolgirls. It's something that can only be decided as an adult.

Or that those claiming unemployment benefits should be obliged to take it up or risk losing those benefits?

No. I don't think anyone should be pushed into high risk jobs that they are not suited to. As that removes choice. And then it is abusive. But those who chose to do it, like myself, without the school or job centre pushing me into it and removing / reducing my choice, is fine. And I think under those circumstances, it is a legitimate job.

So I think we agree that 'sex work' is not in fact 'legitimate'. It doesn't meet even the minimal conditions of legitimate work.

So I think we agree that 'sex work' is not in fact 'legitimate'. It doesn't meet even the minimal conditions of legitimate work

No. I don't agree with you. Do stop trying to put words into other people's mouths or claiming you speak for all women. It's pretty dull.

I think it is a legitimate job as long as the following conditions are met:

1. school children are not pushed into it. They are not mature enough to make that decision.
2. the job centre does not push people into it at the threat of removing benefits because it is then no longer a choice.
3. it is a decision that an adult has made, and that it is their choice, and their choice alone.

My current partner has ‘escorted’ in the past. He’s bisexual and, if I remember correctly, he said that he’s only actually been paid for sex by men. I think he’s lovely, attentive and he’s the best sex I’ve ever had.

I had a relationship with a guy who’d done porn and escorting in the past when he was desperate to pay off debt in his early twenties.

It really fucked him up mentally and emotionally. He was in therapy years later, having been through drug addiction in the meantime.

@Opheliaa

A persons body is not a commodity for buying

If it's a truly a free choice then I would say that is up to the individual to decide.

Refer to ‘Nordic model’ on line for more info. 🙂

@draughtycatflap

Am laughing so much!

Refer to ‘Nordic model’ on line for more info

What info is it you would like to share?

As others have said, good sex is when you are both utterly have the hots for each other, are all over each other and bloody desperate for each other.
Just not going to get there with someone paid to be with you.

Personally I can't imagine anything more humiliating, degrading and more of a turn off than a man only having sex with me because I paid him to.

This is the sort of OPost which seems a fishing trip for article fodder.

I don't see how someone else's experience can throw much light on the likelihood of good or bad experiences for another.

I. This day and age it seems plenty of casual opportunities from dating sites.

I don't think escorts are the thing, as online dating makes experiences available for those who don't want an emotional relationship.

First of all to answer OP's question, no I haven't used a male prostitute and know no one who has admitted to it. I would be extremely if I learned about a friend doing it. This is mostly because I strongly morally disagree with the concept of paying for sex (I think its intrinsically exploitative) but also its usually not that difficult for women to get casual sex if they want it.

Anyway, after reading the OP, I googled male escorts in my area out of curiosity and it was pretty funny! There were a couple of pretty hot guys on the one website I looked at but most looked awful. Typical terrible selfies of average to below average men that you see all over Tinder! The hot ones wanted £150+ an hour but I saw one guy charging £10.50 an hour! I can't imagine most of them get any takers whatsoever!

I actually know a male escort and he does not charge women for his services
surely a sex worker is by definition someone who charges for their services, or are you saying that he charges men for sex, but not women?

@Yohoheaveho

I actually know a male escort and he does not charge women for his services surely a sex worker is by definition someone who charges for their services, or are you saying that he charges men for sex, but not women?

I’m guessing he charges for his company rather than the sex? Otherwise he isn’t a male escort or a sex worker 🤔

@Yohoheaveho

I actually know a male escort and he does not charge women for his services surely a sex worker is by definition someone who charges for their services, or are you saying that he charges men for sex, but not women?

He charges men, and if it is a couples' booking. If it's a woman, he often arranges to meet them for a drink to discuss things, and will only proceed if she is comfortable with him. Often, there is dinner involved, and the woman pays for dinner. He does accept tips from women, and he has women who he sees with a degree of regularity and they tip him in lieu of payment. I think for some women, this is a slightly more palatable option than paying upfront.

For those who suggest OP uses Tinder, it's not really comparable tbh. Transactional sex, when it is wholly consensual is much easier and straight forward as both parties know what is what and boundaries are put in place.

I honestly think OP is making a good decision but only if she researches who she engages with carefully. OP, if you do go ahead, you want someone independent rather than someone who works for an agency. This is really important as you will be directly with the man you will be meeting, rather than a receptionist or agency owner. It is paramount that you find someone you feel comfortable with, so it is advisable to meet with someone who is happy to have a drink with you before you agree to anything. Keep looking until you find someone you 'click' with.

As an aside, and without wanting to have everyone pile on me, but I am actually an independent part-time companion (although the pandemic has totally put the kibosh on it.) It is something I do out of choice. I screen the men I consent to meet with a great amount of care, and probably take a far more cautious approach than I ever did in my personal life when I used to online date.

CoraPearl
thank you for your reply, I think it's generous of you to be open about such a difficult emotive and divisive subject

@Yohoheaveho

CoraPearl thank you for your reply, I think it's generous of you to be open about such a difficult emotive and divisive subject

Thank you, it is appreciated .

I find it difficult to comment on any threads on this platform regarding escorting and prostitution because as you correctly say, it is such a divisive subject.

I have read quite a few of the AMA threads about escorting and prostitution and they're all a world away from my experiences. I am thankful for this.

Sorry I'm late to catch up on this. Thank you for all the replies. Certainly given me alot to think about.

Opheliaa, Im a few years late to respond to your post on mums.net
"It causes harm to women that are forced in to it. It may cause harm to those who choose to go into it too. But it doesn't cause harm to all women that make a choice to do it. It didn't cause harm to me.(Can I ask? Did you make that informed choice as a young woman?)So it doesn't cause harm to all women. There will be other women who have had the same experience as me. So do not seek to speak for all women" I'm so sorry that you women experienced such horrific atrocities that you will never speak about while seeking asylum in the UK..xx